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Is it wrong?

Posted by on Mar. 8, 2009 at 4:09 AM
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Is it wrong for me to check on my sister? She is a member of a ...well...fetish forum online. You don't need to be a meber to read. I check in on there and search her name every so often. that is how i know she finally arrived in New York safely. I want to cut her out of my life, but I sorta feel awful. This is going to sound really horrible but I wanted to see her remoursful about how she left. Everytime I go there I see posts on how unsupportive her family was. how I pushed her to run away. How her running away is teaching her daughter how strong a woman can be. This just seems to anger me more. It seems she is painting herself a maryter and me a beast. I am here, still getting calls from her MIL, and now collect calls i have to keep declining from prison from Allie's dad. He gets out next week and i know he will be calling every day. they think she will contact me.The idiots. I let them think she is still in Texas, I am a fool. I just have such guilty thoughts. i feel like ahorrible person at times. I want her to hurt. I am lying to Allie's father who wants onlyto find his daughter. I don't like this situation but the more I try to draw away the more I seem to feel guilt and angry.


by on Mar. 8, 2009 at 4:09 AM
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Qivarys
by on Mar. 8, 2009 at 1:44 PM

I know what you mean. You want her to see the error of her ways, hoping that if it hurts her, she'll learn and become more mature. It doesn't seem to be going that way, unfortunately. She sounds like a roommate I had once. She feeds off of the pity of others. She craves attention and if making herself seem the martyr works, she continues it. I used to do that too...when I was in JR HIGH! I'm glad that you still have a way of checking in on her though. Even if what she's saying is hurtful, at least you can still have an idea of where she is and how her daughter is doing. I still check in on some people I cut out my life by checking their myspace pages (if they're not blocked). It could be morbid curiousity, but I do it because no matter how much they've hurt me, I still care a little.  I'm not sure what to say about Allie's dad. I don't have the full details on the situation that put him in prison, or how he interacted with Allie prior to being sent away. But I'm sure at some point he will find them on his own if he really cares that much. I don't think it should be up to you to tell them what you've found online. Your sis didn't personally contact you, so it's not like you're completely withholding information...it's something they can find on their own.

Hope you have a calm rest of your weekend!

mommyjulia
by on Mar. 9, 2009 at 12:38 PM

It is totally natural for you to be curious about your sister and your neice. You sound like most moms would be. The unfortunate part about digging is that you often find yourself stepping in crap. Most people often only see the world through their own eyes forgetting that the other people in their lifes go through a lot of hell too. As far as her being a strong woman . . . well I don't know everything, but it seems that you have been thrown in a spot where you have to be the stronger one. Anyways, I say that there is nothing wrong with checking up on her and making sure that they are safe, just make sure that you wipe all the crap off every time. As for the dad and in laws in all this, your the only one that can make the choice on what to tell them. I don't lie to people unless it's to protect someone from harm, but it wouldn't be a lie if you said that she left, didn't tell you where she was going and hasn't contacted you since. Good luck to you in all this. Oh ya ;-) my mom says that every family has a black sheep, I'd say that would be your sister as is my sister too.

MrsCuniculus
by on Mar. 10, 2009 at 4:41 PM

Thanks for hearin g me out. i need to stop checking she only depresses me. She is a grown woman and usually the things she does upsets me, she is the pertpetual victpm. As for the father he is no good. this was his 5th time in prison. criminal mischeif (huffing frione out of people's AC's) and pushing his mom out of a moving vehicle drove him into prison.


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