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my son hits him self

Posted by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 2:15 PM
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My son is 4 years old PDD NOS he has picked up a real bad habit i think he learned it at school but he hits him self in the head when he gets mad excited and frustrated i was just wondering if this is something your kids do can you tell me how i might get him to stop because every thing i have tried is not working

by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 2:15 PM
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MommyJanice44
by Head Admin on Apr. 8, 2009 at 3:25 PM

My son also does the same thing , He is much older and this did not start happening until after he had a bad experience at School ..... I am not saying that is why your son is doing this or where he learned it from ..... It is called self stemming . Children with autism do it to release the frustration or feelings they are having inside of themselves. In someway it makes them feel better it takes away from whatever might be either hurting ,anger, any emotions he might have . What they have told me to do is not pat attention to it . kinda hard I know but good reason.. The attention he is getting has some part of why they do this .. When my son does it he will try to show me where he hurt himself and I have to ignore it . Getting him to stop ,always before he starts to do it, redirect his attention on to anything as fast as you can to get his mind of doing this . With any behavior this also works really well with too .. I tell kyle nice hands , Depends on how severe your child is .. Kyle can not comperhend a lot of why not to do this . I just always use two or three word sentences that way he does not get confused at what I am telling .... ALWAYS NICE HANDS KYLE....my son always says why ?? see he does''t understand why he is doing this either like your son ... they can't help it .. try getting a pillow for him to hit . or stop him from doing it and keep repeating the nice hands part... wow best of luck to you .. I really know how you are feeling . It hurts to see are kiddo's hit themselves feels helpless....Always look at the reason why he is doing it too that is very important . as to what might be triggering him to do this ....See. I  new why he was hurting himself ...Now he does because he learned hey this works to take away my frustration .... It is scary at times . Best of luck on this one ..  

tiamaire374
by Member on Apr. 9, 2009 at 11:31 AM

i will try thank you so much it helps to know that some one else is going through the same thing and can relate

Ang317
by Member on Apr. 9, 2009 at 11:45 PM

My son is 5 and he hits himself when he get's upset or angry. My son hasn't started school yet,so his isn't from anything he has seen. I tell him hands in your lap and most of the time it works.Sometimes I have to tell him several times but he usually always does it for me. Trust me, you are not alone.

Hopes this helps.....

Ang317

tiamaire374
by Member on Apr. 10, 2009 at 9:15 PM

i have started to tell hem hands in lap and it actually works for the most part the hardest part is when we are in public and people stare at him and me like im some sort of bad mom makes me so mad

Beth100
by Bronze Member on Apr. 10, 2009 at 9:42 PM

baseballMy grandson is seven and still hits himself.  They just get so frustrated!  I really believe that is all it is.  It's very sad and I always tell him not to hurt my boy.  I can't imagine being locked up in his little body.  You are not alone!.......Beth100

islandmomAruba
by Member on Apr. 10, 2009 at 9:55 PM


My 4-year-old daughter hits her head, scratches her ears and rubs her eyes, bites her arms when she is frustrated...it hurts me to see her do this (she has done this for a while now).

I give her an alternative thing to do...usually I try to stop it by gently telling her to do something else like running in circles (she loves that) and circle her hands...I don't tell her that she is hurting herself, I just give her the alternative...she now comes up with her own altenative actions like stomping her feet really hard on the floor...she tells me "Look mom, is this good too?". I don't know if she hurts herself at school (most of the time she is secretive about scratching and biting herself), but if she were, then I would understand and not try to give too much attention to it right now....I just do the alternatives at home and try to avoid whatever frustrations that might cause her to hit herself.

Ang317
by Member on Apr. 11, 2009 at 9:15 AM

Trust me, I totally understand about people looking and staring.I ordered my son t-shirts off of cafeexpress.com. This way he can have a voice. They have some very cool shirts on there site dealing w/ autism etc...They even have some for parents. I'm glad to hear hands in lap is working for you.... 

actionmom80
by Member on Apr. 11, 2009 at 1:27 PM
My son is 10 now. He started hitting himself when he was 2 or 3. He would slap himself in the face and head hard enough to leave red marks. He would do it when he was frustrated. I could usually tell when he was about to do it by his posture and the look on his face, so when I was close enough and he looked like he was about to hit himself, I would hold his hands or wrists and look him in the face and talk to him in the type of soothing voice you would use on a scared animal. He couldn't understand my words, but I think the tone helped him relax and focus on something else. I woud just babble on til he calmed down, "Mommy loves you! Bobby's a good boy, oh! Look at the train, its blue! Mommy loves Bobby," That helped a lot, but he didn't stop until he was 5 or 6. He did grow out of it for the most part tho :) Very rarely, but every once in awhile he still gets the urge when he is really upset, but again, that's really rare.
Japop
by Member on Apr. 13, 2009 at 12:22 AM

The link I am seeing here and finding in my son is FRUSTRATION!!!!  Our children are frustrated, they can't communicate effectively, they are told to stop communicating (stop hitting yourself) and put "hand in lap".  If you can imagine locking your keys in your car and needing to go somewhere cause your late and getting really frustrated, but , the only person who can help you is telling you to put your hand down.  Not very helpful!  Soooo, what we do (which has solved our problem) is label what he appears to be feeling and help him solve his problem.  It is amazing, he stopped hitting himself and now says "mad, or sad, or frustrated"  "need help" and help is what he gets.

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