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Seriously at the end of my rope with my son!!!

Posted by on Nov. 5, 2012 at 11:45 PM
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OK so I really really need some advice! My son have been on Adhd meds since he was 4. He has knocked 9 teeth out of his mouth since he could walk. he is overly sensitive about everything and I try so so hard to help him. His meds were working so well when he was younger. he was not zoned out and   he still acted like himself. The problem now is it seems like nothing is helping! hes outta control and is now almost 7 and physically abusive to me and his sister. I dont know how to help him or what to try. I try to keep him busy outside or activities inside but he just moves from one thing to another and wont or is even so fast he hurts himself if that makes sense?  I just need some advice of something to try to get him to be calmer? or schedule your little ones try?  activities that work for your children? I try to pick my battles but today was it ! he was punching, smacking spiting, and I had to go to his school because he was outta control there! he will run himself so hard that he is dripping in sweat and wont even notice he needs to stop and eat something or take a drink! hes been the same weight for 3 years also. I am just in over my head.  any ideas would be amazing thanks

by on Nov. 5, 2012 at 11:45 PM
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jalex
by on Nov. 6, 2012 at 8:19 AM
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I would have him in an inpatient treatment center.  We have come close sooo many times.  If my son hurt me or our family, he would be in the hospital where everyone (including him) is safe.  (((HUGS)))

DDDaysh
by Bronze Member on Nov. 6, 2012 at 9:32 AM
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This sounds like there could be more than ADHD going on.  Does he currently see a psychologist?  If not, then I think he needs another formal evaluation.  

It also might be worth taking him to the ER the next time he's really out of control.  As the other poster said, sometimes and inpatient facility is the right way to go, so they can evaluate him for more than a few minutes at a time.  

janesgirl4297
by on Nov. 6, 2012 at 11:22 AM
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When our son physically hurt another child in school he was accepted to a partial hospitalization program for about 3 wks. He did his school work there, attended groups (this helped alot) and he was closely monitored by Dr.'s, nurses, therapists etc. They were able to properly diagnose him as well as get him on a different medication. It was so helpful! It felt good to know that over this time period they were monitoring how his medication was working. He would go there each day (like a regular school day) and we would pick him up in the evenings. I think that this would be the best thing to try too.

kapeypey06
by on Nov. 6, 2012 at 2:14 PM

yea see Idk if I can bring myself to do that I question myself all the time....is he really that bad? am I a good parent? is there something  I am not doing that I should  be? gosh todayis such a horrible day as well as yesterday!! I find if I put him to work on doing dishes or something its not that bad  but hes makes a worse mess when he does I just want him to be better is all to calm down whats your guys routine like at home?

jalex
by on Nov. 6, 2012 at 2:42 PM
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Quoting kapeypey06:

yea see Idk if I can bring myself to do that I question myself all the time....is he really that bad? am I a good parent? is there something  I am not doing that I should  be? gosh todayis such a horrible day as well as yesterday!! I find if I put him to work on doing dishes or something its not that bad  but hes makes a worse mess when he does I just want him to be better is all to calm down whats your guys routine like at home?

 A steady routine is very good for a child with ADHD.  I have had the same questions...  Truth is, we are not bad parents because our children have issues, we do the best that we can.

My son would benefit from having intense counseling, really just our insurance kept me from doing it.  I told him (my hubby and myself) that if he started hitting us, he would get help no matter if its in or day treatment.  It's not punishment, its teaching him how to handle situations and treat other ppl.  If he is a threat, you should be able to get treated ASAP depending on plan.  My son just has ongoing issues and other dx.  Treatment can also tell if there is more going on. 

kapeypey06
by on Nov. 6, 2012 at 5:24 PM

yea thats true I am thinking I should call his doc

 

stephwordelman1
by on Nov. 6, 2012 at 5:42 PM

try to get him into counseling or behavior thearpy I am doing that with my son right now because he had so much anger issues.

21lisa72
by Member on Nov. 6, 2012 at 9:51 PM
1 mom liked this
Try to get a med change or increase
Do a behavioral therapy plan at home-ie every consequence has an action like taking away a favorite item, take away tv, send him to bed earlier, grounding make a chart so he can see check marks in what he is doing wrong and what rule he is disobeying l actually was in a program with my son for ADHD for 3 years at a local college and we had behavior plans at home and at school. Sometimes they worked but it also trained me to be a more consistent parent. Good luck I am sorry for your stress I have been there and am entering a new phase preteen and ADHD believe me I would not wish this on my worse enemy!
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lazyd
by Bronze Member on Nov. 7, 2012 at 12:28 AM
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My son is/was the same way.  He is physically violent.  He hits, kicks, screams.  We use to have to physically hold my son down when he was in trouble for a "time out".  He wouldnt stay and than when "time out" was done he would go right back to doing what got him into trouble in the first place!  My son does not understand consequences.  My son was diagnosed with adhd/odd/severe anxiety at 3 1/2, he is 10 now.  I dont know if you have the space, but we did not have any toys or "hard" things in my son's room and that is where he went to throw his tantrums.  He was left alone and could throw what he could find, which would only be soft, stuffed animals or his bed sheets.  My son had nothing in his room but his bed and dresser.  Now if he threw all his clothes on the floor, when he calmed down, he would eventually pick up all his clothes.  We kept all of his "destructive" toys in our living room.  My son has been in weekly therapy for 7 years now.  He still goes just because he loves to talk to his therapist.  My son does behavioural therapy.  My son also has an IEP at school, you need to get one for your son.  The school will than be required to find staff to help your son with his behaviour and education so you dont have to be called every time your son acts up.  But you also need to check with your son's doctor about his meds.  Maybe he needs different ones or up the dosage.  My son doesnt gain a pound either (he is 10 & still in size 8 pants) but he does eat...he just eats two bites of every thing all day long.  My son will forget to eat but than be starving (according to him...and thats when he throws a tantrum) but when you finally get him somethin, he'll take two bites and take off again.  Routine, routine, routine is what works.  It is sad, but sometimes i feel like i have to schedule my life around my son and he's 10!  It is like living with a baby sometimes, you cant leave and you dont like to go shoppin while they're sleepin.  I only take my son with me if absolutely necessary.  I dont go near "eating" times or in the afternoon when he is worn out from school. 

kapeypey06
by on Nov. 7, 2012 at 2:06 AM

lazyd your son sounds almost exactly like mine! I have tried several routines and have a hard time finding one that works! going to see the doc tomorrow  at 1 I really hope it all works out. he does have a iep already and today was horrible again took his tv out as for the rest of his toys he dont really have ones he considers his favorites because he only stays a min or so with each

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