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Holding back tears...how do you do this

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My son is in the evaluation stage.  He's been seen by the Pediatrician and the Pediatric Neurologist.  We get the results at a meeting next week. 

I feel like I cannot handle this.  Everything takes so long for him to do.  I have to be right next to him prompting him so he can complete a task.  Homework takes forever unless I am right there saying, "now what's next", "stop looking at the wall", "keep you eyes on the paper", "stop playing with your pencil". 

He seems to have gotten worst now that he's is the middle of 4th grade.  The work is harder and he finds any excuse to get up from his desk (sharpening pencil, bathroom, cleaning his glasses, putting on a sweater".  And suddenly he does not know how to do anything unless I coach him through it.  It took 2 hours for him to put 25 words in alphabetical order, because he claimed he needed my help.  He has had to put his spelling words in order since third grade.  Why is he doing this?

I can't take this.  I'm not sure what medication can do with this type of of behavior.  I am scared that I will have to be attached to him like this throughout the foreseeable future.

Please tell me it is going to change, because I can't do this much longer.  I had to walk away today, his homework will be incomplete for the first time, but I just couldn't. HELP.

by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 10:45 PM
Replies (11-20):
MomOfOneCoolKid
by Bronze Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 11:13 PM

 


Quoting TattoomamaPink:

6 different medication on different trys to get the right one not all at once ...


 I hope I am not prying too much, but which meds have you tried?

i have tried ritalin, focalin, and now adderall.

adderall seems to make his repetitive behaviors -- buzzing sounds, repeating tv scripts -- worse

ritalin and focalin seem to make him more anti-social and more aggressive...

 

i'm really thinking he has OCD and adhd or just ocd... but i'm starting to lean towards OCD a lot :/

MomOfOneCoolKid
by Bronze Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 11:14 PM

 

 

Quoting MomOfOneCoolKid:

 

 

Quoting TattoomamaPink:

6 different medication on different trys to get the right one not all at once ...

 

 I hope I am not prying too much, but which meds have you tried?

i have tried ritalin, focalin, and now adderall.

adderall seems to make his repetitive behaviors -- buzzing sounds, repeating tv scripts -- worse

ritalin and focalin seem to make him more anti-social and more aggressive...

 

i'm really thinking he has OCD and adhd or just ocd... but i'm starting to lean towards OCD a lot :/

 i did add adderall with the tenex and he seemed "super adhd" with the combo...

 oh an i have tried tenex too but i think i gave up on it too quickly... it didn't focus him like the stimulants, but his OCD didn't flare up either...

 

he's 4 yrs old :(

Verrine
by Bronze Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 9:33 AM

The attention stunts are due to lack of impulse control. A lot of ADHD kids to it. When people respond they do it again. Ha Ha so funny.

21lisa72
by Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 4:03 PM

 Oh it will work you have been this far believe me the process is long and frustrating but you are almost there it will work fine- have you tried for an Iep (extra help in school that took me 2-3  years and I wanted to smack the principal(sorry but she was a thorn is my sife, mean to my son, once I got the distract involved things moved-they even failed him in kintergarten as part of their process!  But once he got special ed and meds he was a whole new kid!  Good luck!  Stay positive never give up on your kid, know one really understands if they haavent been there!

TattoomamaPink
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 4:18 PM

No you are complety fine... The doctors have tried him on concerta which didnt work adderall which had no affect other then making him aggressive and mood swings and not eating. ritilan  didnt do anything , foclin which made him very aggressive, metadate which actully didnt even phase him, and now he is trying vyvanse and it works but I still see some of the aggresiveness and not listening.. and I'm almost to the point of telling these doctors if they can not find something that works Im taking him off of the medication for good... I'm hoping this vyvanse will work but hes only been on it for about a 2 weeks so we will see.......



Quoting MomOfOneCoolKid:



Quoting TattoomamaPink:

6 different medication on different trys to get the right one not all at once ...


 I hope I am not prying too much, but which meds have you tried?

i have tried ritalin, focalin, and now adderall.

adderall seems to make his repetitive behaviors -- buzzing sounds, repeating tv scripts -- worse

ritalin and focalin seem to make him more anti-social and more aggressive...


i'm really thinking he has OCD and adhd or just ocd... but i'm starting to lean towards OCD a lot :/



MomOfOneCoolKid
by Bronze Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 5:31 PM

 


Quoting TattoomamaPink:

No you are complety fine... The doctors have tried him on concerta which didnt work adderall which had no affect other then making him aggressive and mood swings and not eating. ritilan  didnt do anything , foclin which made him very aggressive, metadate which actully didnt even phase him, and now he is trying vyvanse and it works but I still see some of the aggresiveness and not listening.. and I'm almost to the point of telling these doctors if they can not find something that works Im taking him off of the medication for good... I'm hoping this vyvanse will work but hes only been on it for about a 2 weeks so we will see.......

 

 

Quoting MomOfOneCoolKid:

 

 

Quoting TattoomamaPink:

6 different medication on different trys to get the right one not all at once ...

 

 I hope I am not prying too much, but which meds have you tried?

i have tried ritalin, focalin, and now adderall.

adderall seems to make his repetitive behaviors -- buzzing sounds, repeating tv scripts -- worse

ritalin and focalin seem to make him more anti-social and more aggressive...

 

i'm really thinking he has OCD and adhd or just ocd... but i'm starting to lean towards OCD a lot :/

 

 

IMHO, i wouldn't give up just yet.

All the meds you guys have tried are stimulants. And for good reason. Stimulants are easy in and easy out. You can take it in the morning or afternoon and it will not affect you the next day.

All of the meds you have mentioned, like i said, are stimulants. There is still one stimulant you haven't tried, which is dexetrine. i haven't tried it either. i am going to as soon as my son's school situation is settled... anyways... i *might* try one more stimulant, i.e. dexedrine.

 

Then there are the non-stimulants: tenex (guanfacine). intuniv is the long acting form of guanfacine. clonidine. tenex and clonidine are in the same family.

Then there is straterra.

 

If non of these work, your doc may even suggest an ssri-family type drug. i think there are drug-families of anti-depressants and drug-families of anti-psychotics.

 

there is a lot to try and a lot to be hopeful for. i'm preaching to myself here too. hang in there mom. its not an easy road is it?

 

TattoomamaPink
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 5:59 PM

NO it isen't but we love our children and we all will do whats the best for them!!!!giving heart


Quoting MomOfOneCoolKid:



Quoting TattoomamaPink:

No you are complety fine... The doctors have tried him on concerta which didnt work adderall which had no affect other then making him aggressive and mood swings and not eating. ritilan  didnt do anything , foclin which made him very aggressive, metadate which actully didnt even phase him, and now he is trying vyvanse and it works but I still see some of the aggresiveness and not listening.. and I'm almost to the point of telling these doctors if they can not find something that works Im taking him off of the medication for good... I'm hoping this vyvanse will work but hes only been on it for about a 2 weeks so we will see.......



Quoting MomOfOneCoolKid:



Quoting TattoomamaPink:

6 different medication on different trys to get the right one not all at once ...


 I hope I am not prying too much, but which meds have you tried?

i have tried ritalin, focalin, and now adderall.

adderall seems to make his repetitive behaviors -- buzzing sounds, repeating tv scripts -- worse

ritalin and focalin seem to make him more anti-social and more aggressive...


i'm really thinking he has OCD and adhd or just ocd... but i'm starting to lean towards OCD a lot :/



IMHO, i wouldn't give up just yet.

All the meds you guys have tried are stimulants. And for good reason. Stimulants are easy in and easy out. You can take it in the morning or afternoon and it will not affect you the next day.

All of the meds you have mentioned, like i said, are stimulants. There is still one stimulant you haven't tried, which is dexetrine. i haven't tried it either. i am going to as soon as my son's school situation is settled... anyways... i *might* try one more stimulant, i.e. dexedrine.


Then there are the non-stimulants: tenex (guanfacine). intuniv is the long acting form of guanfacine. clonidine. tenex and clonidine are in the same family.

Then there is straterra.


If non of these work, your doc may even suggest an ssri-family type drug. i think there are drug-families of anti-depressants and drug-families of anti-psychotics.


there is a lot to try and a lot to be hopeful for. i'm preaching to myself here too. hang in there mom. its not an easy road is it?




Bellandpaysmom
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 12:24 PM
1 mom liked this

My son is now 15 and was diagnosed in the 2nd grade.  He has tried so many meds and doctors too.  We still struggle everyday.  We have recently started with a new pychiatrist and he really likes her.  That does make a huge differance.  Make sure you find one you are both comfortable with.  He still really struggles at school, mostly due to the fact that he has had terrible teachers in the past that did not want to take the extra time that he needed.  He is way behind his other classmates.  He tests on about a 4th grade level and he is in the 9th.  How does this happen?  I know it is difficult to deal with most of the time but take my advice and never give up on him because no one is going to give him the attention and help him more than you.  And remember no matter what his teachers tell you if you think he is struggling dont let it go make sure they make the necessary adjustments to ensure he doesnt get as far behind as my son.  I know this all sounds negative but it is the truth and I wish I had someone tell me these things were possible then.  Also never forget he didnt ask to be this way and cant help that he is so please have lots of patience and love no matter how bad or good the situation is.  This can be really dificult I know so dont forget to walk away sometimes and take some time for yourself to clear your head because it is a full time challenge and you deserve it.  Good luck, I hope everything works out for you.

PAM011904
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 8:36 PM
IMO once you know the meds are working and I would get that info from the teachers. Meaning once he does his work mostly independently at school then it's working, it's up to you to make him do it at home. You can't keep giving him the answers or "spoon feeding" him. I did this for a while with my dd bc it was easier. And in my house now she will sit there until its done. I will answer simple comprehension questions but that's it. Good luck
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lazyd
by Bronze Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 4:41 PM

Yep, totally been there and done that.  I gave up.  I know it's bad, but my 10 1/2 yo son is in the 5th grade.  I quit "helping" him with his homework, cuz he couldn't do it and wouldn't do it.  My son would give me the answers but I had to write everything down!  It did start getting worse n worse in the 4th grade.  My son has an IEP and he gets one on one math help, so he never brings work home in that - cuz it didn't matter if my son had adhd/odd/severe anxiety - i can't do math anymore - it's too hard.  We will occassionally do his spelling/vocab - but i pretty much gave up in the area too, cuz it's just too much work and i have other things to do besides sittin around doin his work for two hours.  My son gets the help he needs at school - so we don't have to stress out about it after school when his meds have worn off and we are both "done" for the day.  Sorry i have no advice for you.  Get him set up with an IEP ASAP, not just behavioural but educational if your son is failing like mine is. 

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