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just another day in the life

Posted by on Jul. 25, 2007 at 11:13 AM
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Hello.  I am new to cafe mom only my second post.  I have been browsing and reading other posts and it feels great to know that my thoughts and feelings are normal.  My 9 yr. old daughter B. has autism spectrum disorder.  Have been struggling with day care issues. I have been sending my daughter to a day camp for "regular" (whatever that is) children.  Not going good. Had to bring her to work one day and the boss was not impressed with her stimming. (screaming squatelyoop at the top of her lungs) I also have very little support system.  Have alot of family who seems to think that autism is behavior I somehow created by not being a stronger parent. (you know such as if I would make her she would use that fork to eat with instead of her hands)  Sometimes I feel consumed by the monster as we call it.  I am married and thank god daily for my husband.  He is basically the only sounding board I have but think sometimes he doesn't even understand.  My daughter is very dependent on mom!  Day care and work relations have been so stressful lately that I think I am going to have to make some major decisions in my life and I can't  seem to make it through the day with a dry eye. (My boss is also impressed by that) Are there any of you out there that had to make drastic changes to be able to stay home once you had special needs kids? 

by on Jul. 25, 2007 at 11:13 AM
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mom4fun
by Bronze Member on Jul. 25, 2007 at 11:25 AM
I feel for you.  I was in the same position only a couple of years ago.  At the time my son was 4 y.o. and was having an awful time in daycare.  I had to quit work (I actually turned in my notice and they offered me a part time job in the evenings, I was lucky!) to be with him and take him to therapies and give him the security that he needed at the time.  We still make changes on regular basis to give him the stability he needs to grow.  I've brought my son to work more often than I can count and he was NOT an angel.

A lot of us have been there.....I"m sorry you're going through this. 
BamaCrueChick
by on Jul. 25, 2007 at 11:51 AM
I had to stay at home when he was a toddler bc he got throwed out of every daycare I put him in.  Times then were very, very tough because we didnt qualify for "help" and we were very bad off financially.

Now....he is older and I'm at work and things are going good.  The only problem I have is that I teach, and it's very difficult when I get a phone call telling me my son is freaking out and they need me.  I just have to tell my principal up front that there may be times I have to leave my class if I can't get a hold of my husband.  It doesnt happen very often anymore though, because we have some behavior plans in place and they know I teach and can't just drop everything unless it's a real problem. But like you....it's always on my mind, hoping he's having a good day.  AND when I hear the intercom:  You have a phone call from Martin Middle School"  My stomach drops and I want to throw up while walking the whole way to the office praying it's nothing major.

"The truth is all within yourself."  Motley Crue

Come join us at: Motley Crue Moms


redfairy
by Member on Jul. 25, 2007 at 12:02 PM
I chose to be a stay at home mom before we found out about my sons's dx. While my husband and I were discussing having a child together....he had his and i had mine.......I expressed that I did not want to be responsable for that many children and working. We both agreed that he would work and that I sould stay home, and in the future when all the kids were in school full time I could look into going back to work. Well, now we are in a position where I may need to go back to work in the next couple of years and with my son's dx and his abilities I do not believe that I can rely on him to do things for himself......he doesn't remember to eat most of the time, can't get out of bed and do what he needs to do to get on the bus on time.......and so on. I have been working so hard to get my son the help he needs and also understanding what is going on with him......I don't feel that I am there yet. I am not ready to go back to work.......I wish you luck, I am a firm believer that you do what you have to and everything else will all fall in to place.......it may be difficult but I am sure you will do what is best for your family.
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