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Humorscope July 8

Posted by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 5:49 AM
  • 8 Replies

Its not the size of the dog in the fight, its the size of the fight in the dog.

 

 

Aries (March 21 - April 19)
After years of study in higher mathematics, and a fiendishly complicated topological
 proof, you will finally be able to prove that half a loaf is exactly 7.412 times better than
 no bread.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Today you will learn how to tell the difference between an octopus and a cuttlefish. Aside,
 that is, from the octopus' greater problem solving capability.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
This will be a day filled with tragically many sneezes. At least it'll be a good opportunity
 to learn how to sneeze "cute."
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Not only is this a good day to throw a tantrum, but there's a good chance that you might
set a new distance record!
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
You will be visited by missionaries today, and will finally have an excellent opportunity to
slip into your demon costume before opening the door.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
A very short and hairy person will bother you today. Unfortunately, you will be unable to
 ignore them, try though you might.
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
At the same moment you read this, someone will be thinking about you and smiling. In
a moment, they'll be laughing outright.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Good time to learn to play the harmonica. If you get one of those coat hanger thingies to
 hang around your neck, you can even play it while you're typing!
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
You will have more psychotronic energy today than usual. I recommend that you direct it
towards the fridge. There's something alive in there.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
Excellent day for a bubble bath. If you don't have a little yellow rubber duckie, you'll need to
get that first, of course.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
You will begin a spiritual journey. The karmic chaos which has surrounded you
 begins to settle into a new pattern. Also, you will become strangely fascinated by
electric juicers.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Your perfume or cologne has too much patchoulli. Only an idiot wears patchoulli.
Or a witch. Hmm. Er, never mind. Wear whatever you like. I'm sure it's quite nice.

 

by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 5:49 AM
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Replies (1-8):
tickled_pink09
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 5:50 AM
I now want bread
frndlyfn
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 5:51 AM
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
This will be a day filled with tragically many sneezes. At least it'll be a good opportunity
 to learn how to sneeze "cute."
Maries_Mom23
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 7:42 AM
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
You will begin a spiritual journey. The karmic chaos which has surrounded you
 begins to settle into a new pattern. Also, you will become strangely fascinated by
electric juicers.
4kidz916
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 8:53 AM
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
A very short and hairy person will bother you today. Unfortunately, you will be unable to
 ignore them, try though you might.
melaniecerise
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 11:52 AM
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
You will begin a spiritual journey. The karmic chaos which has surrounded you
 begins to settle into a new pattern. Also, you will become strangely fascinated by
electric juicers.
oddly enough I am fascinated by juicers
olivejuicebby
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 12:35 PM

Gotta get me a juicer ;)

goorob
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 5:19 PM

Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Not only is this a good day to throw a tantrum, but there's a good chance that you might
set a new distance record!
Ha!
frndlyfn
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 7:48 PM

I havent sneezed much but my guy has and he is a gemini as well.

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