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Social interaction

Posted by on Nov. 25, 2012 at 8:00 PM
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My daughter had a friend over for a play date & all they did was fight the entire time. Anything the other girl did/said set my dd off. I mean anything. My dd has a hard time playing w/ her peers, won't share, & is very bossy.  I don't know how you can teach these skills to kids w/ ASD/Aspbergers. Any suggestions? I'm afraid that she's not going to establish any friendships throughout her lifetime. She's 8yrs old. It's w/ other children also, not only just this girl.

by on Nov. 25, 2012 at 8:00 PM
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kajira
by on Nov. 26, 2012 at 3:55 AM

If you can't figure it out, you may need outside intervention. I'm an autistic adult who just had NO desire to interact with kids my own age, so I tended to ignore them and play by myself, my son's autistic and is like your daughter, aruges, bosses them around.

What we did is hand select a couple of kids who will be patient with our son's wiring and stand up for themselves. we intervene and tell our son that if he can't play nice and let them play their way and talk about something instead of aruging, he can go have a time out until he can figure it out.

We encourage the other kids to pick topics that interst my son to get him talking then have our son practice listening to their favorite topics, even if they don't interest him.

We HAVE to mediate at this point, with out intervention and explaining to our son exactly what it should look like, he just gets fed up and bosses them around. When he gets bossy, we tell him to stop and that's not how you play with other kids, that he has to just let them do it their way and do it his way.

It's time consuming, but with out teaching him HOW it should look, he can't do it.

And to be honest, I didn't have a huge desire to have friends as a kid  - as a teen, I had friends because I had a hobby that was social (i.e. video games with competitions in person where you sit around together and try to beat each other at a game.)

As an adult, I have friends because I have kids and I have an autistic son and I have friends mostly with special needs kids, it gives us something to talk about and we can relate to each other.

To be frank, Quality is more important to me than quantity, and I'm still never someone who's gone bar hopping or feel like I missed out doing the normal things other people did growing up. I just wanted to do my thing, not what society expected of me.

Just because you want your kiddo to have friends, sometimes, your idea of friends and their idea won't mesh up and it may take reaching adult hood before she finds like-minded friends she actually gets along with.

you can teach as many social skills as you like and they may not make friends until they find the *right* friends.


Riparoo
by New Member on Nov. 26, 2012 at 6:53 AM

Thanks for the insight. 

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