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I have a question with adhd is there bad behavior

Posted by on Dec. 30, 2013 at 11:50 PM
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I have a question with adhd does your child or adult child ever have bad behavior as one of the symptoms that goes with it? To explain my daughter is 20 and was away at school she came to see me for short visit during christmas but showed not very good behavior such as using bad language doing things that were out of ordinary for her cause before when living at home she new better and doesnt do these things at her dads he doesnt allow it.  Her dad (my ex) and I feel and she does as well feel she has it so we are trying to get her help ,but I didnt know if she was doing it for attention or if it was part of her symptoms.  I guess I need help in understanding and have learned from some moms that there children will express anger  and have short tempers,but do they say things or do things that most kids wouldnt say or do ,does the hdhd effect them in that way! Thank you! 

by on Dec. 30, 2013 at 11:50 PM
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Replies (1-9):
heathers5500
by on Dec. 31, 2013 at 11:33 AM
2 moms liked this

Part of her new "bad behavior" could also be her age and having been away at school.

Rachael-Dawn
by on Dec. 31, 2013 at 11:38 AM
1 mom liked this
She's 20. It's hard to know if a 20 year old is choosing said behavior or if it is impulsive urges that come with adhd. At this point, the only person who would know is a doctor and she would have to be willing to go and to be honest about how she's feeling physically. Most likely she's just a 20 year old girl feeling her freedom though. Those behaviors would have come through regardless of whether or not her father allowed it when she was younger. It's something that has to be learned to control with age.
bizebe
by on Dec. 31, 2013 at 12:35 PM

Thank you ladies for your replys thats actually comforting for me to know and I honestly do believe its her expressing herself cause she was away for so long she went to jobcorp so part of me felt it was behavior she learned from other kids her own age so I dont feel that was part of her adhd ,I just wanted to ask cause this is all new to me ,thank you!

MamiJaAyla
by on Jan. 1, 2014 at 4:17 PM

with ADHD there is more impulsivity, less thinking b/f you speak, harder time focusing etc.

HOWEVER, after reading your posts and having them stick in my head I have a couple of questions:

-  Was your dd kinda like this before?  Hard to focus can't still still etc.

-  She may (prob. does have ) ADHD BUT with some of  your commnets and the idea I've gotten that this all super pronounced right now I have to mention that there is a possibility that your dd may also be doing drugs.  This is especially not rare with kids that are ADD b/c self medication is pretty common but also with any kids.  In Job Corp she WAS exposed to a LOT of different kids and life styles etc.  and having know kids that went to job corp in many of the cases I knew it was sort of a last ditch effort to straighten them out (they already did drugs, had issues, may have been in juvie etc.)

so I just have to throw it out there. 

momkelly2
by Head Admin Catherine on Jan. 2, 2014 at 4:34 PM

Personally I think it  shows bad habbits she picked up as school.     I know both of my kids talk the way their friends do..   though they work hard to curb it at home because they know I don't like it.  

bizebe
by on Jan. 2, 2014 at 8:30 PM

Thank you well her dad and I wondered the same thing but we feel it is hdhd cause she did have these issues before but not as bad, she has always struggled in school cause of feeling she didnt fit in n made lot of friends in jobcorp although I have to question how good they were for her . Her dad n I felt she could go there n learn a trade which she did but I wasnt aware at time what kind of kids shed be around. She was asked if she did drugs n she said no it was her hdhd since being out after she graduated she has been to counceling and will be seeing a dr ,but the counselor does feel she has adhd and recommended her to dr to see if she can get some meds. Her behavoiur I feel is from kids she was around ,but the not focusing she had before going in and other things that make sense to me now I didnt see before she would forget things she wanted to say, zone out in conversation, forgetting things all the time even before jobcorp, umm having hard time following thru she would get fustrated alot  felt she wasnt as smart as other kids but being parent its hard to pinpoint whats wrong I hurt for her and wished I had known it sooner ,but am glad in way that we know what it is now and hope she can get better so she can live a independant  life . As a parent how do you help them gain there independance and is hdhd something they will always have to live with? Does it get better ? 

Quoting MamiJaAyla:

with ADHD there is more impulsivity, less thinking b/f you speak, harder time focusing etc.

HOWEVER, after reading your posts and having them stick in my head I have a couple of questions:

-  Was your dd kinda like this before?  Hard to focus can't still still etc.

-  She may (prob. does have ) ADHD BUT with some of  your commnets and the idea I've gotten that this all super pronounced right now I have to mention that there is a possibility that your dd may also be doing drugs.  This is especially not rare with kids that are ADD b/c self medication is pretty common but also with any kids.  In Job Corp she WAS exposed to a LOT of different kids and life styles etc.  and having know kids that went to job corp in many of the cases I knew it was sort of a last ditch effort to straighten them out (they already did drugs, had issues, may have been in juvie etc.)

so I just have to throw it out there. 


bizebe
by on Jan. 2, 2014 at 8:37 PM

I agree kids are always different with friends than they are there parents! 

Quoting momkelly2:

Personally I think it  shows bad habbits she picked up as school.     I know both of my kids talk the way their friends do..   though they work hard to curb it at home because they know I don't like it.  


MamiJaAyla
by on Jan. 2, 2014 at 8:44 PM
1 mom liked this

ADHD is sometimes something that gets better with time but for many its lifelong.  My brother is ADHD as well.  I'd strongly recommend reading ADDitude and other books that deal with ADD and adulthood b/c the issues are a little different than those of a child.

Yes ADHD is an issue, yes it can make it harder to do somethings BUT it is ALSO an advantage.  The ability to multitask and to think out of the box etc. is great.

It is NOT something you "talk" through (although I don't discount the "talk" part to deal with some of the fallouts of it) it IS something that with "life coaching" / behavioral therapy can be managed.  Medication can also help.  OTher things are to rule out co existing issues such as learning disabilities etc.  at this point in her life depression is very easily an issue as well.  

Quoting bizebe:

Thank you well her dad and I wondered the same thing but we feel it is hdhd cause she did have these issues before but not as bad, she has always struggled in school cause of feeling she didnt fit in n made lot of friends in jobcorp although I have to question how good they were for her . Her dad n I felt she could go there n learn a trade which she did but I wasnt aware at time what kind of kids shed be around. She was asked if she did drugs n she said no it was her hdhd since being out after she graduated she has been to counceling and will be seeing a dr ,but the counselor does feel she has adhd and recommended her to dr to see if she can get some meds. Her behavoiur I feel is from kids she was around ,but the not focusing she had before going in and other things that make sense to me now I didnt see before she would forget things she wanted to say, zone out in conversation, forgetting things all the time even before jobcorp, umm having hard time following thru she would get fustrated alot  felt she wasnt as smart as other kids but being parent its hard to pinpoint whats wrong I hurt for her and wished I had known it sooner ,but am glad in way that we know what it is now and hope she can get better so she can live a independant  life . As a parent how do you help them gain there independance and is hdhd something they will always have to live with? Does it get better ? 

Quoting MamiJaAyla:

with ADHD there is more impulsivity, less thinking b/f you speak, harder time focusing etc.

HOWEVER, after reading your posts and having them stick in my head I have a couple of questions:

-  Was your dd kinda like this before?  Hard to focus can't still still etc.

-  She may (prob. does have ) ADHD BUT with some of  your commnets and the idea I've gotten that this all super pronounced right now I have to mention that there is a possibility that your dd may also be doing drugs.  This is especially not rare with kids that are ADD b/c self medication is pretty common but also with any kids.  In Job Corp she WAS exposed to a LOT of different kids and life styles etc.  and having know kids that went to job corp in many of the cases I knew it was sort of a last ditch effort to straighten them out (they already did drugs, had issues, may have been in juvie etc.)

so I just have to throw it out there. 



bizebe
by on Jan. 2, 2014 at 9:09 PM

Thank you !!

Quoting MamiJaAyla:

ADHD is sometimes something that gets better with time but for many its lifelong.  My brother is ADHD as well.  I'd strongly recommend reading ADDitude and other books that deal with ADD and adulthood b/c the issues are a little different than those of a child.

Yes ADHD is an issue, yes it can make it harder to do somethings BUT it is ALSO an advantage.  The ability to multitask and to think out of the box etc. is great.

It is NOT something you "talk" through (although I don't discount the "talk" part to deal with some of the fallouts of it) it IS something that with "life coaching" / behavioral therapy can be managed.  Medication can also help.  OTher things are to rule out co existing issues such as learning disabilities etc.  at this point in her life depression is very easily an issue as well.  

Quoting bizebe:

Thank you well her dad and I wondered the same thing but we feel it is hdhd cause she did have these issues before but not as bad, she has always struggled in school cause of feeling she didnt fit in n made lot of friends in jobcorp although I have to question how good they were for her . Her dad n I felt she could go there n learn a trade which she did but I wasnt aware at time what kind of kids shed be around. She was asked if she did drugs n she said no it was her hdhd since being out after she graduated she has been to counceling and will be seeing a dr ,but the counselor does feel she has adhd and recommended her to dr to see if she can get some meds. Her behavoiur I feel is from kids she was around ,but the not focusing she had before going in and other things that make sense to me now I didnt see before she would forget things she wanted to say, zone out in conversation, forgetting things all the time even before jobcorp, umm having hard time following thru she would get fustrated alot  felt she wasnt as smart as other kids but being parent its hard to pinpoint whats wrong I hurt for her and wished I had known it sooner ,but am glad in way that we know what it is now and hope she can get better so she can live a independant  life . As a parent how do you help them gain there independance and is hdhd something they will always have to live with? Does it get better ? 

Quoting MamiJaAyla:

with ADHD there is more impulsivity, less thinking b/f you speak, harder time focusing etc.

HOWEVER, after reading your posts and having them stick in my head I have a couple of questions:

-  Was your dd kinda like this before?  Hard to focus can't still still etc.

-  She may (prob. does have ) ADHD BUT with some of  your commnets and the idea I've gotten that this all super pronounced right now I have to mention that there is a possibility that your dd may also be doing drugs.  This is especially not rare with kids that are ADD b/c self medication is pretty common but also with any kids.  In Job Corp she WAS exposed to a LOT of different kids and life styles etc.  and having know kids that went to job corp in many of the cases I knew it was sort of a last ditch effort to straighten them out (they already did drugs, had issues, may have been in juvie etc.)

so I just have to throw it out there. 




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