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Mom in need of motivation to keep moving onward

Posted by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 12:33 PM
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I am new to this group. I am slowly losing the momentum to keep the pace up and feel good about myself as someone who needs to be taken care of too. I spend my every waking moments moving in a daze. I feel at times I am disconnecting myself emotionally from this grueling routinue of constant schealue. I learn everyday how hard it is to manage a child who solely relys of you for every need. The older my child gets the worest it feels to be to cope and handle the everyday situations. Is there moms out there who know this feeling of pure mental and phyical exshaution I feel? Any way it gets better? Any positive feedback on ways I could slightly change up my life to fit better on what I need too? Or is it always about the child? My child shouldn't take so much away from me that I have none to give to the other childern, or is that how its gonna be when a child is austic?

by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 12:33 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mrs.wondergem
by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 12:45 PM

I have four children and the youngest boy (child three) has autism.  I know how you feel.  There are times when it seems that in order to take care of him there is nothing left to give others, but i do think that as he has grown it seems like those times become less of the norm.....I am so sorry that you are feeling so overwhelmed with things....hang in there!  I wish that I had some wonderful word of wisdom to offer you but that is all I have.  I would tell you that it is super important to have a chance to get away once awhile so try to find someone that understands what things are like for you and then occasionally have them watch your child so that you can get a break.  These break will probably not be as often as you would like, but some time away is better than no time.  Good luck to you and you are in my thoughts. 

melissarose72
by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 12:55 PM

I think I was in a numb-angry-shocked phase for about 2 years after my son's dx. (my son was first evaluated for autism at 15 months). It's only been recently that I've started to feel more like myself (although I think some parts of me will never feel the old normal again). This is our only child & hit us out of the blue. Plus my dh had been overseas for almost a year, so I felt truly alone. Alone, scared, angry, confused. Even after he came home, I still felt alone. He went to work every day. He had friends, etc.

Hang in there. For me, I think it was a gradual process of feeling better & finding ways to cope. No one imagines strangers coming into your home, so your child can have therapy when they aren't even 2 years old. No one imagines leaving a sobbing child with basic strangers for ABA therapy or preschool. Just this year (my son is 4 now), I've started taking care of myself again. My son shows progress, although there are still difficult/frustrating/pull my hair out areas....he's like a different child than he was a year ago. It just took time & lots of patience. My heart doesn't hurt as much when I see him around typical kids.

It is OK to forget about autism for periods of time. It is OK to just have fun with your child. What does he/she enjoy the most? My son loves those bouncy houses & inflatiable slides. Other than making sure bigger kids don't push him aside (he's basicall non-verbal)....he can just be a kid, having fun.

Is there anyone in your life that can help out, so you have a break? A friend, a husband or partner, a family member, even a paid helper.....???

Hugs to you & your family.

InloveWnotti97
by New Member on Mar. 28, 2011 at 1:38 PM

Ty

InloveWnotti97
by New Member on Mar. 28, 2011 at 1:38 PM

Ty

kaismama1006
by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 1:54 PM
Hang in there, we haven't had our dx that long but my son has always been autistic, we've had to deal with all the mental and physical exhaustion for a long time so I know what you mean. My other son is younger and learned from a very young age to be independent and help much as possible.
my sister is severely low functioning autistic, she is 7 years older than me, but I started helping with her as soon as I could walk basically. I potty-trained myself at 16 months by taking her to the bathroom. there have been ups and downs with being the only other girl sibling of her, of course. Now that I'm almost 27 my relationship with my sister is something I honestly cherish. What kind of wonderful spirits God must have thought all of these children were before he sent them here to live their lives sin free. They can do no wrong in gods eyes. They are precious spirits!!!
I hope this helps.
And I'm more than willing to answer any questions or concerns ppl may have about growing up with an autistic sibling.
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Apple1
by Head Admin on Mar. 28, 2011 at 2:01 PM

 

My heart goes out to you...I know how you feel, it's such a long road full of trials, and struggles.  When my son was diagnosed, our whole world fell apart, not only was he diagnosed with Autism, but he had chronic digestive issues that pulled at my heart day in and day out.  Slowly putting together the pieces, things have gotten easier for us, although a life with Autism is never easy.  I have found for me, that it's so important to take time away just to get some fresh air, have a cup of coffee, just time for me.  Is there someone who can watch your little one for you so that you can go out and have sometime for you?  Even if it's just a half hour to start...I have found this to help me so much.  We as mom's get exhausted day in and day out if we don't take sometime for ourselves and do something we enjoy.   Now that I make time for something I enjoy at least once a week, things aren't so overwelming...  I hope this helps.  Big hugs to you momma!!

Eva1973
by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 11:35 PM

i know how you feel.  I have no one to help me during the day when DH is working.  Absolutely NO ONE.  And I can't afford to pay someone either.  

AngelaPatton
by Bronze Member on Mar. 29, 2011 at 10:28 AM
Take your vitamins! I found I was low in vitamin D and iron. Supplements have helped tremendously.
Also getting a break now and then. Now that mine are both in school full time I'm coping much better.
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Beth100
by Bronze Member on Mar. 29, 2011 at 1:04 PM

hugsI am the Gramma of an autistic boy.  His mother, (my daughter suffers from Bi-Polar" disorder to the max!  So, I understand your delima in soooo many ways!  First off...and you might need help from your family for this one.....find an hour or even a half hour for yourself everyday.  Go for a walk, retreat to a solitary space for some "quiet time", take yourself for a soda or ice cream.  Anything you want to do.  Secondly, I am wondering if there are any autism family support groups in your area....they are a great way to brainstorm, let off steam & most importantly to know that you are not alone.  I wish you all the best Mama.......I know it is tuff.  Beth100

melissarose72
by on Mar. 29, 2011 at 1:20 PM

Look into respite programs!

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