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I am just so tired.  Two of my kids were just recently diagnosed with autism.  They both need aba therapy of which I cannot afford and frankly they are driving me nuts.  I feel terrible for saying that but at this time I have one who is pushing the laundry basket in circles and one who is sitting on the couch having a melt down because he is just now realizing he is missing his glasses after 4 hours.  I had to call the poison control today because my son thought he would try out some greenworks which he climbed onto the washer and got to the very top shelf (we have 9 ft ceilings) to get.  I thought they were high enough.  They completely destroy my house every day.  I clean it up and in less than two hours these two destroy it.  I have no clue how to discipline them.  Everything I read is behavior modification but it doesn't really tell me how to do it.  I read to make a communication chart but no suggestions on how.  I feel I have no support and frankly my friends really have no clue what I am going through.  I know this sounds calloused but at church everyone rallies around the girl we have that has cancer (as well they should, I pray for her everyday) but no one seems to understands the amount of stress we are under.  No, our children aren't ill but we are dealing with something that very much rips at the fabric of our very family.  I asked my developmental pediatrician his thought on my oldest (13) because of his anger, and eccentricities and when I went down the long list of what we see in him (I'm think add or something like that) and he says it sounds like asperger's to him of course he would have to evaluate him.  I never really though about it but I do see the narrow interest and a lot of oddities he does along with no friends and such.   I am 100% convinced my husband has aspergers and he is convinced of it too.  His dad fits the profile as well.  On top of it my 2 year daughter is starting to tip toe and no one can seem to make her smile the majority of the time. She could freeze hell over though with the looks she does give.  She doesn't liked to be touched most of the time.  I am trying not to be paranod about it.  I feel I am falling into a deep depression.  I find myself going to get something from the store all the time so I can have peace and quiet.  I don't even like coming home.  Am I making too big a deal about this?  I know I just need to move on and stop being such a cry baby.


Thanks for letting me vent

by on Sep. 9, 2012 at 8:36 PM
Replies (31-32):
marcie1455
by New Member on Jan. 1, 2013 at 11:10 PM

You are normal based on such a unique situation. We can relate to what you are saying.  I can especially relate to the part of escaping to the store. Dealing with our situations are Rough, just know that you are not alone.  I am on medication for depression at the current time.  I'm not sure if its doing any good or not.  There are days when I feel just plain tired!  Hang on in there mama and vent here.  Releasing is a good thing!  I don't know where I would be without my fellow iron moms!

lancet98
by New Member on Jan. 3, 2013 at 6:32 PM

 

No, you are NOT being a cry baby and NO, you do not 'move on' with this sort of worries and suddenly become a bionic supermom!

It IS tough having autistic kids and having more than one is not twice the fun - it's a lot of work, even if the rewards are great.   You have a perfect right to feel overwhelmed and confused.

And you need more than therapeutic shopping to keep YOU in good shape.   You're an important part of the team plus you are a person and a human being and you need to continue to be a person too and it is VERY important that you get support and time to rest.  

A break with a friend or relative is not at all a bad idea - hard to arrange, but worthwhile. 

And actually, from my experience, the parents who are flogging themselves totally to death and insisting they have no needs of their own and must keep at it every single second, 24/7/365, and that despite obvious signs of depression, have no needs, actually deal with things less well than the parent who wants a little bit of balance in their life - the occasional lunch with a friend, time to talk about books, movies, a little break.   That's awfully hard to get, especially if one is on one's own and has limited funds, but however a parent can swing it, it's a good thing to try and get.

How about the kid's dad?   How is he involved at this point?   Is he helping, trying to figure out how to help?

You can get support and help from numerous different programs and agencies, I would start with your pediatrician and ask him for some resources to contact, that's a good spot to start.   There is help.

Also, there are even a lot of online resources so you can SEE helps like floortime and ABA in action.  It's been proven that autistic kids can learn when the approach is taylored to them and I bet you can do that.

Quoting 7blessings001:

I am just so tired.  Two of my kids were just recently diagnosed with autism.  They both need aba therapy of which I cannot afford and frankly they are driving me nuts.  I feel terrible for saying that but at this time I have one who is pushing the laundry basket in circles and one who is sitting on the couch having a melt down because he is just now realizing he is missing his glasses after 4 hours.  I had to call the poison control today because my son thought he would try out some greenworks which he climbed onto the washer and got to the very top shelf (we have 9 ft ceilings) to get.  I thought they were high enough.  They completely destroy my house every day.  I clean it up and in less than two hours these two destroy it.  I have no clue how to discipline them.  Everything I read is behavior modification but it doesn't really tell me how to do it.  I read to make a communication chart but no suggestions on how.  I feel I have no support and frankly my friends really have no clue what I am going through.  I know this sounds calloused but at church everyone rallies around the girl we have that has cancer (as well they should, I pray for her everyday) but no one seems to understands the amount of stress we are under.  No, our children aren't ill but we are dealing with something that very much rips at the fabric of our very family.  I asked my developmental pediatrician his thought on my oldest (13) because of his anger, and eccentricities and when I went down the long list of what we see in him (I'm think add or something like that) and he says it sounds like asperger's to him of course he would have to evaluate him.  I never really though about it but I do see the narrow interest and a lot of oddities he does along with no friends and such.   I am 100% convinced my husband has aspergers and he is convinced of it too.  His dad fits the profile as well.  On top of it my 2 year daughter is starting to tip toe and no one can seem to make her smile the majority of the time. She could freeze hell over though with the looks she does give.  She doesn't liked to be touched most of the time.  I am trying not to be paranod about it.  I feel I am falling into a deep depression.  I find myself going to get something from the store all the time so I can have peace and quiet.  I don't even like coming home.  Am I making too big a deal about this?  I know I just need to move on and stop being such a cry baby.

 

Thanks for letting me vent

 

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