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Humorscope Aug 19

Posted by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 6:17 AM
  • 5 Replies

Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Today someone sitting near you will make repeated nasal sounds that will eventually drive you screaming from the room. Try to avoid attacking them with a box of kleenex upon re-entering the room.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You are being watched. Act casual (i.e. pretend you are wearing blue jeans and a t-shirt).
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Today you will discover an astounding new use for celery, and it will make you rich beyond your wildest dreams.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Tiddly wink day. Make it count.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Someone nearby will read something out loud to you soon, which you might consider fairly obvious - such as "Blows to the head are a common cause of brain damage." The best reply to this is "Huh?"
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
In a strange form of protest against the new trends in personal adornment, you will make mooing sounds whenever you see someone with a nose ring. Coincidentally, some of them will say "Hay!"
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
You will soon need to look older than you actually are. Bushy eyebrows generally do the trick. You'll find that a little rubber cement and a pair of sleepy hamsters are just what you need.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Today you will be struck by the notion that "Life is like one of those little cars that the Shriners get to drive". You have a mind of great depth and profundity.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Today you will be struck by the notion that "Life is like one of those little cars that the Shriners get to drive". You have a mind of great depth and profundity.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
People are starting to take you a bit too seriously. Try wearing your bunny slippers to work.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
A good time to learn to laugh at yourself. Or, develop multiple personalities! That way you won't be laughing at you, you'll be laughing with you.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Those spiders are growing larger around your house, and it's becoming more of a challenge to escape. You may want to consider acquiring a flame thrower. (Hint: illicit nuclear dump nearby.)

by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 6:17 AM
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Replies (1-5):
wingsfan1234
by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 9:15 AM
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
You will soon need to look older than you actually are. Bushy eyebrows generally do the trick. You'll find that a little rubber cement and a pair of sleepy hamsters are just what you need.
4kidz916
by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 9:50 AM
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)

In a strange form of protest against the new trends in personal adornment, you will make mooing sounds whenever you see someone with a nose ring. Coincidentally, some of them will say "Hay!

 

LOL!!!

melaniecerise
by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 11:45 AM
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
A good time to learn to laugh at yourself. Or, develop multiple personalities! That way you won't be laughing at you, you'll be laughing with you.
great advice
frndlyfn
by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 4:05 PM
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Today you will discover an astounding new use for celery, and it will make you rich beyond your wildest dreams.
goorob
by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 10:25 PM

Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Tiddly wink day. Make it count.
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