Really need some help

[7blessings001]

My son is not yet diagnosed but I think any advice from someone who has been there, done that will help.  We are really having trouble with our son.  He is 5 and he gets into everything.  We have put locks on our bedroom, closet, and our pantry.  We had to put something on our refridgerator to keep it locked up.  The older boys have a lock on their door as well as the closet.  He pulls out all of our towels on a constant basis and get them soaking wet and stashes them somewhere.  I found my bank I throw all my change into under my bed.  My husband has a 3DS (yes, he still enjoys them) that my son has taken 2 times now even though we have gotten on to him.  

Also, his temper tantrums seems to be getting worse.  Today he wanted milk and I told him he could not have it but he can have some water and he went off the deep end.  He started biting himself, hitting himself, screaming.  I don't have a clue how to go about disciplining him.  We have had no help or any guidance on how to handle a child like this.  We love him so much but find ourselves getting increasingly frustrated.  My husband thinks he has gotten worse since he got home from grandma's house.  She says she never has problems at her house.  Could it be that when he gets home there is too much sensory overload for him because we have a large family.  My 3 year old daughter was recently hospitalized and my dad took care of 4 kids while my mom stayed at the hospital with me.  This was the 1st time my dad had trouble with him.  He got in their pantry and found pop tarts and cereal and ate the pop tarts and stashed the cereal behind the toilet of all places.  

We don't know what to do and any advice given would be greatly appreciated.

Stacy

[Kate00]

Any ideas why he is doing those things?  Might give you a clue how to handle it.  Is he bored?  Trying to get your attention?  Maybe he needs more structured activities with you, especially if he's trying to get your attention.  Can you make up a box of things that's for him only and he knows it's for him that he can't get into trouble with?

Those are the first things that came to my mind.

[mrs.ed.griffith]

Wow. I don't know your personal situation to every detail, but maybe he does need more individual time with you. I know you haven't gotten him diagnosed with anything yet, but it does sound like it's possible that it is autism. Do you have a specific routine for anything with him that may have been interrupted with everything that's going on lately with your daughter? Children thrive on predictability and a lack in such can cause meltdowns and behaviors such as what you've noted here. I know it's extremely hard to balance your time between (i think you said you have 3?) multiple children in the home. Try to see the light in all of it, like how you said he is pretty much nonverbal... well, this is kind of a way he is letting you know some of the things he wants. It's really hard to pick the brain of a child who is nonverbal, trust me, my son is extremely limited in his speech development. We've started a parenting class called project impact... if you get him diagnosed with autism, definitely sign up for it. I've been to one meeting so far and they started out by telling us a great way to develop his language, it's called interactive teaching techniques, is to create a space for you two to play and help him learn to communicate with each other. (such as building a tent in your living room, using the bathtub, or moving around furniture to create a more intimate space for you two to interact with each other.) Choose a few of his favorite toys and set them only for this special playtime with the two of you. So for example, if the two of you are playing with toy cars, and you put your car in front of his... he makes a gesture that he wants you to move your car. So you move your car (showing that his communication is meaningful) and then say the word move. They say to do the interactive playing for like 15 minutes a day and of course to try to incorporate it into other things you're already doing, like at lunch when he gestures or whatever to let you know he wants some juice. You show him the juice, then say "juice" and give it to him. That's just one example of what they told us, and this was our first class so I'll definitely let you know how it turns out for us. If you want to, look me up on facebook. (Melissa Griffith. My profile picture is a baby with sweet potatoes on his face in a pooh car seat.) I am not super experienced in this area but it seems like I might be able to offer you at least a little bit of insight and some advice!  Best of luck with everything, and try not to get overwhelmed. There's support out there, you just gotta know where to look. :)