I am just so tired. Two of my kids were just recently diagnosed with autism. They both need aba therapy of which I cannot afford and frankly they are driving me nuts. I feel terrible for saying that but at this time I have one who is pushing the laundry basket in circles and one who is sitting on the couch having a melt down because he is just now realizing he is missing his glasses after 4 hours. I had to call the poison control today because my son thought he would try out some greenworks which he climbed onto the washer and got to the very top shelf (we have 9 ft ceilings) to get. I thought they were high enough. They completely destroy my house every day. I clean it up and in less than two hours these two destroy it. I have no clue how to discipline them. Everything I read is behavior modification but it doesn't really tell me how to do it. I read to make a communication chart but no suggestions on how. I feel I have no support and frankly my friends really have no clue what I am going through. I know this sounds calloused but at church everyone rallies around the girl we have that has cancer (as well they should, I pray for her everyday) but no one seems to understands the amount of stress we are under. No, our children aren't ill but we are dealing with something that very much rips at the fabric of our very family. I asked my developmental pediatrician his thought on my oldest (13) because of his anger, and eccentricities and when I went down the long list of what we see in him (I'm think add or something like that) and he says it sounds like asperger's to him of course he would have to evaluate him. I never really though about it but I do see the narrow interest and a lot of oddities he does along with no friends and such. I am 100% convinced my husband has aspergers and he is convinced of it too. His dad fits the profile as well. On top of it my 2 year daughter is starting to tip toe and no one can seem to make her smile the majority of the time. She could freeze hell over though with the looks she does give. She doesn't liked to be touched most of the time. I am trying not to be paranod about it. I feel I am falling into a deep depression. I find myself going to get something from the store all the time so I can have peace and quiet. I don't even like coming home. Am I making too big a deal about this? I know I just need to move on and stop being such a cry baby.
Thanks for letting me vent