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Humorscope February 8

Posted by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 3:53 AM
  • 3 Replies

 Aries (March 21 - April 19)

Today you will lose all self-control. You'll find it again tomorrow, though -- it just rolled under the couch.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Excellent day to get involved in one or more conspiracies. If you can hold secret meetings in darkened rooms, so much the better!
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Today you will discover a little book called "1001 Names For Your Pet." You should probably name your next pet either "Pope John Paul" or "No Clothes On." That way you can say things like "Pope John Paul peed on the rug, again" or "I'm going for a walk with No Clothes On."
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Today is an especially bad day to try something new involving explosives. Try to keep a low profile.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Someone will ask you what you want to do this weekend. That may seem like a good time to say "What am I, psychic?" It's not, though.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
After today the following expression will no longer strike you as being in the least bit amusing: "Friends help friends move. Real friends help friends move bodies."
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
You will dream about arrows without points, tonight, and it will have a deeply spiritual significance for you. You won't know what to make of the episode with the lime jello, though.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
And old friend will call today, who you haven't talked to in years. He'll remind you that you owe him money.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
You will be followed by an evil-looking man in an old green Ford pickup truck. Surprisingly, it will turn out that following people is just his hobby, and you have nothing to worry about.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
Someone who you really dislike, who is arrogance personified...will be nice to you. This is a good time to be afraid.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
Your requests are being ignored. Often you can get people to pay attention by simply adding a few words to the end of your request, such as "Pick up your socks, dear, or die screaming."
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
You find that after all these years, you are finally beginning to conquer your fears. You will find that oddly frightening.
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 3:53 AM
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Replies (1-3):
1busymomma03
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 9:17 AM
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Excellent day to get involved in one or more conspiracies. If you can hold secret meetings in darkened rooms, so much the better!

LOL! Anyone want to join me for some conspiracies? ha!
Maries_Mom23
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 9:50 AM

Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
Your requests are being ignored. Often you can get people to pay attention by simply adding a few words to the end of your request, such as "Pick up your socks, dear, or die screaming."

LMAO...I love this one!
melaniecerise
by on Feb. 10, 2012 at 11:10 AM

aquarius- i know my requests are being ignored

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