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Humorscope March 2

Posted by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 4:27 AM
  • 6 Replies

Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Good day to start saving up for that electron microscope you've always wanted. I hear Sears will be having a big sale on them this fall.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
As Buckaroo Banzai said, "No matter where you go, there you are." Oddly, this will not be entirely the case for you, today.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Remember that silly song The Monster Mash? Beginning today, you will start sounding a lot like the lead singer in that song.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
You will develop a passion for Cajun cuisine, and will refuse to eat anything that hasn't been "blackened." Your family will draw the line at blackened corn flakes, however.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Excellent day for a bubble bath. If you don't have a little yellow rubber ducky, you'll need to get that first, of course.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You will get the peculiar urge to go outside and roll around in something yucky. Also, you'll notice your ears are getting hairy.
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
You will decide to change your life by taking up fishing. Unlike the average person, however, you will be "strictly bass". One must have standards, after all.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Good day to power-walk. It not only looks silly, it is silly.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Good day to bring donuts to a meeting. Later, ask people how their diets are going.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
Good day to get a potted plant for your office, which you should name "Throckmorton". (The plant, not the office. Obviously, "Throckmorton" is a completely inappropriate name for an office. "Wiggins" is a good name for your office, if it doesn't already have a name.)
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
You will inherit millions, along with a rather elderly butler named Hodgson. You'll have a nice time.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
After an exciting trip to Jackson Hole, Wyoming, you'll come up with a secret plan that will occupy you for many years to come. Yes - your very own Hole.

by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 4:27 AM
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Replies (1-6):
frndlyfn
by on Mar. 3, 2011 at 2:56 AM
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Remember that silly song The Monster Mash? Beginning today, you will start sounding a lot like the lead singer in that song.
 My voice isnt that bad anyhows i didnt sing today.
4kidz916
by on Mar. 3, 2011 at 8:54 AM

I'm a Virgo and luckily this didn't happen to me yesterday.

MistressMinerva
by on Mar. 3, 2011 at 12:14 PM
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
You will inherit millions, along with a rather elderly butler named Hodgson. You'll have a nice time.
Maries_Mom23
by on Mar. 3, 2011 at 12:17 PM

I'm an Aquarius...that one was funny.

melaniecerise
by on Mar. 3, 2011 at 12:50 PM
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
You will inherit millions, along with a rather elderly butler named Hodgson. You'll have a nice time.
This sounds great as long as it is millions of dollars and that butler does not come anywhere near me
Kimberlynn
by on Mar. 3, 2011 at 1:00 PM
My Bday Is On Jan. 20. Some Months I Am An Aquarious And The Others I Am Cap. Damn, This Month I Am Stuck With A Plant! I Want The Money And Butler Instead! L O L!
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