Aspergers?

[gottalovemyboys]

 Hi! I am Brittney.

I am having my son, Hunter, evaluated.

He is 4 years and 3 and half months old.

He is currently under the care of the Dept of Special Education/School District Pscyhologist to be tested and I took him to his pediatrician today and she has referred us to a Pschyciatrist. It will take months to get him in with the Pschyciatrist but the Pscyhologist will have him tested within the month.

I just wanted to get some opinions from parents of children with Aspergers and let me know what you think of his behavior..

He has VERY frequent meltdowns. When he is not sleepy they are like these.. pretty calm but with odd behaviors and when he is sleepy they are more aggressive... alot more. He kicks and crys and screams... throws things and I have a hard time keeping him buckled if we are in the car. He has done that since he was almost 2.

This is the way his meltdowns ususally begin: He is fine.. then he starts to act sleepy.. then he gets whiny... then he gets defiant.. then he loses control and begins hitting himself, banging, throwing things, repeating himself. This meltdown was VERY mild.. I just wanted to show it because it shows how they usually manifest and this is when he is NOT sleepy.

This is before the meltdown. Just to show him normal...We left daycare and went to my mom's work right after this and he was confused. He thought we were going to her house. Once we got there he was dissappointed and didn't want her to touch him. He is almost always overwhelmed when we leave daycare now. At daycare, he is constantly banging on things and vocally stimming and then covering his ears when the class is at the table. He says his ears are trying to go to sleep bc they don't want to hear the sounds anymore. He has also been asking to play with the lights off in daycare. He just says it is more funner but he has been asking everyday.

This is when we left my mom's work. He is getting whiny and seems tired. He is not tired though.. then he begins to meltdown (at the end), I think losing control makes him feel exhausted.

This is when the meltdown has progressed. keep in mind, that nothing has changed. I cut the video up bc I thought if someone called my phone it would delete it but it doesn't .. lol. There are 5 videos of this meltdown but I only had time to upload 3 of them. This meltdown was over 30 min long but they do last much longer depending on how overwhelmed he is. Notice how he is hitting himself, playing with his ears.. those are all things he does everyday when he meltsdown or gets overwhelmed. Notice how he changes from calm to angry in seconds. This is not for attention. I normally do not pay any attention to these behaviors but I had to in order to get the videos for the dr. I let him watch these videos and when he saw him hitting himself, he said that is how I hurt myself.. so I said, does it hurt? he said no, it feels really good.

This was 2 Sundays ago. He began to meltdown about halfway through church bc his Lu Lu wasn't there and he had never been there without her. I was just emotional from going through all this and it being so bad that we had to leave. When he begins talking about the store.. there is no store in site. He is not acting this way bc of the store. He shows no empathy toward me at all. He never does, never has. Not to anyone.

This was last night. I think he is "stimming". I read that it is very common when they are sleepy... as he was in this video. He had a rough day... I have never seen him do it this bad before but he has always done it... I just didn't notice it as much. He pretty much did different variations of this all day bc he was so stressed out.

All of these behaviors are everyday things for us. Every day I notice something that I hadn't noticed before, or didn't realize was odd.

The special education department has already talked with me about sending him to a special education preschool as soon as they get the diagnosis.. They were very postive that this is not typical behavior for a child who is nearing 4 and half years old.

He also does not get sarcasm or humor. His idea of a joke is.. knock knock.. whos there.. stool (sitting in from him).. stool who.. stool - sink... hahhahahaha! He is not just being silly.. that is what he thinks a joke is. ( He has an 8 yr old brother who tells jokes all the time )

He also has always been obsessed with Tractors. Since he was 2, he has loved tractors. He even told me I had to call him John Deere for a while. Then along with the never changing tractors, he has obsessed over Reba Mcentire, Flamingos, Trucks, Dogs, his daddy, ect....

He also asks how everything works.. all the time! He once became obsessed over an answeing machine and how it worked..

He never makes eye contact with anyone, seems like he is out of it/staring off into space.. just spaced out most of the time.

He is very unpredictable in his feelings.. you never know if he is going to react over emotionally (saying no in a really sad, loud emotional voice and then running off to his in his room or a corner) or defiantly (saying no with an attitude) or emotionless (ignoring me completely) or being happy and compliant.. to asking him to do something or telling him no.

He is very uncoordinated and he has an amazing long term memory but a horrible short term memory.

He hates for his floor to be clear in his room but hates dust anywhere. For example, he does not play with the toys but he wants them in the floor. If I pick them all up, he puts them right back a few hours later for no apparent reason, except that he wants them there. He says he like it that way.

He sometimes gets upset if I don't go the way he wants to go but not always. He will spend the entire way trying to convince me to turn around and go the other way.

He hates to have his hair washed but LOVES having it cut in a salon.

He does not pretend play unless it is something he has seen before. The pscyhologist called it copying. He has a great imagination, he just can't act it out. He always finds a way to change it to something he has seen.

He gets super focused on things that interest him and if something breaks his focus, he will shove them or seem very frustrated but when you bring it to his attention that he just shoved them, he will say he is sorry.. but he doesn't say he is sorry bc he feels bad... he seems to say it bc he doesn't want to get into trouble.

He has also been super focused on staying somewhere and put himself in danger bc of it. He has tried to jump out of my car 3 times when he wanted to stay there.. BUT they were all in the driveway, once I got out onto the road, he never got close to the door... I do not belive he was trying to hurt himself. He was just so focused on staying and he thought if he could just get out, then he could stay. He did not process that he would get hurt. When I asked him what would happen, he said I would just grab the door and do a flip and land on my feet and go back in the house. The concept of danger never occured to him bc of his focus.

When I told his pediatrician this, she freaked out and said.. "autistic children do not try to jump out of moving cars".... well do they if they are hyperfocused?

Anyways...Thanks for taking the time to watch these and read all of this.. I know it is alot.. and trust me it is no where near as much as I am giving the dr and physcologist.. I just really need opinions.

[AngelaPatton]

Autistic children do so try to get out of cars. Most have no sense of danger. I would make sure he's in the middle of the back seat and the child safety locks are on both back doors.
I would ask the school district for an OT to evaluate him for sensory processing disorder

[dawncs]

It sounds like he is dealing with some sensory issues from how it sounds like at day care. I deal with sensory issues, and it can be pretty painful for me at times. I have gotten a few headaches from a sensory overload which ended when I got out of the situation. Can you suggest to them a quiet spot at the day care to help him if he has sensory overload or use headphones?

[nikkic30]

His meltdowns sound like something you would see in aspergers and autism. He also seems to have sensory issues with his ears and eyes. My son has extra sensitive hearing so too much noise or a crowded place is too much for him. Hair washing is also a huge issue since he screams like I am trying to kill him.  Make sure the child locks are on both doors as they do not understand they can get hurt until they get hurt. They think they are superman, Jump off of things. His doctor told me that he is not autistic but the school board and a child psychiatrist says he is. So many doctors so not see the whole picture.  When he has his meltdowns, put him in his room and tell him when he is ready he can come on out. As long as he is not hurting himself you can walk away and ignore him.  THey just need a moment to let all that pent up frustrations  out and that is the only way they can get it out.

[nikkic30]

you can start him on a good multi vitamin and a muli mineral vitamin and an Omega 3,6,9 suppliment. Does he drink a lot of milk? Try removing the milk from his diet and see how that helps? Milk to most kids is like crack. So behavioral issues come along with drink milk and eating dairy.  This is just a start but it should help a lot.  you can research more on this website i found http://www.generationrescue.com/ 

[Crocopooh]

Sounds like he has some sensory issues.  My son is diagnosed with aspergers and sensory issues.  We use the little ear plugs or put on headphones when he is overwhelmed with noise.  I am not judging you, just observing, in the one video with the song discussion.  I am sure you want to stick to the choices you gave him of a particular song but next time, it might be interesting to see how he reacts when you do turn off the radio. It may just be that the song, car noises and outside noises while driving were too much for him.  

His movements look like what my son does when he needs extra input to his body.  Also it goes the other way, he has a lot of energy and needs to get some of his energy out by moving.  Mine walks on his toes and skips or bounces to move a lot.  

On the video where you told him you were going to see grandma and he got upset when you went to her office and not her home, he was confused because he had grandma's house in his head.  It may help to show him with pictures where you are going ahead (a social story) or at least to sit for a minute beforehand and say, We are getting into the car, driving to see Grandma at her office where she works.  we will see her there.  We will eat lunch with her (or whatever you are doing) and then we will get back into the car and go to our house.  It often needs to be spelled out simply for the kids to understand/visualize.  

I am not a psychologist/psychiatrist but a lot of what you have shown I can relate to with my son.  Good luck with the diagnosis.  That will help you to get the correct therapies to help him and you to understand what needs to be worked on. I know it is difficult but it will help to know and get started with therapy.  You are doing a great job.  have a great weekend.  Keep us posted.

[gottalovemyboys]

Thank you so much for this reply. All of your suggestions are things that have worked before. One of the reasons I began to realize something was wrong was bc he was kicking and hitting and saying to turn the music off a few days before so I just turned it off... It was like a light switch. He immediately stopped and just looked out the window. Then he said, Hey momma and began to tell me something like nothing had happened.. So I left it on for the video to show the psychologist. He is so strong willed, that I wanted to make sure that she can see that the music is really bothering him... It's not just about control. She made a comment about him being inconsistent and that children with any form of autism is very consistent with what bothers them... But hunter is consistent when he is overwhelmed. He does have good days.. Thank goodness. On his good days when he is not so overwhelmed.. The things that bother him when he is, don't bother him as much. But he still changes his demeanor and acts agitated. I just hope they see what I see everyday living with him. I do have to spell out where we are going and why and what we will do once we get there to prevent a meltdown.. Showing him pictures is a great idea though! Thank you. I am going to get him some ear plugs and see if they help. I really appreciate everything you said.

Quoting Crocopooh:

Sounds like he has some sensory issues.  My son is diagnosed with aspergers and sensory issues.  We use the little ear plugs or put on headphones when he is overwhelmed with noise.  I am not judging you, just observing, in the one video with the song discussion.  I am sure you want to stick to the choices you gave him of a particular song but next time, it might be interesting to see how he reacts when you do turn off the radio. It may just be that the song, car noises and outside noises while driving were too much for him.  

His movements look like what my son does when he needs extra input to his body.  Also it goes the other way, he has a lot of energy and needs to get some of his energy out by moving.  Mine walks on his toes and skips or bounces to move a lot.  

On the video where you told him you were going to see grandma and he got upset when you went to her office and not her home, he was confused because he had grandma's house in his head.  It may help to show him with pictures where you are going ahead (a social story) or at least to sit for a minute beforehand and say, We are getting into the car, driving to see Grandma at her office where she works.  we will see her there.  We will eat lunch with her (or whatever you are doing) and then we will get back into the car and go to our house.  It often needs to be spelled out simply for the kids to understand/visualize.  

I am not a psychologist/psychiatrist but a lot of what you have shown I can relate to with my son.  Good luck with the diagnosis.  That will help you to get the correct therapies to help him and you to understand what needs to be worked on. I know it is difficult but it will help to know and get started with therapy.  You are doing a great job.  have a great weekend.  Keep us posted.

[mogadishukim]

I am an educator and a proud mother of one of each diagnosis: Autistic and Aspie.

All of the behavios that you cited were consistent with children on the autism spectrum. A developmental psychologist would be better at evaluating for autism than a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist would take individual self-injurious behaviors (hitting self) as indicators of a psychiatric disorder. Whereas the psychologist will attend to the totality of the behaviors: social, sensory seeking or aversion, communication, etc, and evaluate the child's patterns.  And yes, autistic children will do just about anything, like jumping out of cars, being unable to see the full consequences and only focussing on the present pain of the moment.  Head banging and other self-injurious behaviors are very common in autism.
"She made a comment about him being inconsistent and that children with any form of autism is very consistent with what bothers them... "

This is sooooo not true.  Just when you think you have a child's patterns down, they don't show up the same way on another occasion. That is the bio-chemistry mystery part of autism. There are chemical issues that are at the core of the behavioral issues, so food, environment and stimuli combine to create differing outcomes. Why are pre-school and elementary school kids wild when it is windy? No one knows for sure, but all seasoned teachers expect it.

A child with higher communication does not necessarily indicate aspergers, but Aspies biggest deficits are usually social norms, nuances and non-verbal communication. It is the age-inappropriate responses to sensory overload and stimulii that is indicating his likelihod of being on the autism spectrum somewhere. The jokes thing is more abstract, and that isn't a good indicator for anything at his young age.

My oldest son (21 y.o. Aspie) was so high functioning, that it wasn't until I read a book on autism in adolescence for dealing with my younger son that I saw that he too was on the spectrum. He was officially diagnosed with mild ADD at 13, but his difficult social issues and quirkiness and digestive sensitiivities were so great that ADD just didn't cover it all, but aspergers did. My son's early years did not indicate any issues other than a bright active boy. He was argumentative, but inquisitive. He was not prone to any melt-downs after age 2, and he was more likely to try and convince me of "his way" than to tantrum or cry. But, by age 10 we saw how socially behind, rigid and disliked he was amongst his peers everywhere. Now he has a wonderful group of nerdy friends that are gamers, and nice kids who played lego wars in high school and most all of them have fathers who are engineers and logical/analytical types. 

A diagnosis is a great thing, for it gives you access to services. Stay plugged in here and read, read, read, looking for specific topics about your most important behaviors that you want to begin tackling.

The best thing you can do now while you wait for diagnoses and services is to investigate the Gluten-free, casein free diet(GFCF). So many kids make amazing gains in areas of sensory overload by beginning to de-tox them from the foods that their peculiar chemistry cannot tolerate or digest fully.

Biomed Mamas of autistic children here on cafe moms will help address all the different diets, and natural approaches to maximize your child's physical, brain and digestive health. Each kid on the spectrum is different, with different areas of concern and differing strengths. No 2 are alike, but over 70% of parents surveyed reported an improvement in behavior after going GFCF, so it is a proven game changer for most kids.

Good luck and know that your verbal kid is so far ahead of the game that he shows great promise of growth and improvement in the behaviors as you begin to address them through OT, ABA, SIT and all the other acronyms that you will soon be fully engaging with. ABA can make a huge difference in such a high functioning child as you describe your son to be. Good on you for getting this addresseed early and not just seeing it as willfulness, or a senistive child.