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Hitting and Discipline

Posted by on Dec. 25, 2014 at 9:47 PM
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My son has a lot of behaviors that I'd like to correct, but there is only one really worrisome one.  He sometimes slaps people in the face.  He doesn't do it all the time, usually only when he is tired or over-excited.  He is aware that he is doing something he shouldn't as he has been told and understands, and he also giggles in a way that he only does when he is doing something bad.  I have a one year old and another baby on the way as well.  He has never hit his sister, but it is something I would like to stop before he becomes a danger to her, or to the unborn child (and also because he should not be hitting people).

I have never used spanking as a form of discipline with him before but did it for the first time yesterday when he hit me.  He seemed to understand to an extent, but he hit me again today and the spanking seemed less effective.  I also told him both times that I would spank him if he hit me again before I did it, and that what he did was wrong and had to stop when I spanked him.  Nonetheless, I am wondering if anyone has experience with discipling a child on the spectrum for this behavior, what they did and how well it worked?  I don't really think hitting a child for hitting someone is the best message in the world, but it is also an urgent matter.

by on Dec. 25, 2014 at 9:47 PM
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Replies (1-10):
whitepointer
by Member on Dec. 27, 2014 at 2:22 AM
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Well my 4 year old grandaughter hits, slaps people in the face , bites and scratches. It is really worrying. My daughters social worker ect told her when she hits someone, ie her brother to make a big fuss over him and ignore her so she gets the message that she isnt going to get attention from it. She recently hit a lady in the face at the chemist who was just waiting for a script. What you do there, I dont know. I get hit and bitten if I make her do something she isnt ready to do. The first day my GD was at a orientation day for her 4 year old pre school she hit a boy in the face just for the fun of it. He didnt react. I think you may have to see a autism professional to get pointers off them . We are very new to this autism diagnosis and are just getting over the shock of that. Personally I wish she didnt have it.

Apple1
by Head Admin on Dec. 27, 2014 at 3:12 AM
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Hugs momma.  If my son does something he knows is wrong...we usually will sit him in a chair where he has to sit in time out for a few minutes with no toys etc.  This does help.  Also wondering if your son is having any issues with pain?  Do you know why he is hitting you?  Have you ever tried the GFCF diet with him?  Gluten and dairy can cause behavioral issues that can cause them to have more melt downs, act out etc.  If you haven't tried this I would highly recommend it.  Also, wonderful group here on cafemom called the biomed momma's group.  Hugs.

havay
by New Member on Dec. 28, 2014 at 1:20 PM
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I can't find the biomed momma's group. Can you tell me the exact name of the group? Thanks!

Quoting Apple1:

 


Hugs momma.  If my son does something he knows is wrong...we usually will sit him in a chair where he has to sit in time out for a few minutes with no toys etc.  This does help.  Also wondering if your son is having any issues with pain?  Do you know why he is hitting you?  Have you ever tried the GFCF diet with him?  Gluten and dairy can cause behavioral issues that can cause them to have more melt downs, act out etc.  If you haven't tried this I would highly recommend it.  Also, wonderful group here on cafemom called the biomed momma's group.  Hugs.

mogadishukim
by Member on Dec. 28, 2014 at 5:12 PM
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www.cafemom.com/group/38470

Quoting havay: I can't find the biomed momma's group. Can you tell me the exact name of the group? Thanks!


mogadishukim
by Member on Dec. 28, 2014 at 5:23 PM
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http://behaviorservicesofbrevard.com/appbehav.html

This is a pretty comprehensive description of how Applied Behavioral Therapy can help with a unwanted behavior like hitting. 

Behaviors are more complicated as they have different motivations, and that determines the differing approach to correct or eliminate those unwanted behaviors. 

whitepointer
by Member on Dec. 28, 2014 at 10:11 PM

My grand daughter also at the orientation day bit the young aide worker. She looked like she was

absolutelly shocked to be honest. I went up and asked if she was alright. I didnt apologise as they

should be aware this is what they are going to be dealing with when caring for autistic kids. My

daughter was in the class with the teacher and other group of Mums having a talk. Another thing

that upset me apart from some of the kids at this orientation that you knew would end up in

an institution when they are older and the parents cant care for them, was the fact that they

left the classroom door open. My grand daughter ran off and was running around the school amok

with me 54 trying to round her up. The care workers were told to go outside and help with the kids

that were supposed to be sitting down for a morning tea snack on a rug. My GD wouldnt hear of that and

ran all over the place even going into other classroom with their doors open causing havoc. In the end the

young aide workers could see that I couldnt possibly keep this up ie running around my gd and they started t

round her up. I could see they were thinking, "what the fuck". All the other kids who were autistic were just sitting there in various stages of distress, not over my gd by the way but just because. I could see they would have to adjust there policy of making sure the door was shut as they wont have a minutes peace with my gd.

At one stage my gd at playtime ran over into the typical kids of preschoolers (5 year olds) playground where hey had a cubby house. A kid made a real point of saying my gd wasnt allowed over "here". I was a bit perplexed about this, but rounded my gd up and took her back to the class.....again. The aide worker came over and told me that my gd isnt allowed over there ie the other kids playground. Considering it was all

together with no lines drawn or a fence to partition the typical kids from the special kids I just "looked at the woman". I said, but I cant stop her going over there as she is autistic. The woman just looked at me.

Did she want me to tell my gd to snap out of being autistic and stop going over there. She then said, that the typical kids are allowed into the special kids playground but the special kids arent allowed in the typical kids

play area. I said,
well why isnt there a fence then?.". She looked at me, because she couldnt say the politically incorrect thing

that I was thinking. I said, thats discrimitory". I then said, "what do they think that autism is contagious".

I was livid. She just looked at me!. Its all very well trying to be politically correct and have children with special needs in normal schools when they still make lines that the autistic kids arent allowed to cross.

Im only the grandmother but I was affronted that day.

TattooedBetty
by New Member on Dec. 29, 2014 at 7:57 PM

Wow, whitepointer, that is a really horrific story.  Is there another option for your granddaughter's school?  I would honestly look into another one if at all possible, although I know autism resources can be very limited depending on where you live.  I'll tell you one thing: If I had been confronted with my playground experience, I would NOT have kept my mouth shut.  Have you considered speaking to a local disabilities rights organization?  I don't know for sure, but it does sound like illegal discrimination, although I wouldn't be surprised if the school had found some kind of legal loophole or something.  I just think it's bad to segregate children with autism in such a pointed way as they can have higher levels of understanding than some of their behaviors suggest.  On the other hand, I understand the impulse to want to seperate them just for ease; today I had to take my son from a populated playground to an empty park, but that was after giving him two warnings about not grabbing other people's toys and drinks; however, when you go into a career path dealing with autistic/special ed children, you should prepared for the inconveniences which you may face.  If it's any consolation, my son likes to get up and run away in class too, although he's getting better about it as a he gets older.


As for the original post and replies:

It seems like the spanking actually worked.  He has had some time-outs in the past two days, but has not done anything violent which would merit a spanking and has been listening a lot better in general.  Of course, that's not going to work for everyone's kid.  Like someone pointed out, some are trying to express something they can't otherwise, like pain.  My son was clearly doing it to push boundaries as he giggled before doing it.  ABA is great, he has been doing it for a while now and has improved a lot of behaviors.  

What exactly is the biomed group??

TattooedBetty
by New Member on Dec. 29, 2014 at 8:02 PM
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Also, I haven't been able to do the GFCF diet yet because mine is not his only household, but if anyone (Apple1?) has success stories with it, I would really appreciate reading them so that maybe I can convince other family members to get on board.  I am a huge believer that nutrition affects the way you think and feel and to me that connection is obvious but some people just don't get it.  We will definitely be trying it out when he comes to live with my husband and I full-time in a few months.  

havay
by New Member on Dec. 30, 2014 at 5:18 PM
Thanks

Quoting mogadishukim:

www.cafemom.com/group/38470

Quoting havay: I can't find the biomed momma's group. Can you tell me the exact name of the group? Thanks!

mogadishukim
by Member on Dec. 31, 2014 at 3:39 PM
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Biomedical includes all non-prescriptive interventions:supplements, diet, and various therapies.

Each child on the autism spectrum is different, so each approach to treating them is very individual. Many parents have found a lot of help from diet and supplements. 

My son had experienced a severe regression in middle school. By his freshman year he had lost all eye contact, lost all his speech and academic skills. Diet and supplements alone improved eye contact, social interest, self motivation. Hyperbaric treatments opened back up some language. Chelation brought back even more language and he is slowly begginning to regain some lost academics skills.


Here is Autism Research institutes list of interventions and their efficacy as reported by parents. They include medical and bio-medical interventions. 

http://www.autism.com/pdf/providers/ParentRatings2009.pdf



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