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I HATE abortion!! No one couldve prepared me for the heartache............

Posted by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 6:39 PM
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we have felt since my 17 year old sister aborted twins at 17 weeks. She already had an 8 month old daughter and she admitted to going off of birth control when her daughter was just 2 months old. Her first pregnancy was hidden (with hoodies, sweats, etc.) for the first 34 weeks! She wanted to give the baby up for adoption and me and my husband told her we would raise her baby as our own. we also offered to raise her daughter until she got out of high school and got on her feet. On the day we were supposed to bring the baby home, she backed out. This left my children, my husband, and myself totally heartbroken. 

She then went on to get pregnant again on purpose. This time she started acting weird and i suggested to my mother that she should have her take a pregnancy test. Well it came out positive and then nothing could have prepared me for what happened. My entire family of Christians encouraged, supported, and paid for her abortion of twins at 17 weeks. I hate her. I hate every one of them that were involved. I cried, screamed, prayed, demanded to stop it. They lied to me about when the abortion would be. 

Here is where it gets really unreal for me. She went to an abortion clinic on a Saturday and when they found out there were two babies and she was 17 weeks, they refused to do the abortion. I dont know all the details but she knew and felt those babies kick and move from Saturday until Monday afternoon when she could be transported out of state to have them murdered. 

They waited until she was on the table to tell me that she was definitely going through with it. They had lied and told me she backed out. They knew if i could get to her that i would try anything to stop it. Im at a loss at this point. I have cut everyone involved out of my life. My mother had a forced abortion as a teenager and she didnt try to stop it even though she has told me time and time again that she deeply regrets it and wonders every day who that baby would have grown up to be. I told them all that being silent was the same as encouraging it because they did not fight to keep those babies alive. ABORTION IS NEVER THE RIGHT OPTION. This happened on Oct 22nd, 2012 and i dont know if i can ever really get over this. When i see a mom with twins or just some one who is pregnant, i cry. We have been trying to have our third child for four years. In that amount of time she was blessed with three, and killed two. IF you have any advice, please share. I feel like this is ruining my life even though i fought with everything i had to stop it. I just keep thinking that if i had not said to give her a pregnancy test then by the time it came out, those angels would have been too far along to be killed. I cant forgive myself.

by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 6:39 PM
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Replies (1-7):
diane125
by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 9:31 AM

I'm so very sorry.  :(  (((HUGS)))

Don't ever blame yourself. You did everything you possibly could to stop it. Also, depending where you live, the viability issue may not have mattered anyway. You see, there are 10 states scattered throughout the U.S. with no viability limit - meaning its legal to get an abortion right up until birth. Your sister already went out-of-state for her abortion.

I'm sorry that you are dealing with so much..the mourning of the twins, the betrayal from your family, the anger at the injustice. You just have to allow yourself some time to heal and move on. Take good care of yourself and you can vent here if it helps. Unfortunately, there hasn't been anyone else in this group for quite some time. But I'll be here to listen. You can pm too, if you'd like. (((HUGS)))

emtmomtwo
by New Member on Jan. 4, 2013 at 1:06 PM

im really shocked that this group isnt exploding with members! im part of the TTC group on cafemom. a post regarding abortion popped up there and i was so disappointed to see so many women who have a hard time getting pregnant support abortions. i was called alot of names during the deal with my sister. i was told i was psychotic because i offered to give the babies a home. i was told that i am just mad that i cant pregnant. i already have two children with my husband. 

diane125
by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 9:35 PM

It really is sad that none of the the pro-life groups are that active. I wish they were. It's also really sad how many people are so vicious when it comes to abortion. Women on CM can get very cruel. I've been called every name in the book from woman-murderer, to judgemental b***h, to hypocrite because I haven't adopted, to misogynist, and so on simply because I'm pro-lfe. I'm so sorry they were so cruel to you simply because you wanted to save babies lives. :(

emtmomtwo
by New Member on Jan. 5, 2013 at 10:43 AM

its okay. i have thick skin. i just wish more women would take a stand against it. i know what you mean about being called names. i havent adopted either. i have two of my own that are 5 and 6. we have discussed becoming foster parents and adopting. at the moment we simply cant afford it. i dont think that not adopting makes you a hypocrite at all. we were going to adopt my sisters first baby because kinship adoptions are cheaper. 

cuellarhatcher7
by New Member on Feb. 12, 2013 at 12:00 AM

I just cried reading your story. I'm angry too! I agree with Diane that you need time to heal. I suggest a post-abortive program like Rachel's Vineyard or the Mourning to Joy program through Care Net. Although you didn't abort, it is still a HUGE loss in your life and I believe you need to go through the same process an post-abortive woman does. You have the anger, the regret, the sadness. It is a hard program to go through because you face all those emotions and more. You can even give the babies a name. Naming my aborted child helped me immensely. It's just a suggestion. I am so sorry you are going through this. I also don't understand how "Christians" can condone abortion. (Hugs)

emtmomtwo
by New Member on Feb. 12, 2013 at 12:08 AM

thank you. i will definitely look into the places you mentioned. i have pretty much been silenced. the one person i had to talk to about it looked at me the other day and told me i needed to get the fuck over it. i cant just get over it. they would have been born anytime between now and this time next month. i loved them even though i only knew there was two once they were actually being killed. i found a diagram online and it has traumatized me. all i do is cry when i think about those little angels. i would have given them a home and loved them like my own. yet i am a psycho because i wanted to save them. i still have not talked to anyone in my family and i wont. murder is murder.


Quoting cuellarhatcher7:

I just cried reading your story. I'm angry too! I agree with Diane that you need time to heal. I suggest a post-abortive program like Rachel's Vineyard or the Mourning to Joy program through Care Net. Although you didn't abort, it is still a HUGE loss in your life and I believe you need to go through the same process an post-abortive woman does. You have the anger, the regret, the sadness. It is a hard program to go through because you face all those emotions and more. You can even give the babies a name. Naming my aborted child helped me immensely. It's just a suggestion. I am so sorry you are going through this. I also don't understand how "Christians" can condone abortion. (Hugs)



Love says, i sacrifice myself for the other person.

Abortion says, i sacrifice the other person for myself.

cuellarhatcher7
by New Member on Feb. 12, 2013 at 11:11 PM
1 mom liked this

I hope you find help. I forgot to mention yesterday, because I was so upset about your story, that the woman who wrote the Mourning to Joy program for Care Net wasn't post-abortive. She worked in a pathology lab and had the job of examining the dead babies that came to her from the abortion clinics. She used to be pro-choice until then. She and her husband were trying to conceive and here she was day in and day out examining perfect tiny babies and it became too much. She had to check herself into a psychiatric hospital. There, she was told how all these feelings were in her head and didn't make sense. She realized women weren't taken seriously regarding abortion regret and needed help. So, abortion also affects people who are exposed to it and it is unnecessary for anyone to tell you to get over it. This abortion is close to you. I'm so sorry.

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