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Aspie Mom Needs Help

Posted by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 12:00 AM
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Hello everyone..  I am new to the group and looking for help advice ideas..  whatever we can get..

My daughter is 8 years old and seems for the past month we have started having major meltdowns and more often.. She seems as though she is going back to when she was 4 years old and they are lasting for hours.. She is self injurious with scratching and clawing and banging her head.. And the words that come out of her mouth are so hateful. She yells and screams and cries the entire time..  Tonight 2 1/2 hours.  We know she doesn't mean what she says and does and she is always upset when she finally comes out of them but trying to keep her safe and keep her from harming herself, damaging the walls and furniture for hours is exhausting.. We put her in the middle of the floor and she tries to rip up the carpet or moves to the walls and furniture... Sometimes I feel some of it is for attention??? But most of the time I feel she has no control..

Any ideas advice.. would be so appreciated.. It seemed easier when she was younger or I have just forgotten.. I mean she still has had them from time to time but not to this extreme and the self injury stuff actually disappeared for the most part for several years..
Is it the age?? I'm lost.. He's in the garage with headphones on trying to regroup and I'm hear trying to find out what we should do??? We are both exhausted and mentally drained..
by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 12:00 AM
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Replies (1-5):
mizkriz73
by New Member on Dec. 5, 2012 at 12:25 AM
She could be starting puberty. My ds got worst when he started. We were at our wits end with him. Perhaps talking to her dr might help.
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jthompson1976
by Member on Dec. 5, 2012 at 12:38 AM

hi i have 9 year old daugther and seems like every thing got worse at age 8.   they told me its hormones    they started her on intuniv durning the day and ansity pill at night witch helps her mooods and sleeping

WarriorMum
by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 7:57 AM

Hi

Our children start puberty earlier than others..sounds like her hormones are kicking in. The poor wee poppet must be crawling out of her skin at the moment. By the sounds of it, you have a typical teenager wrapped up in a little body with no other way off expressing herself. Is it possible to talk your Doctor into hormonal treatment to delay the onset of puberty to give you time to be prepared?

My son is 18 years old...and thankfully we are out the other end of this. I won't lie and say it was easy..it drove me nearly to the brink of that place I never want to go to mentally...I survived and so will you. Being prepared makes a huge difference as you know now that it more than likely is her hormones. So, should you get them delayed for a year or so, (would highly recommend it) you have the time to work out a strategy that works for  your family. You will learn the signs that you can preempt when you see her triggers. You will have time to learn what works best for you. I know it cant be frustrating when responses to questions are ambiguous ( don't know about you, but for me it was very frustrating as no-one could give me a straight answer) as each child is very different, you are her Expert. You know what she is like, you know what she can tolerate, you know what can soothe her..

Is there anyone who can take for an hour or two to give you time to simply breathe?

kissingirl
by New Member on Dec. 7, 2012 at 10:48 PM

My 7 1/2 yr old daughter, has autism. and meltdowns.. not self injurious... but she will say things that I know she doesn't mean and she keeps repeating a phrase of don't touch me..I know she heard this phrase in her video game from grand theft auto.. but with autism they repeat often.   She used to love when I gave her a hug and kiss and now I hear don't touch me..or when she is in the car sitting between her brother and my boyfriend while my other son is in the front seat..   She keeps saying don't touch me..we have to remind her that the back seat is kind of small and my oldest son is almost 6 feet tall..  In public places she will at times without me expecting it..holler out for no reason.      I can give one bit of advice that I tried which calms her down... counting down from 10 to 1..and then again from 20 to 1...She loves counting.. I count with her.   You can try that.. I hope we can keep in touch on here if you'd like.. My name is Stacy from Bucks County Pennsylvania...

mogadishukim
by Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 4:13 PM
1 mom liked this

http://www.danasview.net/sibbite.htm

http://www.danasview.net/asrecovr.htm

From the above website:

"Any diet infraction consistently resulted in a bright red bottom, atypical behavior, and wetting. Behaviors lasted one to three days and consisted of unexplained anger, aggression, sound intolerance and/or unresponsiveness. Usually the behavior pattern was a day of lethargy and unresponsiveness followed by two days of anger and aggression, with sound intolerance throughout. Additionally, a diet infraction was usually followed by red ears."


The next site:

Self-Injurious Behavior

Written by Stephen M. Edelson, Ph.D.

http://legacy.autism.com/families/siblings/sib_org.htm


So....in Dana's View, much of this kind of behavior was corrected by diet and enzymes and zinc and other supplements.

In Eddleston's article, he sees this self-injurous portion of the behavior as having many different causes.

Dana's View site has some amazing information and you can do a word search on the Home page of the site for specific topics, like "anger" or "self-injury:  That is what I did to find this info for you.

I hope you find help soon.  In the meantime, epsom salt baths with 2 cups for at least 20 minutes, L-theanine and Inositol are all relaxants and good for anxiety/fear portion of the anger/behaviors.

Hormones do change everything, even in neurotypical kids. As a middle school teacher the parents would continuously be caught off gaurd when there little angels became angry and disrespectful.
So, your daughter, who has less self-regulatory skills because of her peculiar autistic chemistry, is more likely to begin changes associated with the maturation. But diet and exercise and supplements and enzymes and yeast control can have a PROFOUND impact on these. 
Also, PANDAS, the strep associated inflammation common with kids on the spectrum can also trigger these episodic aggressions. Worth investigating with your doctor, having some labs to screen for strep.

I know you must be exhausted.  So sorry that this is taking such a toll on your family.  You will get through this and you will for some answers for what works with your daughter.

Currently my 18 year old has been in an angry phase this week. Don't know what is causing it either, but I suspect food, food dyes or virus that's going around. Along with his anger he has been actually MORE cognitively aware. Mixed bag, these kiddos.

Hang in there.

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