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i dont know what to do with my ds he has adhd and odd and is meds and what not are not helping and the therapist thinks im nutz cuz he changes when he is around others. and im just going nutz help ive tried changing tone of my voice iv tried rewards iv tried charts iv tried corner iv tried time out chair iv taken things away i dont know what to do

by on Jan. 3, 2012 at 1:03 AM
Replies (21-26):
by on Jan. 4, 2012 at 1:37 AM
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Ladies ladies!! This is getting out of hand! We are to be a support to one another to build one another up, not to tear one another down!

If your therapist is not a psyco therapist who works with ADHD you may want to get another therapist. If your dr. is not a true pediatrician you may need a new doc. Or a med change. Yes, reading books can give you insight! There are also ADHD seminars for parents. All of these things can be insightful together. Let's not loose focus! Breathe! It's the child who matters most here, not being right!
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by on Jan. 4, 2012 at 8:32 AM

Well said Stuswf.... Let's all breath.  it sounds as if the problems here are beyond what a therapist can handle.  The issue of you child acting wonderful out side the home and then turning into the Tazmanian Devil at home is what alerted me. I have adopted children and the big scary thing is RAD. Look of Reactive Attachment Disorder and read up on symptoms and see if you see your child.  If so,then find an attachment therapist and probably a psychologist for some testing.

If what you are doing is not working then maybe look in another direction.  I found that with my trauma history boys that charts and punishments and spankings did nothing but hurt our realtionships.  Attachment parenting made the difference.  Don't get me wrong they still need meds and they still make me crazy but not every day, and not to the point where I want to give up. 

Look up Bryan Post and watch some of his videos on utube.  It is free and although not well made you can learn a lot and maybe find your other direction.


by on Jan. 4, 2012 at 11:46 AM

I'm not mad or upset... please don't read more into my posts than what was intended.  No one is worth my time to get myself worked up over, especially on the Internet.  I stated my case, with anything, as if I were having a normal conversation with a friend and answered her questions.  Whether she had the same intent as me or not, I don't know.

I am just not someone who is going to beat around the bush because I don't feel it's helpful to anyone nor would I want someone to do that to me.  When you put something out in a public forum then people should be prepared for someone to have a comment.  I only go off what info is given and can't assume details are left out.  It wasn't at all about being right, when I replied it was absolutely about the child [ren] since there is now more than one involved in this post.

With that, have a great day because I've given my advice on the situation with the therapist and insight on knowing exactly how some of these kids feel because I grew up living it.  So some people might not want to give me the respect  or value my advice as a parent of a child with ADHD because my son is only almost four and that's fine.  However, if and when I give advice it comes from experience as a child who lived with ADHD and I was very difficult as times for my parents.  So I know what a child is possibly feeling like. Anyway, take care.

by on Jan. 4, 2012 at 12:47 PM
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stuswf - thanks for reminding all of us that this is a supporting place for trying to help everyone feel better and not a place to push people down.

I would like to remind everyone that we are here for support and sometimes we hear things that may OR may not apply to us.  It's easy to think of these things as critisim when indeed, they are only suggestions.  The written word does not always display the possible emptathy in our voices and/or our body language. 

Now regarding the situation - If your child is not doing the same thing at home that they are doing in therapy I would definately suggest a voice activated recorder and/or a video recorder.  Show the therapist what you are experiencing at home.  If you can't do that then a journal is another great way to do this.  It's really important though if you write it down that you write down all the things about the situation.  Things the therapist will need to "see" via your words.  Your therapist may not be right for you OR your child might be "really good" at playing them.  Both are posibilities.  A video would show the therapist and help them help you. 

Now, on the flip side - something that I had to learn in therapy that was very hard for me.  I wasn't handling my child correctly.  If my child did not have ADD then I was doing great BUT with her ADD and with my responses - well to put it frankly, I was making the situation worse.  Using methods that the therapist taught me, I was able to change the way I acted with my child and in turn, she has changed.  It's been a long and uphill battle.  We have three steps forward and then a step or two back but after four/five years - it's better.  She's 17 now and while we are not "issue free" we have so much less drama, lying, freaking out, stealing, hitting etc.  It's really hard though and it took lots of work and lots of sleepless nights for me and my teen to get here.  I am hoping that so many of the lessons I learned will help me as my 13 year old steps up to the plate.

So, please don't stop looking for help and Good Luck!

by on Jan. 4, 2012 at 2:18 PM
No my son knows better than to curse at me. But you have your opinion and i have mine. Like i told the op im not saying do what i do. I live in a different state than you do. Here since we arent as big as michigan, you can call the cops for things that ungovernerable. Op, this mom knows first hand what ur dealing with. Maybe her methods will help. Im just not into feeling sorry for my son and making excuse when he clearly makes adult decisions on a daily basis. Here when the kid steals, the parent is charged and goes to jail. Im just trying to figure out when this is the case what should we do. Counseling does help but if he has it in his mind he will continue to do as he please, i have no advice. Im not mad bcuz like i said every kid is different so it may take different things for each child. I have a friend right now that was facing jail time bcuz her adhd child broke into the a school. That to me is very frustrating.
by on Jan. 4, 2012 at 2:40 PM
1 mom liked this

i been though the same with with my 9 year old son he has adhd and odd and every meds that he been on didnt work nether up until back in sept   11  he takeing depakote   and the doctor just upit 2 in the am and 1 at 5 pm and it working for him good luck if u need to talk add me as a friend or message me  i been though it since my son was 5 year old so i know what u are going though

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