My son Ian is almost 12 and over 100 pounds, with a history of violence towards me. He doesn't beat me up anymore since I moved him out of school and into the respite center. He doesn't hit the aunties, nor scream at them, nor throw tantrums there. His auntie called this morning while I was trying to stop him from knocking the TV off the stand. She heard him screaming at me, and throwing chairs over. He was mad because I stopped him from putting more sugar and chocolate into his tea. The auntie was surprised, said I should hit him back hard when he hits me. That never worked with Ian. He was 4 and hitting me back. He also figured he could hit me if he was angry with me. So I don't hit him now. He is also mostly nonverbal. I sometimes don't know what set him off, he's too big and worked up to cuddle and rock. Meds take time to kick in. The auntie said I should take self defense. I did think of it before. I mentioned it to my mother just now and of course she doesn't like the idea. My other 2 sons are karate kids. Mom doesn't like that either but they protect me from Ian. So what do you guys think? I'm just 6 inches taller than him now and about 30 pounds heavier and he gets the better of me all the time. His auntie thinks my whole attitude adjustment would deter him from taking me on. Suggestions guys? He may have to live with me for life. :( I'm not gonna be a helpless old woman.