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What they Didn't Tell Me About My Child's Autism ... MUST READ .............

Posted by on Mar. 28, 2012 at 8:00 PM
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What They Didn't Tell Me About My Child's Autism...
Here are some things you will not find in your research on autism:

You will not learn how this diagnosis will affect your marriage or other members of your family. You will not be told how it may fundamentally alter your perceptions of what is "normal," how it may ch...ange your view of human beings, how it can force you to question small talk and why we behave the way we do, how it will transform your outlook on life, how it will change you, how your life and everything you assumed to be true, is no longer what you thought.

Having a child with autism may cause you to feel things you never dreamed possible. You may know moments of joy and moments of despair you could not have imagined. You may find yourself going to untold lengths in the hope of helping your child. You may feel distracted, unable to concentrate. Your work and career may suffer. You may learn what it is to be sleep deprived. You will come to know what it means to feel desperation. You will know sorrow in a way no one can prepare you for. You will know happiness in a way no one can prepare you for. Sometimes you may feel both sorrow and happiness within the same day, within the same hour, within the same minute.

You may spend money you do not have on yet another treatment, yet another doctor, yet another specialist, yet another therapy, yet another intervention, all the while rationalizing that if it helps, it will all be worth it. You may contemplate doing things you would have scoffed at before your child was diagnosed. You may find yourself trying things that defy logic and have no medical basis. You may listen to implausible, anecdotal stories and think -- we will try that next. You may dream your child is speaking to you in full, complex, beautifully self aware and revealing sentences. You may wake from those dreams believing for a few seconds they were real and not a dream. You will pray that you might dream again. You will welcome sleep, as you never believed possible. You may ache with sadness because your child is crying and in pain and your presence brings them no solace. That ache may become unbearable when your child hits themselves in the face, bites their own arm or hand, punches their own legs or stomach. You may question every maternal instinct you have.

You may feel ecstasy from being hugged, unprompted. You may feel the exquisite joy from having your child reach for you, ask for you or look at you. You may know the joy that comes from seeing your child work so hard at something that does not come easily to them. You may celebrate when they use the bathroom unaided, drink from a cup, sleep for more than a few hours without waking you, try a new food or simply acknowledge your presence. You may feel a gratitude you would not have believed possible. You may cry from happiness when they say a word, any word, even if you are the only person who can understand what the word is. You will know what it is to appreciate commonplace things -- eye contact, the correct use of the word "me," "you" and "I," physical contact initiated by your child, a word, any word spoken or a smile.

You will feel a fierce love for your child that seems to come from a place that is not of this world. You will know what it is to love unconditionally and you will understand what that really means.

What have you learned that no one was able to tell you in your research of autism?

- Ariane Zurcher via huffingtonpost.com
by on Mar. 28, 2012 at 8:00 PM
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myfirstborn04
by on Mar. 28, 2012 at 8:19 PM
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Thank you for sharing! Yes, this absolutely true. I wish others would understand all we go through and how one simple word as autism can change your life in everyway. Your child has autism. Is what they told me. Get him evaluated by the school right away. Here's a script for ot, speech and physical therapies. I must have missed the part where they say this is what it will be like and you will feel this way and it will cost this much, etc!
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nicksmom217
by Member on Mar. 28, 2012 at 9:09 PM
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   how isolated you  can became, that you have more patients then you thought possible, parenting will be very  different with a lot of imagination, that you can became psychologist with out going to school, that you're stronger then any man, that your child is very smart, intelligent and possesses a lot of creativity, that he-can learn, if given the chance., that you will spent more time on computer, then you ever  wanted to, that sleep will happens when you're dead. every thing you knew about your life before was not is meaningful, is now, when your child    achieves success..

MommyJanice44
by Head Admin on Mar. 28, 2012 at 9:25 PM
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I have learned that to never listen to the professional !!!! they were wrong ......... Learned to not worry myself sick over the little things due to they all took care of themselves .. With the help of some wonderful teachers' & aids who knew what they were doing QUOTE when he was younger before they screwed him up OOPS sorry but they did .. He is now taking a shower on his own with the little bit help from me , he was non verbal until the age of 7 , he is now beginning to comprehend life , never ever did i think any of this was ever possible .. I Too have learned to follow that gut instincts always they never will lead you astray .. THIS IS MY LIFE TO T' .... every single word is me or this is close to   my life its' scary lol  .. I loved  this .. UNCONDITIONAL LOVE .. PATIENCE , TOLERANCE , FAITH , HOPE , HEALING .. p.s Going out of my ever loving mind some days too ..........  

Leelee616
by New Member on Mar. 29, 2012 at 9:44 AM
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Janice,

I could not have worded it any better. Thank you!!! Thank you!!! for putting into words near exactly how I feel and relate to the child I birthed and am raising!!! I can say that when you receive diagnosis you are stripped of your own ideals and blue print of how you were going to raise your child!! I pray that us parents are one day told the truth as to the real reasons our children regressed into autism.

Lisa

kykeyu
by Member on Mar. 29, 2012 at 12:48 PM
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  What have I learned? I have learned that the people I always thought I could count on no matter what are pretty creative in making excuses to not be there when I need them. That was a devastating lesson, and it's still hard. 

   And I have learned that even when I think I don't have any more to give... I do. Not sure where it comes from but I find that I have the ability to dig a little deeper within myself and face whatever may come.

MommyJanice44
by Head Admin on Mar. 29, 2012 at 1:02 PM
1 mom liked this

 

Quoting Leelee616:

Janice,

I could not have worded it any better. Thank you!!! Thank you!!! for putting into words near exactly how I feel and relate to the child I birthed and am raising!!! I can say that when you receive diagnosis you are stripped of your own ideals and blue print of how you were going to raise your child!! I pray that us parents are one day told the truth as to the real reasons our children regressed into autism.

Lisa

 Hi Lisa , yah the rates are very devastating to say the least , here is a chart that shows the climbing increase of autism .. WHY HUMM Should I even go there .......... Vaccines & a number of Genetic predisposed cases' too .. This was given to me bye MamaRita the Group Owner ... Who Grandson Lane was Vaccine Injured ...

A little perspective. And please spread the word.

1 in 10,000 in the 1980's
1 in 500 in 2000
1 in 250 in 2002
... 1 in 166 in 2004
1 in 150 in 2007
1 in 110 in 2010
1 in 88 in 2012

If that's not damning enough, keep in mind the lady figure is inaccurate as a current rate. The bean counters used statistics reflective of children born in the year 2000. What's worse is data was gathered to reflect the last figure in 2008. Allow me to remind you....its 2012.

And remember...polio was considered epidemic when the numbers were 1 in 2,700. Which leads me to my next question...why hasn't Big Brother called AUTISM AN EPIDEMIC?!



MommyJanice44
by Head Admin on Mar. 29, 2012 at 1:13 PM
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I have also learned that each day that go's by i too find that strength inside that I never thought id have .. As for the Friends yes yes yes !! Learned that no matter how mad I do get when he comes up to me and gives me a hug my heart melts over all the anger i had just had for him ... I have also learned that to blame myself for him acting out still working on this one , have to remind myself daily that it isn't anything I did to cause his meltdowns it is simply his autism .... HUGS THIS IS PRETTY POWERFUL HUH ??/ 

stillstandin246
by Member on Mar. 29, 2012 at 3:57 PM
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 How it will forever affect every relationship you have and how you view those around you, how it will affect how you parent your other kids, how it changes the way you react to and see everything, from the lights in Walmart to a rainbow to how mean people can be, how you will learn things about others that you wouldn't have known had you not been in this situation.   And the lengths you will go to in order to show the "professionals"..."no my child is NOT ok"...a place you never thought you'd be and something you never imagined you would fight for--how "not normal" your child is and how much they need help.  And how you will become able to interpret and tell the difference between a tantrum meltdown and an autistic meltdown as well as be able to see that in other people.

Apple1
by Head Admin on Mar. 29, 2012 at 6:02 PM
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I have learned to treasure even the smallest things that my son Owen does, whether it's a smile, a kiss, a hug, learning something new, such as drinking out of a cup, clapping his hands, trying to put on his own shoes or coat...all big accomplishments, and all so easily taken for granted.  I too, have learned to have strength even when I thought I couldn't take any thing more, I made it ok...Remember that God never gives one more then they can handle.  Also, to take risks, to try new things to help my son, sometimes we have to step outside the box and dig down deep even if it scary to try something new like a new medicine or supplement...you never know, it may be exactly what your child needs to start feeling better.  And to love with no bounds...to love knowing they need you and depend on you...to love them unconditionally, to know that you would give your life for them, do anything you could to help them be all they can be.

MommyJanice44
by Head Admin on Mar. 29, 2012 at 9:00 PM
1 mom liked this

 

Quoting Apple1:

 

I have learned to treasure even the smallest things that my son Owen does, whether it's a smile, a kiss, a hug, learning something new, such as drinking out of a cup, clapping his hands, trying to put on his own shoes or coat...all big accomplishments, and all so easily taken for granted.  I too, have learned to have strength even when I thought I couldn't take any thing more, I made it ok...Remember that God never gives one more then they can handle.  Also, to take risks, to try new things to help my son, sometimes we have to step outside the box and dig down deep even if it scary to try something new like a new medicine or supplement...you never know, it may be exactly what your child needs to start feeling better.  And to love with no bounds...to love knowing they need you and depend on you...to love them unconditionally, to know that you would give your life for them, do anything you could to help them be all they can be.

 cryingTHAT TOUCHED MY HEART .. WOW .. SO TRUE ..

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