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having sibling issues

Posted by on Mar. 23, 2007 at 1:55 PM
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My oldest made a comment about her brother that really cut deep. The girls were using the hole punch to make pictures all day. Well Sam desided he wanted to help, and started copying them. Jamie just went off on him and I told her to cool it. He just wanted to help. She then starts yelling at me "Sam's autistic! He can't do anything but get into stuff and tear stuff up! He needs to stop being autistic and be 5!" Then she stormed off. I don't know how to handle this without snapping back. She's a bit younge for the "blood thicker than water" speach. (That was my dad's sudgestion.) She's almost 7 and I don't want her 4 year old sister picking up this additude. Any ideas????
Shawnna
by on Mar. 23, 2007 at 1:55 PM
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sucre
by on Mar. 23, 2007 at 2:11 PM
hmmm....I have a 6 year old son....he is 14 months older than Jimmy (my 5year old w/ dx mild pdd)....I read a book called "ruby in her own time"...it's about a duck family.....they have 5 ducklings....4 ducklings develop on time but ruby is always behind.....father duck is concerned and is asking mother duck "....why isn't ruby eating like the others...or why isn't ruby as quick as the others..or why isn't ruby flying like the others....etc...mother duck always replies...."she will....in her own time."  Indeed...at the end, ruby caught up with her brothers and sisters and flew off into the horizon.  This time, mother duck asked father duck,"will ruby ever come back???"...and father duck answered , "yes, in her own time".  Indeed, ruby came back...this time with her ducklings.

I used that book to show mikey that all kids develop in their own time and that we have to be patient.  One time Mikey said he didn't want to play with Jimmy because "he doesn't know how to play"....sure it hurt my heart to hear it...but i turned around and told him...."you're right ...but it's our job to show him how to play.....then we came up with ideas. 

I know Mikey loves jimmy...he holds his hand whenever we go out...but he also gets frustrated.  Patience.....we needs lots of patience.
shyswancrazy
by Member on Mar. 24, 2007 at 8:43 PM
My 6 year old daughter is truely something else. I've tried everything to get her additude toward her brother to chill, but nothing is working. Now she's just being plain mean to him. Today she shut his fingures in the door and laughed about it saying "that's what you get for being stupid". Just in the past few days she's just been hateful. I'm thinking who is she and where is my kid? I just don't get it. Then I noticed this evening that she's been pulling her own hair out. I took her hair down so I could get her ready for a bath, and she has a bald spot on the top of her head. I asked who cut it and she said she pulled it out. I don't know what to do. Should I get her counseling or is this just a phase she'll grow out of?
sucre
by on Mar. 26, 2007 at 10:55 AM

hmmm...sometimes I catch myself praising Jimmy more than I do Mikey....I then redirect myself and praise Mikey as well.  Kids are very aware when more attention is given to one child over the other.....I think her feelings maybe hurt.  As a child...when my feelings got hurt...I never let them be known...I just go mean.  As an adult...I am totally the opposite.  I let people know and I feel better. 


Mikey tells me when he feels put aside......that in itself  helps me "fix" the situation a bit.......counseling might be a good idea.  maybe she can express her feelings.



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