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Early Steps First Visit... I Need Advice!!!

Posted by on Jul. 31, 2007 at 12:58 PM
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What should I expect when we take our "process of adoption 15 month old new son" to his Early intervention visit?(what a mouthful)

He will scream scream scream the entire time, You CAN NOT talk over it.  He will not let anyone touch him or talk to him or move him or look at  him. What will the doctors do in that instance?

I am so scared of the dirty looks we will get. We just want to help him. He is going because I feel that he is autistic. Due to the facts that he:

Will not let anyone connect with him in any way

Will not play with toys

Will not play with other kids

Will not speak other than "MOMMA"
WIl not laugh nor smile

Will not give any eye contact

WIll not interact at all

Perfers to be alone.

I am shocked Foster mother who has always had him since birth has not mentioned this to anyone. He has always acted this way with her. Birth mother history includes Mental Illness, although no one knows what type. Our other adopted children (his biological brothers and sister) act wonderful and sweet and kind and are a joy! Our 18 month old is wonderful and sweet and kind and is a joy...


by on Jul. 31, 2007 at 12:58 PM
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by Bronze Member on Jul. 31, 2007 at 1:41 PM
You may want to bring an extra car/person with you.  When I went, I brought my mom with me for the visit with my 16 month old so that if we had a major melt-down, she would be able to take him home and I could stay and talk with the doctor.   Our visit was part observation/evaluation of the child/interaction with the child by the doctor but mostly parent interview.  So, you may want to think about having that extra person with you if there is someone you trust for that job.  Otherwise, don't sweat it.  They are used to it.  If the doctor is dealing with kids on the spectrum, I doubt your child could throw anything new at them and they won't be giving you any dirty looks.

One question, though - how long was your child in foster care prior to placement in your home?  Is there any chance that the behavior is due to attachment disorders rather than autism?  Often kids that have little physical interaction and sensory stimulation during infancy and toddlerhood can have a variety of behavioral issues.  Just a thought.

Keep your chin up and know you're doing the right thing.  You will get through the appointment and so will your child!  And as for the doctor, they do this every day!

by on Jul. 31, 2007 at 4:37 PM
He has always been in the care of foster mother, and has ever since he was about 9 months old has acted this way no matter if he is with Foster Mom, me or any other person.

It is not an attachment disorder, as an adoptive mother and working with these kids for soooo long, I know it is autism.

Thanks for the reply!!
by Member on Jul. 31, 2007 at 7:45 PM

dirty looks will not be an issue .. i was worried about that too , as I'm used to it from people who have no clue what autism is and have just come to expect it from everyone .. the people you are going to see have pretty much seen and delt with it all .. my fears were met with understanding and reassurance by some of the most compassionate people I've ever met . mostly our first visit was answering questions and observation ..breif medical history of our son .. (one eye on the doctor one on kyle to make sure he didn't color on the walls) ..

I did alot of reading prior to my visit so I could ask the right questions to hopefully get more indepth answers. don't fear your visit .. look at it as a knowing is half the battle .. I applaud you for being concerned and having the guts to face it head on .. it took me months to stop trying to explain my way out of autism to stop finding excuses and just except that we needed to find out .

I never even tought of having someone along with me for our visit "in case" that a fantastic idea that I will have to employ next time. I would deffinately look into that if you think its goingto be that difficult .
good luck and god bless


by Member on Aug. 1, 2007 at 7:33 PM
I think it would be better if he does have his "usual" behavior at the eval.  That way, they know exactly what you/they are dealing with.  If he was on good behavior, they wouldn't know what he's really like.  This way they're evaluating the true issues.

I can imagine it's unbearable at times, but you're seeking help which is terrific.  Good luck and hang in there.
by on Aug. 1, 2007 at 7:45 PM
When ever I go through these thing(in the last few year threes been many, another on mon)  Weather its ei or a nruro..I hope that the boys are on the "worst"  I want the dr. to actually see what I am trying to express..In my experience the mose extreme actions get the fastest services .

love, gg


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