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Humorscope Feb 9

Posted by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 4:05 AM
  • 10 Replies

When more and more people are thrown out of work, unemployment results.

Former U.S. President Calvin Coolidge

 

 

Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Today you will buy a package of those birthday-party confetti-blaster
 thingies, and will rig booby traps for several of your friends. One of
 them will die of a heart-attack, due to the surprise, and you'll be plagued
with horrible undying guilt for the rest of your life. Plus, you will run out of toothpaste
today.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Today you will discover a hair growing in an odd place. Don't worry about it,
 unless the odd place is your eye.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
You will lurk, today. There's nothing that wrong with lurking, after all,
and it's occasionally somewhat refreshing. In fact, you'll soon begin
work on How To Lurk, a best-selling self-help book on the topic.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
You will declare war on ham, today. Possibly on all pork, not just ham.
Why? Nobody will know.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Today you'll go buy a white jacket, and start working towards your dream:
the resurgence of Disco! And you'll be successful, too! Yes, over the course
of your life, you'll get literally several people interested.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You will be followed by people who look suspiciously like shoe salesmen.
 Try to remain calm -- they can sense fear.
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
Nobody knows the trouble you've seen. Let's just hope you can somehow
 keep it that way!
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Today you will meet Klive Dinky, the proprietor of Klive Dinky's Tropical Dream
Vacation, and Spa Salon. He will turn out to be much shorter than you ever imagined.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Today you will receive an odd postcard from a long lost relative in Peru.
He will invite you to come explore an ancient Incan ruin which he has
discovered. Try not to be too impulsive -- a better offer will soon arrive from
a an old high school friend who is hiding out in a Burmese monastery.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
You will be attacked by a man wielding a ham sandwich. Fortunately, you will
remember your self-defense lessons, and should be able to drive him off using
a bunch of celery.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
You will develop a strange fascination with steamed vegetables. Which is OK.
 Much better than, say, an enthusiasm for steamed toast. (Whenever someone
asks me what kind of toast I want, I always say "To Friends, Old and New!")
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
You've been getting tired of the same old "look", day after day. Maybe you should
get a tattoo? I'll bet people with tattoos never get tired of 'em!

by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 4:05 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MistressMinerva
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 4:16 AM
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
You will develop a strange fascination with steamed vegetables. Which is OK. Much better than, say, an enthusiasm for steamed toast. (Whenever someone asks me what kind of toast I want, I always say "To Friends, Old and New!")
frndlyfn
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 6:19 AM


Quoting MistressMinerva:

Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
You will develop a strange fascination with steamed vegetables. Which is OK. Much better than, say, an enthusiasm for steamed toast. (Whenever someone asks me what kind of toast I want, I always say "To Friends, Old and New!")

Did you get the PM i sent?

DanielleK21
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 8:31 AM

 I hope I dont declare war on pork I ordered a half of pig. LOL

4kidz916
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 9:03 AM
You will be followed by people who look suspiciously like shoe salesmen.
 Try to remain calm -- they can sense fear.
LOL  I could use a new pair of shoes.
1busymomma03
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 9:29 AM
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Today you will discover a hair growing in an odd place. Don't worry about it,
 unless the odd place is your eye.
LMAO...WTH?
4kidz916
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 9:31 AM

ROFL at Taurus. 

1busymomma03
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 9:36 AM

LOL. I know, right? I wonder where the heck I'm going to start growing hair?!? hahaha

Quoting 4kidz916:

ROFL at Taurus. 


fineyouguyswin
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 11:44 AM

AAAhhhhhh!!!! I'm out of celery!

 

Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
You will be attacked by a man wielding a ham sandwich. Fortunately, you will
remember your self-defense lessons, and should be able to drive him off using
a bunch of celery.
frndlyfn
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 3:19 PM
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
You will lurk, today. There's nothing that wrong with lurking, after all,
and it's occasionally somewhat refreshing. In fact, you'll soon begin
work on How To Lurk, a best-selling self-help book on the topic.     --  Can i count on you girls to buy  my book?
MistressMinerva
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 3:23 PM


Quoting frndlyfn:


Quoting MistressMinerva:

Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
You will develop a strange fascination with steamed vegetables. Which is OK. Much better than, say, an enthusiasm for steamed toast. (Whenever someone asks me what kind of toast I want, I always say "To Friends, Old and New!")

Did you get the PM i sent?

yes I got the PM, still working on what I can come up with. It's not been easy trying to come up with something. I did have some friends help with finding some scrapkits for me but it's just trying to figure out how I want the siggy to look.

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