Since my fiance got out of the Air Force in April, we decided to move back to where I'm from in Ohio since I am due with our first child on December 12th.
I think just about every single day that we made a mistake coming back here... and that we should have gone to stay with his family in Virginia.
This whole area we live in is so depressed our whole county is pretty much on welfare, food stamps, medicaid, WIC and cash benefits since there are no jobs here.
It's so bad that no one can even get a job at McDonalds... now that's pretty horrible.
We're currently living in a tiny tiny tiny 2 bedroom trailer, have no money (seriously- I have to keep selling our personal items to pay bills -just barely and buy things like toilet paper, etc.), getting food stamps, WIC, and I'm on medicaid. My fiance had one job since we moved back here in August, and that lasted almost 2 months before he was fired for not meeting scoring requirements. We've applied almost everywhere and exhausted almost all of our resources. We're pretty much at a loss and will probably have to apply for cash benefits soon when the baby comes to afford diapers and other necessities and to pay our bills/utilities.
With the way the economy of this country is, I still wonder on a daily basis how people can still afford to celebrate / buy gifts for Christmas. Just thinking about this makes me depressed. I can't even afford to pay my bills and I'm getting sick of family and other people asking me if I've gone "shopping" yet.
Is anyone else in the same situation I am? Sometimes I just want to feel like I'm not alone, and that I'm not the only person that feels this way.
I am in Michigan and on disability as is my other half. Trust me when I say you are NOT alone. Congrats the the baby [I have Dec. twins} I too get downhearted thinking about all the things that I can't give this year....I'm doing my best to hold onto my home. My youngest joined the Air Force this past year because he could see the writing on the wall so to speak. Maybe your hubby could re enlist? I have an anxiety disorder that just LOVES to consume me at will. Menopause doesn't help with that much...lol. I don't know if you are religious or not [I'm no fanatic] but I find prayer to be soooo helpful with my mind and body' I belong to a site that sends dailey emails to my box.Its beliefnet.com I checked the daily inspiration,angel quotes, and dailey prayer. They tend to be the first thing I read. Anyway I have rattled long enough so I just want to leave you with a happy thought. You have your good man a healthy happy bouncing baby due soon. In some ways its the best gift you can ever give and get! Try to count your blessings day by day and remember as sad as it is there is always someone out there worse off as sad as that is but thank God there but by the grace of God you could be in their shoes. Try talking to your guardian angel,we ALL have one and give your worries to her and ask for help and comfort in your life.Things will work out you just have to believe. Your family is in my prayers and concentrate on the only thing that will matter....your baby. Congratulations and God Bless
As the first poster said, you are not alone. As someone who is going through similar circumstances, I completely understand how you feel. It is a very lonely feeling and makes you feel as if everyone else is having great times and you are not, but you just need to remember that these are very difficult times for more people than you think. I will admit that it stinks to go to the store and see everyone with full carts but I try to be thankful for what I do have....a loving husband and son, a roof over our heads, good health, etc. Tell yourself that this is just a bump in the road and things will get better, eventually.
That being said, the holidays are what you make of them. You may not be able to buy gifts, but you can certainly celebrate for free. All communities have free holiday events. We've already been to a tree lighting and we're planning on going to a holiday parade tonight. Neither cost a dime and our 3 1/2 year old loves it! It's difficult to do, but try to think positively and you'll find that it really does help.
You are definately not alone. We are going to have a "dollar store" Christmas this year. Not much, but everyone will have a little something under the tree. I, too, am disabled. I'm in the "donut hole" on medicare and don't know how I'm going to afford my insulin next month. I'm stretching what I have, but have watched my blood sugars rising and rising. I do pray alot also. We have a roof over our heads, a beautiful family, and will have a few little gifts under our tree. I am going to concentrate on giving thanks, especially this week.
You women are making me cry... honestly. I feel bad for all of us.
All of this is straining my relationships with everyone as well... especially my other half. I'm just at a loss. I pray almost every day that he gets a job, at least somewhere! Even if it's minimum wage! All I want is to be able to pay our utilities, pay my car off, be able to afford some gas, and just live. I have 2 car payments left... that's a bit over $200. I feel entirely overwhelmed right now. I just wake up every day and wonder "Are we going to be able to pay bills next month? What happens if we can't?" I don't want my car taken away when I only owe 2 payments! I don't live in a really urban area either. I need my car to get me places. I have doctor appointments, I need to go get food, and currently we've been having to drive to my mom's to take showers because our whole bathroom is screwed up - We had to rip all of the old tub and stuff out because it had huge cracks and wasn't safe to use- so we still haven't gotten a new one installed yet.
It's just really sad to me how I have to want necessities, be able to pay my bills, and a job for my SO for Christmas when other people don't have to worry about that and make luxury item Christmas lists. It's just completely awful.
I couldn't imagine having to go through all of this with a couple of kids right now... I just couldn't do it.
(My uncle just called while I was writing this and told me he wanted to hire my SO to work in the gas station he manages. I guess someone is listening!) I just hope I can stop crying by the time we have to be up thre for him to fill out paperwork.
I am wishing the best for all of you ladies and hope that someone can find in their hearts to help you all out. I know how tough it is right now, especially when you feel so alone. I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers.
Not to be nieve here...which I know I will sound that way. But why not move back with SO's family in VA? Seriously?? I mean...trust me DH and I were in y'alls shoes not to long ago. He had a pretty steady job..but that alone wasn't going to pay the bills. And I had TWO jobs....one of which I was on the verge of losing (and would have lost 2 weeks after I left). Anyway...we moved due to a job offer for DH....and its like a completely different world here! There are places to go get a job should I need one. The whole area almost feels as if it hasn't been hit by the economy. (honestly... i'm sure it has but compared to where we lived before...this is a dance in daisys)
Why not look for jobs online in other areas than your own? It just really sounds like there's no where for y'all to go there! I'm really sorry for your misfortune...and I wish you the best of luck and will pray for your family!!!
Just wanted to throw that out there! Please no one get offended by me!
There are so many people that have lost their homes that I cant dare conplain.But I will say I have no ideal where any Christmas gifts will come from.I still remember what it was like as a child to be super poor.Going back to school after Christmas and seeing and hearing what other kids got,I always wondered what I did wrong that Santa loved them but not me.Thats why the kids in this family get something if I have to let my bills go for a month.I cant stand the thought of any child having to do without Christmas gifts.I hope things work out for all of yall.And I need to say this also.God has never let me do without any thing I needed .He knows my heart and will supply my needs.
I am very sorry that you are going through this...When my fiance got medically discharged we had to move from GA to IN because he couldn't find a job. I know exactly what your going through and I pray it gets better for you. Does your husband get VA benefits? I went to an appointment a few weeks ago and they gave me a list of websites that will help veterans if they cant pay their bills...Im not sure if it is just for OIF and OEF veterans but I will look for the paperwork tomorrow and give you the information. If he has a caseworker/social worker call and request this information.
http://www.wishuponahero.com/
Try this site. You can make 3 wishes a month. some get granted and some don't. You could also go to your local salvation army I know that they do toy drives and that. Also check with the local welfare office, they too do toy drives and a mitten tree. Well most welfare offices do a mitten tree, where you write your kids age and what they need, and it goes on a tree. And anyone else in the community can pick a name or however many names off the tree and buy for those kids. Then when they are all done collecting things then they will call you with what has been donated for your child. We had to do this last year, and it was great. We lived in Missouri then, and my DD got snow boots, and heavy pj's, along with socks, gloves, a stocking hat, and a few toys. It does not seem like much but it helped soooo much!
I have been unemployed, collecting no unemployment insurance since January 2008. It has been one tough year for me. Paying bills on one income has been a challenge. My teenage daughter understands the situation we face. I really am not looking forward to this upcoming holiday. With the upset of the economy I believe alot of us are feeling depressed...it's in the air Even though most of our stores are lowering prices this year, no one has any money to spend. To receive a gift card from a major outlet looks good right now (I dream come true?).
I just wanted to say I understand where you are at. I am struggling to make ends meet and I dont think there will be a Christmas here at all.
I have three kids and my ex barely pays child support. Its just so hard I just finally got a call back this morning from a place I had heard helps with Christmas and had high hopes well she said no they cant help. I am so stressed I feel bad for my kids I hate always being in this situation and I just want so bad to get out of the hole we are in heck I dont even have gas right now.
I totally understand where you are coming from and will say a prayer for you. God Bless ya
tv's clerance soon
- fmaziarz
on Nov. 21, 2009 at 11:55 PM