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HELP the clock is ticking!! sorry its long

Posted by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 3:34 PM
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Hi ladies.  I have a 5 yr old girl  with PDD-NOS and the time is quickly approaching for her to either go to Kindergarten or not.  She is in a daycare/preschool right now and the people at the public school are all gung ho for her to start.  I met with the school pyschologist in June and she can start wih 2-3 days/wk a couple hours a day if we want.   The problem is that i don't know if I should send her or not.  I don't want to start her and then pull her out.  I was kind of hoping I would get some clarity over the summer but things are not any better for her.  We see a psychologist who is a child developmental specialist for her every other week and she doesn't think she's ready, she's even going to write a letter stating that.  Her psychiatrist also is leaning toward no K. They think it would be too much for her, cognitively she's ready but social, self soothing, self regulation and all the other aspects that are part of Kindergarten are missing.  Sometimes it seems to me she would be ok, other times NO WAY.  As the preschool year progressed last year, we had more and more problems at home, she's so emotional and needy and seems to be needing/wanting my help doing more and more things.  It seemed to me that being at school and rising to meet the demands of whatever she had to do there turned our lives into complete chaos.  And she has this other "personality" that she's been having more and more problems with, she talks to her and sees her sometimes.  And if not K, then what do I do with her?  Private preschool is a fortune but I suppose if that was our best hope, we would manage it.  Don't know about keeping her where she's at now, the daycare/preschool (which she graduated from but would gladly keep her) We are working on a dx for the other personality she has and in the meantime, I'm not sure what to do with my little girl.  Please help!

 

Jodi, Mom of Emily and Alyson, my princesskiss mini and my angelangel mini

by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 3:34 PM
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Replies (1-6):
myheartx4
by Member on Aug. 12, 2009 at 5:40 PM

Hi there,

I would definitely be guided by her drs and specialists. They know your child - the school who is so eager for her to start doesn't know her at all!

If the psychologist and drs both say no, then I think you can be pretty sure that the answer is no. Even the fact that you are so unsure- that is your mother's intuition Momma! Don't be swayed by eager schools who want butts on seats, esp special needs who get extra funding.

If the daycare centre she is at is happy to have her, and if she likes going, and they are positive and supportive, I would keep her there. It would be minimal disruption to her world (although some of her friends may not be there if they have gone on to school).

At the end of the day, there is absolutely no hurry to get her started in school. Once she is in the school system, she's there for a very very long time. Give her as long as possible to get her social and emotional skills developed before starting her in the ratrace.

Hugs,

TYLERSMOM2000
by Member on Aug. 12, 2009 at 5:56 PM

My son Tyler didn't start Kind., until he was 6, I kept him in preschool an extra year.  He was very social, very emotionally ready to go, but he was lagging behind with letter & number recognition etc, and his fine motor skills were also behind.  That extra year gave him a little more security getting ready for Kind.  He likes it because he feels like the BIG MAN because he's older than everyone else ! 

miniarkchick
by Member on Aug. 13, 2009 at 9:52 AM

hi i am in the same situation i'm terrified and don't know what to do the school hasn't even contacted me and school starts in 5 days and they want me to send him the first day which to me is crazy! just send him and they dont know what he needs ,he doesn't know them and me just leave him? not only that all his doctors say he needs his own paraprofessinal with him at all times i told them that and they say i'll have to go over thier heads because they have 4 teachers and 13 kids and my son has to have someone at all times because he is a runner and a wanderer he allso a great fence climber and at both developemental schools he went to he got away at one school he got away and ran in front of a moving van thank god they saw him and stopped and at that school he got away several more times and at the other school he at recess climbed the fence and was on top the fence and jumping to the other side to where the teachers have to unlock the area he just escaped in order to get him noting it also is by a major street!

im going to fight for what he needs which is what his doctor told me to do! if after fightn i don't get it i will keep him at home where i know he is always in sight of an adult . 1 on 1. his doctor told me i may have to get a lawyer but do what i have to do. i wish u luck let me know what u end up doing.

tammy

 

 

momofAly
by on Aug. 13, 2009 at 10:14 AM


Quoting myheartx4:

Hi there,

I would definitely be guided by her drs and specialists. They know your child - the school who is so eager for her to start doesn't know her at all!

If the psychologist and drs both say no, then I think you can be pretty sure that the answer is no. Even the fact that you are so unsure- that is your mother's intuition Momma! Don't be swayed by eager schools who want butts on seats, esp special needs who get extra funding.

If the daycare centre she is at is happy to have her, and if she likes going, and they are positive and supportive, I would keep her there. It would be minimal disruption to her world (although some of her friends may not be there if they have gone on to school).

At the end of the day, there is absolutely no hurry to get her started in school. Once she is in the school system, she's there for a very very long time. Give her as long as possible to get her social and emotional skills developed before starting her in the ratrace.

Hugs,

That's exactly what I needed to hear and I thank you for it.  Hugs to you

Jodi, Mom of Emily and Alyson, my princesskiss mini and my angelangel mini

MommyJanice44
by Head Admin on Aug. 13, 2009 at 11:37 AM

 I so pray for all of you Mommas that have to deal with the Schools . Trust me on this . Always never ever let them tell you NO ... If you feel you child needs a one on one para professional then have an I.E.P and request one . They are going to say that they have enough student teacher ratio which is bull crap .. I always went to the schools for the first week or two even and stayed to see what and how my child was doing . I can''t comprehend how some parents can just send them without looking at the class meeting with the teachers discussing all my child's needs ect ect . The list go's on . And yes they do hold in all that stress from school and bring it home and releases that is not a myth you are so right . Hang in there all of you Mommas and never let anyone talk you into doing something you don't feel is right for your child, "  I have list of attorney advocates for every state mind you for free they will help you . contact me I will be more then happy to give you there number for your areas " . we have MORE RIGHTS THEN ANY OF YOU KNOW . Keep that in mind K .. Put your faith into someone's hands and that is you be an advocate for your child speak up and don't let think they are running the show . I get so angery at these schools that think we as Moms don't know what is best for are children . HA .............. They don't know unless we tell them in writting in the I.E .P

Beth100
by Bronze Member on Aug. 13, 2009 at 5:01 PM

lunchbagGo with your gut!  Especially if the doctor is urging you to keep her out of school.  My seven year old grandson went two years to kindergarten/pre-school.  They have plenty of time.....so let them be more secure before they start!  That's my opinion, anyway.  And you are the Mama, and so you know best!  Beth100

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