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Humorscope June 4

Posted by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 5:03 AM
  • 8 Replies

"The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy." -- Sam Levenson

 

 

Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Someone will attempt to get you to stay in one place today, by telling you that you are surrounded
 by 100 black poisonous snakes (which are invisible). You will make a daring escape, despite the
 risk involved.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Today will be Mexican Food day, for you. In fact, chances are better than 1 in 3 that someone will
 refer to you as "Frijole-breath" before the day is through.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Good time to consider capitalizing on the wave of 70's nostalgia that is sweeping the land. Why
 not try making shag carpeting? At least you should sit around in your beanbag chairs and discuss it.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Today you will have a sudden and brilliant idea for how to eliminate the U.S. federal deficit. "Let's
 all just pretend there isn't one!", you'll say.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Through a casual remark in an elevator, you will realize that both you and your fellow passenger
 have seen John Cleese's informational film called How To Irritate People. By the time you reach
the 10th floor, you will both be severely vexed with one another.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You know that how you dress will inevitably send a message to those around you. In this case,
 your message is "Help! Help!"
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
You will stack furniture in the bathtub, today. That's just the sort of thing you would do, your friends
 will say.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
You will discover what Shakespeare actually meant, when he wrote "Hey nonny, nonny", in
 Much Ado About Nothing. It turns out that it was simply in-field chatter that somehow made it
 into the play, and that Shakespeare not only enjoyed softball, but was a reasonably good shortstop.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
It will occur to you to wonder, what if Jesus had actually said "The geek shall inherit the earth", but
was just misquoted? Then you'll think of Bill Gates. Then you'll start to worry.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
You will discover the secret to becoming a great artist! You can stick anything you want on the wall,
 the trick is to make people think deep thought went into it. For example, spray-paint a bathroom
plunger gold, and stick little angel wings on it. Call it "Life In The Details".
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
To your chagrin and horror, you will find yourself humming along with "muzac" in the grocery store.
 It's the beginning of the long slow slide, I'm afraid. Next stop: collecting "nick nacks".
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
You will come up with an idea for cutting down on the customer service calls that your company
gets. Unfortunately, there just aren't enough people with Tourette Syndrome available for hire.

 

by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 5:03 AM
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Replies (1-8):
Maries_Mom23
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 6:53 AM
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
To your chagrin and horror, you will find yourself humming along with "muzac" in the grocery store.
 It's the beginning of the long slow slide, I'm afraid. Next stop: collecting "nick nacks".
4kidz916
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 8:27 AM
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You know that how you dress will inevitably send a message to those around you. In this case,
 your message is "Help! Help!"
lol
goorob
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 2:17 PM

Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Today you will have a sudden and brilliant idea for how to eliminate the U.S. federal deficit. "Let's
 all just pretend there isn't one!", you'll say.
Isn't that pretty much how the government acts most of the time anyway?  That's how they spend most of the time anyway.
toybar02
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 2:25 PM
Aries- someone will attempt to get you to stay in one place today, by telling you that you are surrounded by 100 black poisonous snakes (which are invisible). You will make a daring escape, despite the risk involved.
DanielleK21
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 2:30 PM

 Yea we already tried to forget there is a debt. :)

frndlyfn
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 4:51 PM

well dang i gave away my bean bag chair a few years ago........... 

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Good time to consider capitalizing on the wave of 70's nostalgia that is sweeping the land. Why
 not try making shag carpeting? At least you should sit around in your beanbag chairs and discuss it
MistressMinerva
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 8:32 PM
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
To your chagrin and horror, you will find yourself humming along with "muzac" in the grocery store.
 It's the beginning of the long slow slide, I'm afraid. Next stop: collecting "nick nacks".
fineyouguyswin
by on Jun. 5, 2011 at 9:33 PM

lol

Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
You will discover the secret to becoming a great artist! You can stick anything you want on the wall,
 the trick is to make people think deep thought went into it. For example, spray-paint a bathroom

plunger gold, and stick little angel wings on it. Call it "Life In The Details"

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