My DS broke a window with his head tonight...

[kykeyu]

   It has been a rough month for us. My youngest has been exhibiting a huge increase in bouts of violence. He is attacking his brothers, trying to do bodily injury. Nothing seems to be working except using myself as a human shield and keeping him in sight at all times to circumvent behaviors. He gets very angry with me when I stop him from what appears to be his revenge, but of course that can't be helped, I can't let him beat on anyone. Just when I think it can't get much worse, somehow it still does.

   Tonight he went in his room, looked right at me, gave me his "mean" look (he practices this look in his reflection in the microwave, so he will be sure to get it right), and threw himself headfirst into the window. Luckily he was uninjured except for a very small cut on his forehead. This isn't the first time he has broken a window. This is his third in a year. The others he broke with his fists. Now it appears his MO is changing.

   I know that this is something that happens with others on the Spectrum, and isn't unique to my child. But this is a very frustrating behavior and my biggest concern is that he will injure himself. It's too late to have the window fixed tonight so I patched it up and will replace it with plexiglass tomorrow. I have started replacing downstairs windows with plexiglass already, I just hadn't made it that far yet, so I do have a quasi solution in mind.

   I guess the reason I posted this on here was to vent, and to see if anyone in the group has maybe experienced this behavior and worked past it. Not sure if I mentioned this, but my DS with this behavior is 6 years old, he broke his first window at age 4 and the violence has been sporadic since he was about a year old, it's just getting more frequent. Some behaviors I thought we had worked past have popped back up en masse... just a rough patch I hope. Please, if you know of a strategy that might help list it here :). I would be very very grateful and forever in your debt.

[Betsy5]

It amazes me how kids on the spectrum can become so violent and not feel pain. Yet the most simple thing causes them to break down. My son is3, he gets out of control also. Every time its something different, he is on meds as needed for behavior. But since he is 3 i still can "take him down". I admit i sit on him or pin him while he is like this, it re directs his anger on trying to be free, an when i feel he is done he wants to cuddle however his mood can change quickly. Good luck

[AngelaPatton]

Mine was 2 when he broke his first window. He went through 3 before we were able to get them all replaced with safety glass.
The biggest help for us was ABA therapy. Helping him communicate his frustrations and work them out in other ways. My son would break things in "berserker mode" though, it wasn't intentional.

[kykeyu]

He is getting ABA therapy at school. He is about to start equine therapy. He also has a psychiatrist, a behaviorist, speech and language people... the list seems endless. He is two completely different kids... the one I see and the one at school. When he comes home it's like a mask is ripped off, that's the only way I can explain it. At school he is helpful, happy, with only mild issues occasionally. Once he gets home he strips off all his clothes, gets comfortable for a while, and then he sets out to deliberately cause trouble. It IS deliberate with him, for the most part. Self injury, injury to others, destruction of walls windows and other items. He pastes that "mean" look I described on his face and sets out to do his worst, so to speak. Not that he doesn't have good days too. It's just that there have been at least three major incidents every day for the past month, and I am worried. None of the professionals are able to recommend strategies for him, and I am at a loss.

[KayCee24]

I would ask for ABA at home.  There is always more behaviors at home usually because they feel it is a safe place for them to let go for awhile.  But they could evaluate and come up with help...visual charts, structured day, physical activities.  Depending on the space you have available I would also consider making him a "fort"  a solidily constructed little area just for him, with padding for the floor & walls.  Maybe some LED lights, other sensory stuff he likes.  Definitely get some in home help though!!  Just some ideas......good luck!!

[Apple1]

 

Sounds very much like he is getting overstimulated at school and when he comes home lets it all out....How many hours a day is he at school?  Wondering if some quiet time would help during the day, or down times where he can take a break and let loose a little...maybe do something that he enjoys for a few minutes a few times a day while he is at school.  Do you have a troupolin at home where he can jump for a while after coming home?  Does he like taking warm baths?  Both might help to release some of the anxiety's from his day and help him to relax.  If he likes warm baths, you can look into adding some epsom salt to them...this can help autistic children get more relaxed as it gently helps in calming them...you can start with 1/4 cup per bath and work upto 2 cups...Hugs to you and I hope things get better soon!

 

[kykeyu]

He is at school a full day, from 8 till 2:30. He gets sensory breaks as he is in an Autism-dedicated class. And he won't take a warm bath, lol, water has to be ICY cold and then he hangs out in it forever! Ty for the epsom salts tip, I will definitely try that. I hope things get better soon too. There has to be something that will get him off this track... thanks for all your replies :).

[destiny29]

Well, I agree with getting therapy in the home and I love all the sensory ideas the other women have posted. There is a great book called 'The out of Sync Child' that helps explain why kids with sensory problems do what they do and it gives you good practical ways to give them what they are seeking without endangering themselves or others. The library should have a copy. I can't tell you why your son is doing this other than it does sound like frustration and aggression. I know this is a sensitive subject, especially on this board, but is he on medications of any kind? There are side effects to meds and sometimes kids build up too much in their systems or the medication they are taking doesn't agree with their chemistry and you see a rise in behaviors. I'm very surprised the psychiatrist has not picked up on that or is "baffled." (I wish there was an autism training camp for these supposed specialists!) I would seriously look into some of the biomedical non-invasive stuff too. Avoid dyes in his food- koolaid is a no go. Fresh, organic veggies as much as you can and perhaps look into starting him on a gluten/ casein free diet. It doesn't help every child but the ones it does help, it does wonders for. If your child has one of those sensitivities, what happens is the hormones and the preservatives that are put in our foods get through the intestines and travel to the brain. The way they test for a gluten and casein sensitivity is by avoiding gluten or casein for a time and then giving him something with gluten or casein in it. If your child is sensitive, you'll see a huge change in behavior after avoiding it for a while. Lots of studies into coconut oil and fish oils too. Get those vitamins in, gets the omega 3's. If he isn't physically healthy, his brain will not be healthy either. Exercise! Make sure he is taking a walk every day or like one of the ladies suggested, a trampoline can be a life saver. Sounds like he likes to crash and bump inot things, maybe set up a trampoline next to a pile of bean bag chairs and teach him to jump of the trampoline and crash into the bean bags. He gets his "fix" and you save a window/ doctor visit. Absolutely put him on a rigid, predictable schedule so that he knows what to expect at every moment of the day. It is ok to give a sensory break once in a while but it should only be a break. He should not come home from school and just be left to do whatever he wants. This is actually very scary for kids on the spectrum and they cope by developing behaviors to fill their time. Have snack time after school, followed by break, homework time (if he has any), break, playdough or sandbox time, break, go for a walk time, have him learn to help you make dinner and keep him right there doing it with you (cooking is a skill he will need later in life as an adult. He can stir, pour, set the table, etc. Builds self esteem to feel like you contribute too.) After dinner have story time, break, clean your room time, break, bathtime, break, etc. But do the same thing every day at the same time if you can help it. You'll see him calm down a bit because he knows what its expected of him. Now this won't happen right away. You will have meltdowns and refusals for a few weeks while he learns that he isn't in charge and you will not be threatened by bullying behavior or him having a tantrum. Autsistic children do have meltdowns and he will have fits but it is never ok to hit, kick, spit, throw things or break things. If he needs to calm down, you put him in a place (away from windows) where he must sit and think and you be firm about it and you don't talk until he is calm and you don't let anyone else talk to him until he calms down. Then you make him apologize, if he is nonverbal, he can learn the sign for sorry or hug the person he acted against. If after therapy and all else fails, if he is not on medication you may have to resolve yourself to a tiny dose of something. But try this stuff first! Good luck and keep us posted!

[nikkic30]

My son also has violent spurts when he gets angry but since I have eliminated dairy from his diet and placed him in a Social Group, this has greatly improved. Violent outburst are very limited now.  Does he drink a lot of milk and eat a lot of carbs? Also, if he is not on a multi-vitamin and Omega 3, 6, 9 try this too. My son is doing much better since I made these changes.