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Emotional Conundrum...

Posted by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 12:08 AM
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My little boy is 8 years old was diagnosed with autism at 3, he is not fully potty trained (still has accidents and speaks three word sentences).  I recently gave into giving him medication to (take of the edge) according to his neurologist, this decision is killing me but I found myself with no other choice.  He goes to private school and they told me that they have tried every behavioral intervention and nothing has worked.  They recommended that I take him to a doctor.  I tried the biomedical route a few months ago and $4000 later didn't see much change.  He's on the g/c diet.  I'm trying to let go the guilt of giving him medication since it is only temporary, working with behavioralist to help nip it and will try to get him off the meds asap.  (limited with aba since my insurance does cover aba). I'm not knocking meds, I was raised by a health nut grandma and again always try to go the natural way.  He's much more attentive and calm with the meds but does have his occasional meltdown.


I adore my little boy, and I'm told by many that I need to have " me time" and I do feel completely consumed sometimes but I'm his mommy and it just comes natural.  He needs me and I really don't trust him with anyone because of his lack of speech.  As for dating, (having gone on a date in two yrs.) quite frankly, its going to have to take one very special man to love my little boy as his own and I will not settle for anything less.

Just listed an array of emotions -sorry just venting I guess.  Although, I'm exhausted and overwhelmed at times but I wouldn't have it any other way, I have to stay strong and positive because after all... he's my sunshine :)

by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 12:08 AM
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by Bronze Member on Aug. 19, 2011 at 12:35 AM


       Thank you for sharing your ordeal with us.  I can understand a lot of what you have been through.  I have a nine year old severly ASD grandson.  I love him dearly.  He is on meds.  We have no other alternative because he has aggressive behaviior.  But, there is sooo much to go through, trying to find the right  treatment.  And it is different for all kids, it seems.  I am sorry that you cannot find some time for yourself, but there again, what is one to do?  And I agree that finding a man that would accept  and love your child would be hard............but hardly IMPOSSIBLE!  (We just think it is, because we see our kids at their worst.)  But when all is said and done, I don't think any of us would trade them.....maybe cure them.......but if not.......they are still our treasure.  Hang in there!  Beth100

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by Member on Aug. 19, 2011 at 10:22 AM

You sound like a very good  conscientious mom.

by Member on Aug. 19, 2011 at 11:58 AM

I just read this post and I have to tell you that you are not alone. Although my circumstances are different, we are both moms to little boys that need ALOT from us so I can def. understand that. I would check into getting respite care. A trained professional can help you out when you feel the need to have someone take care of your child. We have not checked into it yet. Hubby and I take turns having our own "me time".I am thinking if your insurance covers ABA, there might be a good chance they will cover this too. You sound like a great mom and he sounds like a great kid :) {hugs}

by New Member on Aug. 19, 2011 at 12:37 PM

I can understand what  your going through.  I bet your a great mom!  It is so difficult sometimes, to put away an hour of time for yourself.  The guilt is impossible!  Remember your a better mother when you're feeling good as well (this is a completely hypocritical statement from me, as I find it impossible to relax myself, but it is true).  Go with your intuition when it comes to the treatment of your child.  If you feel like medicine is right, do that, if you don't, don't .  Hang in there!

by Member on Aug. 21, 2011 at 11:19 PM

  I want to share my experience with you as what happened to me only.  I have now met other moms who have walked down my same path & I'm not sure how I could have done things differently.  But just for you to tuck away in the back of your mind...

   My PDD son is now 14.  I adopted him at 3, knowing some of his problems - others became clear later - but I was an Early Interventionist & thought I knew everything that I was facing & could handle it.

   I now have been on disability for 5 yrs. due to complete physical & mental exhaustion.  My son is temporarily living in an intensive treatment facility & school. (And doing very well).

  I was a widow, had 2 much older children & had been a foster mom for many years because I love kids.  I had worked full time for 12 yrs when my son came along & I had all the energy & love in the world for this child & the many hats I wore. 

   Being the mom of a PDD child 24/7, dealing with all the issues you must face & single is a really tough job.   You meet so many people who don't understand; not to mention don't support you.  You try every treatment that you hear about.  You simply wear yourself out.  I did. 

  I don't have any advice to offer except to accept any help you can get.  Don't believe you are a failure because of how difficult the road you're walking is.  Many people have no clue what supermoms we are & that's ok because we have each other.  God's comfort & blessings to you. 

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