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Humorscope Sept 14

Posted by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 4:00 AM
  • 9 Replies

Aries (March 21 - April 19)
An old flame will call today, and invite you to lunch. It's actually a trick to try to get you involved with AmWay. Also, check page 5 of the newspaper for something you've been waiting for.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Excellent day to whistle off key. Random starts and stops are also good.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Today you will watch something like a hawk. Basically, you do that by having unblinking beady little eyes, and a brain the size of a peanut.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Today you will lose all self-control. You'll find it again tomorrow, though -- it just rolled under the couch.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
You will overhear people talking about you today, and realize that you have a reputation as a real stud hombre cyber-muffin. You will find that intensely irritating.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You will be in a somewhat ornery mood when you go out to an Italian restaurant tonight. You will insist on chopsticks.
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
Beware of short people.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
You will see an ancient symbol appearing in the whorls of your fingerprints. That, combined with the dreams of apocalypse may make you worry. I wouldn't though -- it's just a vitamin B12 deficiency.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Good day to count your blessings. Both of them.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
Good day to bring donuts to a meeting. Later, ask people how their diets are going.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
Today will be mostly OK, except that you'll learn to pay more attention in the future to the phrase "Careful, filling is hot!".
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
So. You let your "mole plants" die. Now the moles are back, and this time they mean business. No more Mr. Nice Mole. Try burying a line of eucalyptus cough drops along your property line. If that doesn't work, there's a chance you can buy a nuclear warhead from Ukraine.

by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 4:00 AM
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Replies (1-9):
4kidz916
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 7:16 AM
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You will be in a somewhat ornery mood when you go out to an Italian restaurant tonight. You will insist on chopsticks.
1busymomma03
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 8:46 AM
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Excellent day to whistle off key. Random starts and stops are also good.
fineyouguyswin
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 8:49 AM

normally I'd bring doughnuts but my tummy hurts :O(

melaniecerise
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 11:05 AM

I pay attention now

 

Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
Today will be mostly OK, except that you'll learn to pay more attention in the future to the phrase "Careful, filling is hot!".
frndlyfn
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 11:21 AM
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Today you will watch something like a hawk. Basically, you do that by having unblinking beady little eyes, and a brain the size of a peanut.
kast03
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 1:00 PM
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Good day to count your blessings. Both of them. 

I  know these are suppose to be humorous and it is, but actually...I do have 2 blessings...my dh and dd.  I could look at it in a broader sense and say my whole family and my health too.  I feel blessed everyday and I'm very happy with my life.
wingsfan1234
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 1:24 PM

LOL @ Libra!!

beware of short people not many people are shorter than I am unless they're kids!

daiseymae2
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 2:11 PM

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Today you will watch something like a hawk. Basically, you do that by having unblinking beady little eyes, and a brain the size of a peanut.
DanielleK21
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 6:13 PM
Yea thats right i have lost my self control today
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