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Does anyone elses child...

Posted by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 12:40 AM
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Beat on you or anyone else just because they want to? My son is 6. He is mild to moderate autistic. He is mostly verbal but not always to where he will express wants or needs. He is normally a very sweet child but in the last few months he has started hitting and kicking me and not when having a meltdown. He does hit then too but we will be sitting together on the couch watching tv and he will just start hitting me or kicking me. I tell him to stop. He'll stop for all of 5 seconds and start up again. I will put him on a time out. He will go right back to it as soon as he's up. I will get up and walk away. He follows me and does it more. Tonight I was walking around trying to clean up and he's right behind me smacking my elbow. When he kicks he kicks with the heal of his foot and he always targets a joint like the elbow, knee or hip bone. I'm trying my very hardest to understand but I don't understand why he wants to hurt me. We have a trampoline and a swingset in the backyard. I will tell him to go jump for a bit hoping that's what he might need to settle down. Doesn't work. He also has 3 younger brothers ages 4, 3 and 2 months old. If he gets frustrated about something he will seek one of them out and hit the knuckles of his hands against their heads. With the baby I can't leave him alone with him. He thinks that a baby needs to always be crying and if he isn't crying he wants to make him cry so he hits him. I'm so at a loss for what to do. I'm sorry, I think i just needed to talk about it. Thanks to anyone who took a minute to listen.

by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 12:40 AM
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Replies (1-9):
Carola75
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 1:15 AM
I don't have any advice, but I just wanted to say you're not alone! My 3 year old who hasn't been officially diagnosed yet started with his sister. He'd throw himself on her and hit her. She's 17 months younger than him. He would take everything out on her and still does. But recently he started hitting me. He'll curse at me and slap, punch, kick me or pull my hair. It's so sad. I try not to get mad because I know it's not him, it's Autism. But it breaks my heart. I do put him in time out, but he'll laugh and keeps saying the bad words. Until I take his security blankets, he then calls me "beautiful". It's just so hard to understand. I know he loves me. I know he doesn't mean to do it. But sometimes he just has this look that's almost evil and starts yelling at me and runs to come and hurt me. I'm very new to this. I do try to put his feelings into words and he will tell me he's mad or frustrated, but it's usually after the fact. Something his therapist told me was to tell him to get the "mad" out on his trampoline. When he's on it, I tell him I see all the "mads" coming out and they're turning into happies. He gets a kick out of it. Sometimes when he's angry he's surprised me by saying he's gonna get the mad out. Then he comes back all smiles saying he turned it into happy. I give him a reward for that. My son can be very sweet to me when he's calm and in a good mood. I can't wait to start further therapies with him so they can teach me what to do when he gets violent. Sometimes I grab him from behind. I sit him down and wrap my arms tightly over his. I wrap my legs around his, holding them down. And I rock him. That helps calm him and he can't hurt me. Unless he tries to hit me with his head, but that's rare. Hugs to you! I know how you feel!
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spidermansmom
by Member on Mar. 2, 2011 at 2:37 PM
Deep pressure! Maybe hugging (also restrains him). My son was the same way at 2 1/2. He would punch, kick, bite and throw things. He hit my 5 mth old niece over her head with a picture frame!
The therapist and I showed him how to interact appropriately by using dolls and stuffed animals. It may sound weird but IT WORKED. The next time he was around her he patted her on her head. It took about 2 mths but his interactions with his brother got A LOT better. He is now 3 and doesn't have meltdowns or tantrums anymore. He plays appropriately with his schoolmates and sibling.
If you have dolls then recreate the same situations and show him how he is supposed to respond.

Good luck!
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Eva1973
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 3:39 PM

Wow this post scares the crap out of me.  My DS is 2 1/2 yrs and is starting to show some violent behavior.  He kicks mostly.  I hope it doesn't escalate to what you're talking about.  Maybe your son has some other problem in addition to the autism?  Like ADHD or bipolar.  

Beth100
by Bronze Member on Mar. 3, 2011 at 2:10 PM

surrenderYou need to address this issue with therapy.  Does he have ABA, OT, or any therapies.  if not......he needs some.  This can really get out of hand if it is not addressed quickly.  It does seem to be something that happens often in autistic children.  Talk to his pediatrition if nothing else and get some help.

wifeandmother4
by Member on Mar. 3, 2011 at 6:41 PM


Quoting Beth100:

surrenderYou need to address this issue with therapy.  Does he have ABA, OT, or any therapies.  if not......he needs some.  This can really get out of hand if it is not addressed quickly.  It does seem to be something that happens often in autistic children.  Talk to his pediatrition if nothing else and get some help.


He hasn't received any other therapy other than what they offer at school since he started the preschool program at age 3. It seems to only be a problem at home though because his teacher says she never sees any aggression in him and that he's the sweetest boy in the world. I wonder if it's his way of reacting to the new baby? It started about a month before he was born and he's 2 months old now. He never behaved that way when his two other brothers came along though. Also we are a military family and his daddy is deployed right now. Although he will be home next month. Maybe he feels my stress? I do plan to look into therapy but I'm waiting for my husband to come home where I can have some help with the other boys.  

arkansasmama08
by Member on Mar. 3, 2011 at 9:14 PM

might just be a temporary power trip. Since he's verbal try talking to him and discipline him. when he hits, tell him that's not how we use our hands. if he does it again try it again. That's not how we use our hands, we touch others nicely. does it again- put him in timeout. autistic or not, they still need to learn.

ijustlove2smile
by on Mar. 3, 2011 at 10:05 PM
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momof3_dll
by on Mar. 4, 2011 at 11:10 PM

I agree with Beth100, you may want to seek out private therapy if you can.  My 4yo son is in OT and it has helped him quite a bit.  You learn a lot from the therapists and different techniques to help calm and regulate your child.

bxmom2580
by on Mar. 8, 2011 at 7:23 PM

my heart goes out to you, my 3 yr old has similar behavior, he doesnt kick me though, and he doesnt do it often, but sometimes he will smack me on the legs, or head butt me on the thigh, or bite my clothes, but when he is very upset, he tries to smack and punch me in my face, it makes me feel very bad

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