It just really hit me today. I have a special needs child.

[TaraJanae]

TJ (8 years) finally got diagosed with Aspergers recently. Long ago, I suspected something but was denying it and just noticing the ADHD. His doctor at the time was the "I'll trust your judgement. Here's 4 different types meds for him. Next!". His doctor now really cares and doesn't just push pills. Anyway. So we've been trying to get him going with the school system, etc and so far so good. Then today he left his stuffed animals in the car on the way to school. School nurse called and I told her he doesn't need them. She said that his teacher said that if he didn't have them, he'll have a bad day in class. So I brought them down and he put them in his locker (no animals in the classroom) and he was fine.

That's when it really hit me. Wow. I'm still processing my thoughts. I guess he does need them. Now...I have to figure out what to do about his 6 year old brother. Cody might wonder why TJ gets special treatment. Understandable but I'm stumped on that. He might have some issues himself but I'm thinking ADHD for him. I don't think Cody has anything else. Trying to get TJ under control first.

Anyway, just sharing my thoughts...

[crossnlilly]

its normal. I was the same way sometimes i still am. As parents of children with special needs r normal is not the same as parents who dont have special needs children. I know for me lilly is totally normal lily. Buf then she will do something someone else notices and it hits me. But its ok thats our normal. Just remember our kids aint different they just see things differently. I have a 1 year old son and it does get hard cuz he doesnt understand why lily sits on the kitchen table or has her specisl toys only she plays with. But now its becoming his normal too. If lillys on thr table he knows she doesnt want to play. But as soon as she gets down he follows her everywhere. Remember we r all herefr i and understando

[ConnieHammer]

We are all special and we all have to find our own way to cope. As a parent you are discovering what works best to help each of your children - you are meeting both of their needs, just in different ways. As long as their needs are being met you should not have to worry about claims of "special treatment". 

[TaraJanae]

Just another reason to say "Forget trying to conform to society!" My mom tried installing that me ("What would others think? Nobody wants to hear that....", etc). and it just isn't my philosphy. I'm not one of those to defy authority just to  defy it. I'm the type to accept people no matter how they look or act. I put black fingernail polish on my kids before school one time because I wanted to. My mom thought I was killing them "You don't want kids to laugh at them!" I wouldn't dress my boys in skirts or pink so I do draw the line somewhere. Cody wanted to be Jessie from Toy Story (she's a girl if you don't know) and I wouldn't let him. But other than that, be what you want! But in some ways, you can't control how you act! (Aspergers for him, ADD for me). Everyone has special needs. Some people need other people to act just like them or they'll go crazy!

I have no idea how this post sounds to you all. As I mentioned, I have ADD and can't keep my thoughts straight. Tried typing something like this last night. Never got it to sound good enough (I usually don't have that much trouble) and I deleted it a couple times. So, um, I'm not trying to make it sound like "Woe is me" or "We're strange!" or anything. I'm still screwing this post up. LOL. Sorry. Hopefully it sounded decent to you all...

[AngelaPatton]

I spent 3 years trying to get my son diagnosd, but it was still very hard to hear it when it came. It takes a while to fully sink in.

[Unicorn1110]

        I remember the first time also like it was yesterday and its been almost 15 yrs. When he was 4 I knew he needed speech and was not ready for kindergarten. So took him through the school district to be evaluated and hoped, thought he would get speech and I could keep him home a yr to mature. Seems like in a blink of a eye was told he had autism. He was developmentally, speech ,emotionally, learning delayed plus mentally challenged.This was back in "98. In those days the dx was much dire than it is now. Plus I thought he could not be autistic as he spoke. So we started the rounds of all kinds of Dr. hoping for a different dx. Any way he started school that summer with a special needs school and in the fall another one. That Oct, he was invited to a class mates bd party for the first time. It was at a fun center with fair,video games,lots of lights, screaming children. Something we had never done before. He melted down  and so did I. Plus I was going through a divorce at the same time. My mother had to come and get me I was so shaken up and crying. I could not help him or my self. Watching him meltdown was my Ah ha moment.

    Things have changed. I remarried. We moved to Tenn where the schools are not as good as NY. In NY he was in a autism school. Shaun is now 19. He "graduated" and is working on going to a vo-tech  school. He has a school based job in the community for the past 2 yrs. He is still autistic of course. A child's IQ in a man's body. Its not been easy but that melted down spurnedme to get him more services and be his advocate all these yrs. We are still working on impulse control the most as he has a temper. Getting him to do more for himself. My job is not done but were farther along then we were.

[tabbyann700]

I fully understand. My son is 12 and was diagnosed at 11- took yrs for diagnosis r/t his other health issues (hx of epilepsy). It fully hit me that he is special needs when he attempted to jump out of the car on his first day of middle school and they had to assign an adult ( and later a buddy) to take him to his classes cuz he was so overwhelmed and still getting lost after 2wks.