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Humorscope March 28

Posted by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 3:04 AM
  • 10 Replies

Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Today old Monty Python skits will keep running, unbidden, through your mind. The only cure will be to be to drink a glass of a fine Australian wine, which has a bouquet like an aborigine's armpit.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Through a casual remark in an elevator, you will realise that both you and your fellow passenger have seen John Cleese's informational film called How To Irritate People. By the time you reach the 10th floor, you will both be severely vexed with one another.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Excellent day to devour fruit, while making snarling sounds and glaring at persons nearby. Next, tear the heads off the carnations and stuff them partway up your nose, and make strange wuffling sounds while vigorously wiggling your eyebrows. Or don't, if you're going to be stuffy. It's your life.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Beware of being cautious, today.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
In a savage reaction against what you view as New Age Wooly-Mindedness, you will write a best-selling book titled I'm Ok, You're A Twerp. Later, people will often regard you as having "defined" the current decade.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You will get one of those pre-mixed salads in a new high-tech bag that "breathes". Or, in this case, wheezes.
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
You know that how you dress will inevitably send a message to those around you. In this case, your message is "Help! Help!"
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Time to stop beating around the bush. Beat the bush itself. Give it a good thrashing, and say "bad bush!" in a loud stern tone.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
You will discover what Shakespeare actually meant, when he wrote "Hey nonny, nonny", in Much Ado About Nothing. It turns out that it was simply in-field chatter that somehow made it into the play, and that Shakespeare not only enjoyed softball, but was a reasonably good shortstop.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
You've about had it with one particular fool in your life. Have you considered investing in a tranquilizer gun? Mine comes in very handy, especially at work.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
You will discover a causative link between politics and food. While the liberalizing action of granola has long been commented upon, and the patriotism-enhancing qualities of apple pie are well established by now, you will go further. In fact, you will discover several other links. Fiscal Conservatism? Tuna Hot Dish. Reactionary Bible-thumping? Grits. Idealism? Pizza with artichokes. You'll even (eventually) uncover the link between saturated fat and Rush Limbaugh!
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
If you don't start relaxing a bit before lunch, you're going to develop a close cousin to IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) -- the dreaded Disgruntled Stomache.

by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 3:04 AM
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Replies (1-10):
fineyouguyswin
by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 9:27 AM

lol

 

Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
You've about had it with one particular fool in your life. Have you considered investing in a tranquilizer gun? Mine comes in very handy, especially at work.
1busymomma03
by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 9:43 AM

LOL. I have a doctor's appointment at the hospital today. I wonder who I'm going to end up in the elevator with... I know DH will be there with me..I sure hope he doesn't get on my nerves today. LOL

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Through a casual remark in an elevator, you will realise that both you and your fellow passenger have seen John Cleese's informational film called How To Irritate People. By the time you reach the 10th floor, you will both be severely vexed with one another.
fineyouguyswin
by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 9:46 AM

lol keep us updated mwahaha!

Quoting 1busymomma03:

LOL. I have a doctor's appointment at the hospital today. I wonder who I'm going to end up in the elevator with... I know DH will be there with me..I sure hope he doesn't get on my nerves today. LOL

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Through a casual remark in an elevator, you will realise that both you and your fellow passenger have seen John Cleese's informational film called How To Irritate People. By the time you reach the 10th floor, you will both be severely vexed with one another.


1busymomma03
by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 9:49 AM

LOL. I will. It's so funny how a few of these have came true for me.. One time it said I was going to pretend that I was a cartoon character in public... Who would think that would come true??..but it did. haha. I was at the doctor's office and DD and I were playing with some little Dora toys. I was pretending to be Diego and Boots while we were waiting. LOL

Quoting fineyouguyswin:

lol keep us updated mwahaha!

Quoting 1busymomma03:

LOL. I have a doctor's appointment at the hospital today. I wonder who I'm going to end up in the elevator with... I know DH will be there with me..I sure hope he doesn't get on my nerves today. LOL

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Through a casual remark in an elevator, you will realise that both you and your fellow passenger have seen John Cleese's informational film called How To Irritate People. By the time you reach the 10th floor, you will both be severely vexed with one another.



fineyouguyswin
by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 9:50 AM

lmao that is funny. Alot of them are very true for me to.lol I although I have not lately beena  cartoon character in public.lol

Quoting 1busymomma03:

LOL. I will. It's so funny how a few of these have came true for me.. One time it said I was going to pretend that I was a cartoon character in public... Who would think that would come true??..but it did. haha. I was at the doctor's office and DD and I were playing with some little Dora toys. I was pretending to be Diego and Boots while we were waiting. LOL

Quoting fineyouguyswin:

lol keep us updated mwahaha!

Quoting 1busymomma03:

LOL. I have a doctor's appointment at the hospital today. I wonder who I'm going to end up in the elevator with... I know DH will be there with me..I sure hope he doesn't get on my nerves today. LOL

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Through a casual remark in an elevator, you will realise that both you and your fellow passenger have seen John Cleese's informational film called How To Irritate People. By the time you reach the 10th floor, you will both be severely vexed with one another.




frndlyfn
by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 6:40 PM

oh dear  my allergies are flaring.....

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Excellent day to devour fruit, while making snarling sounds and glaring at persons nearby. Next, tear the heads off the carnations and stuff them partway up your nose, and make strange wuffling sounds while vigorously wiggling your eyebrows. Or don't, if you're going to be stuffy. It's your life.
wingsfan1234
by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 6:45 PM
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
You know that how you dress will inevitably send a message to those around you. In this case, your message is "Help! Help!"
4kidz916
by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 6:52 PM
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)

You will get one of those pre-mixed salads in a new high-tech bag that "breathes". Or, in this case, wheezes

lol

MistressMinerva
by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 7:01 PM
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
You will discover a causative link between politics and food. While the liberalizing action of granola has long been commented upon, and the patriotism-enhancing qualities of apple pie are well established by now, you will go further. In fact, you will discover several other links. Fiscal Conservatism? Tuna Hot Dish. Reactionary Bible-thumping? Grits. Idealism? Pizza with artichokes. You'll even (eventually) uncover the link between saturated fat and Rush Limbaugh!
frndlyfn
by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 10:47 PM

hahaha  Sat. fat and rush limbaugh.  That i believe.

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