ADHD and Cleanilness

[mswifey]

Just curious if this is a common problem. My SD is 9 1/2 we are having her evaluated this need, and possibly on meds. I have done much research and in all that i have read she shows signs of ADHD with anxiety and ODD. She has horrible hygeine habits. Its a fight everyday to even brush her hair. If i do not stand over her she will not do it, end of story. I have to watch her do it or do it myself. She wont brush it out because she says it hurts. Even if i do stand over her, which i do not have time for, if i walk away for a split second she'll stick a headband on and go out with a birds nest in the back of her head. She showers herself, but i know she dont wash. She dont even use toliet paper! This is discussing, but nothing i have tryed has worked. She is not far from puberty, her face is already breaking out, and i have talked to her til i'm blue in the face. It just makes her angry and more determined to not do it. The only thing i have not resorted to with shower and toliet issues is do it myself, and thats just not an option. I have just brushed her hair myself. It only takes a few times, when she begs to do it herself, but when i do, she just sticks a headband on her head and leaves the rats nest in the back of her head. I'm almost at the point where i'm just gonna let her do it her way. Im so flippin tired of fighting with her over basic everyday routine things!!!! Is this normal. Should i let her do it her way. I just dont want others thinking bad of me. At the age of 9 alomost 10 you would think that she would have the basics down! Does antone have insight? Please help!'

[Kitten1555]

Mt 13 yr old with adhd (will be 14 next month) never cared about those.things either. However now she is extremely picky about how her hair looks and if she gets a drop of water on her clothes she changes!.she's.very much the opposite now. If only i could get her to clean her room the same way! Lol.

[momamoore]

I have a SD age 9 that is also the same way. I just try to let her know how improtant it is to be clean and let her know the results of not being clean(exp. if she does not shower well or wipe well she may have odor or get gauded and that is very painful). It has taken a few times of her getting that way for her to realize that she needs to wipe and wash properly. I tell her that hygeine is very important and that it shows what kind of friend you will be. If you don't take care of yourself then how are you gonna care for someone else. I have had to start getting up a little earlier bc 3 of my 5 children have adhd so I try to make the time in the mornings to make sure that everything that needs to be done is done. I made it a point to brush hair and teeth myself for a while and they finally got tired of me doing it for them and decided that it would be a lot easier if they just did it themselves. I still have to remind them several times but it gets done. It's hard to deal with these situations and very tiresome. One suggestion would be to make a checklist for the things you expect out of her in the mornings. If she completes them all then reward her. A treasure box with dollar items or items of your choice is a good reward for my kids. I know that some people would say that's bribery but my doctor even suggested it. They need to do the same things in the morning and be rewarded until they can get into a routine. It will be time consuming and work on your part but once the routine is down pat it will  be well worth it.

[EmeraldLake]

Have you read about "sensory" issues?   If she says it hurts to brush her hair, it probably does.   Maybe a different hair brush / softer bristles?    What about cutting her hair shorter to make care easier? 

Does she have fine motor or coordination or low-muscle tone problems?   Maybe the motor planning involved in brushing her hair and washing herself is overwhelming?

[BLMoretti]

Well there is it eww factor. If she won't shower in the morning then what about a fragrant bath at bedtime? Then just as she gets out slip in and make sure her hair got washed. I have always told my kids they feel better when they are clean. When they get out of the tub I hug them and sniff their clean hair and say oh now you feel so much better to be clean. Just like everything else if you tell them over and over it becomes true. I have boys and they are notorious about not wanting to shower, and you have 5! It really is time for your 9 year old to take those things on herself. Maybe a short haircut and some cute bows would do the trick.

[stephwordelman1]

my son is 7yr old is adhd/odd, most of the time he will not do things for himself, and that part gets me frustrated, i'm trying to get him independent before this baby comes, but i know that not going to happen, if i don't end up doing the stuff for him, he will get attitude and get to frustrated. 

[CoSaWy]

My dd just turned 13 and I have exactly the same problems with her. For a moment I thought that I could have written this post myself. you are not alone and I wish I had a solution for you but I am still struggling with this as well. Good Luck!

[mimimom139]

Oh Honey! Mine will be 13 in June and we still have those battles. Her hair is now in a cute bob and even if she sneaks out unbrushed, it doesn't look too bad. As for everything else, I think  you'll just have to stay on her. I'm sorry I'm not much help. I guess I just want to let you know you're not alone. If you get any help, let me know.