Identifying Him is taking so long and I'm tired
I guess I just need to vent a little. My son Jathan is almost 8 years old, seems like he's really 4 years old and after all that I've looked up, researched and discussed with others firmly believe that he is somewhere on the autism spectrum. Even if it is mild, it's seems to be the only thing that explains my sweet boy. He has been calm the last few days but I think that it has to do with the fact that I have been home. The kids are all out of school and he can't handle the lack of structure to summer break. My other children are fed up and have begun to make fun of him or tease him when he has a melt down and that only makes the situation much worse. My daughter, who is younger than him seems to be aware of the fact that she is now more mature than he is. The 2 of them used to be attached to each other partly due to the fact that he could control her and her words to fit into his "play" and she was too little to care. Now she has changing views on play and activities and his "play" has been the same since I can remember him actually wanting to touch a toy. My oldest has always been ahead of his time and is very silly and creative but can't figure out how to interact with a child that needs things his way all the time and cries and screams bloody murder every 20 minutes. If he talks gently and carefully to Jathan then sometimes he can calm him or change the circumstances just a little so that Jathan can dial it down a notch. If he offers for him to vacuum, for example, Jathan will change gears from whatever he didn't get his way with to whatever calms him in the act of vacuuming. While I work my oldest watches the 2 of them and considering that Jathan has different needs this is not ideal, but as a single mom daycare during the summer is not an option. I've been back and forth with the schools and doctors and each time they assess him for a max of 30 minutes and decide that he is too social because he made eye contact which a child with autism will not do. I have heard from too many other moms that yes while a child with moderate to severe autism may be incapable of making eye contact children with mild autism can make eye contact although briefly and sometimes awkwardly. Jathan will make eye contact and it seems its to check in with whoever he is talking to that he is okay, its almost anxious when he looks at you. That or he is having a meltdown over something his sibling did and then during his screaming he will look at me to make me understand that he is right and things should be his way no matter how wrong he is, but even then he screams his demand then usually folds into a ball or becomes a stiff board with every muscle in his body stretched to its limit as he screams his head off because it was his turn to feed the cat or someone sat in his spot on the couch. But no one at school sees this Jathan, no doctor has seen this Jathan. He holds it together during his classes. I think because his class schedule is so structured and at home no matter how structured I try to make it it doesn't work that way. When he knows what the day is supposed to look like he does so much better. I just don't know where to turn now because he needs help and I can't give it to him. He has begun to see a psychologist and all I can do is pray that she sees some of what I see. Even if she determines that he has something else, as long as it explains why he is the way that he is and helps me get him the help that he needs that is so much better than being told once again "maybe he's just sensitive" or "he'll grow out of it". If any moms out there know of any other avenues for testing please let me know. I'm just at the end of my rope and so tired.