aunt is mean to my daughter

[crossnlilly]

I need some advice. My husbands sister recently moved back to our town. When my daughter was little she was really nice to her. But now whenever we go to family functions she is really mean to my daughter and it is getting on my last nerve. My daughter has regressive autism so when she was younger she did talk and play then she stoppef. Ive tried explaining this to his sister. Lilly just has certain habits like she sits on kitchen tables. No one has a problem with her doing this i know cause i asked before she did it at anyones house but my own. My sister in law moved in with my mother in law and now i dont even take my kids over there cuz his sister constantly yells at her for being on the table or playing with the magnets on the fridge. Her grandma has always let het do this so she gets upset and doesnt understand why she gets yelled at for it. I dont say anyrhing to his sister because i know she was slow at learning and his mother gets very defensive if anybody outside of their immediate family says anything to her. Me and my husband have had this debate but he said i wad over reacting but the other day we had a birthday party at his brothers house anf his sister did the same thing. Before i said anything about this my aunt called me after the party and said she was pissed because she didnt like the way his sister was treating her. I said i thought i was the only one who saw this and she was like no me and your uncle wete getting ready ti say something. I dont know what to do but i know im about to snsp. She doesnt
Even take care of her kids but she is constsntly yelling at my daughter.

[briansmom123]

I am sorry you are having this trouble with family, it makes it soo hard to have to choose between your family and your child but I would not let any one treat my son badly, yelling, being mean or calling him names, NO way.  I would avoid anyone who does not treat him with respect and  love.   Avoid her eithe don't go to family events or  have them without her.  It sounds like you have tried to talk to her but she won't listen.  Good Luck, HUGS 

[BeccaGK]

I agree with briansmom, I would not let anyone talk to my son like that! I fight with my husband about the way he snaps at our son sometimes (he doesn't have a lot of patience). I would avoid her or at least tell her that she is not allowed to talk to your daughter. She obviously has a problem with her so she shouldn't have a problem staying away from her. If your husband won't stand up for you and your daughter then he can go to the family functions without you guys and you can do something with your daughter. She should not have to put up with anyone treating her that way. You are doing a great job standing up for her! Good luck

[crossnlilly]

thanks so much for the support . I told my husband the next time it happens if doesnt say something i will and i know this will cause a fight between me and his mom. I understand his mom is overprotective of her daughter but so am i. And the difference is my daughter is 4 hers is 34. I know its because she has autism because she is really nice to our son whose 1. But its kinda funny because my son ignores her i say its because he sees the way she treats his sister. And even though he is 1 my son loves and is very protevtive of his sister. Its just nice to know im not the only one who feels this way. Thanks again.

[Unicorn1110]

      My youngest same thing. Was ahead in many areas to about 3 then regressed. Now at 19 he is maybe 7-10.

      Aunt needs to know one of the rules she should have learned as a child. If you can't say something nice,than don't say anything at all.  .  Seems you have an allay in other family memebers and maybe she can help pave the way. Also talk to your mother in law. That is going to be tough.Tell your aunt  it is not OK and to treat others as you would like to be treated. And your hubby has to man up. He can't protect his sister at the expense of his own daughter.

[crossnlilly]

Thank you thats exactly how i feel. I keep telling him we r her voice but so far im the only one who speaks for her.

[nikkic30]

I agree with the other mom's. I will not put up with someone yelling at my son. I would and have let them know that that is not ok and to put a stop to it. I would also not go around her anymore with my son. In certain situations that will be unavoidable. But if you do not speak up she will think that is ok for her to do. Do not be mean but tell her you would appreciate it if she would not speak to you daughter unless she has something nice to say. And to let you know if she is doing something that she believes if wrong and that you will handle it. Stay firm and let her know those are the rules when it comes to YOUR daughter.

[crossnlilly]

Thank you all i am gonna try to be as nice as i can and if not i will just do what i did before and remove me and my kids from the situation.

[supermom246]

You are not the only one out their being stared at from ur kids acting like this. My older boy don't speak and my man's friends keep asking the same question and I get tired of the same questions. I tell his friends that my son don't like u guys so stop. But my son does speak he got his tongue clipped in 2010. He talks quiet and does sign language too. My other son is a fighter. Both boys got autism

[crossnlilly]

I just wish people could be more umderstanding. The truth is i would expect this behavior from kids not adults.

[nikkic30]

Kids learn that from adults and how adults treat each other. It is up to the adult to say no that is wrong. 

Here is an inspirational story about autism and a miracle.  have tissue ready

www.youtube.com/watch?v=vNZVV4Ciccg