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Humorscope Feb 12

Posted by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 4:07 AM
  • 4 Replies

 Aries (March 21 - April 19)

Today you will make new friends, one of whom will eventually borrow a large sum of money from you, prior to skipping town. Try to avoid fatty foods.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You will discover that you can raise one eyebrow by itself, but not the other. This will aggravate you, and you'll spend the majority of the day in front of the bathroom mirror, trying to correct the situation.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Due to a bump on the head today, you will lose all memory of what you did with your keys. Or at least, that always makes a dandy excuse.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
You will hear a strange "clicking" sound today, as you are walking through the kitchen. Time to trim the toenails, don't you think?
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Everyone you work with will bring Kim Chee for lunch, today. They're just doing it to be difficult.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
This week you will feel like corn. Just not like having any.
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
Remember that those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it. Normally that's not a big deal, but since your accounting department just changed its name to "The Mongol Horde", you might take notice.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Slow day today. Surprisingly, it will be due to a time/space anomaly caused by a localised anti-tachyon surge, and will mainly occur in your neighbourhood. Time-flow should return to normal soon.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Your plans for a do-it-yourself replica medieval catapult will arrive today! Soon, your neighbours will become nervous (but you can explain that their fears are groundless -- you couldn't possibly hit anything that close with it).
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
You will be followed by people who look suspiciously like shoe salesmen. Try to remain calm -- they can sense fear.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
Excellent time to take up weasel ranching. Or at least to claim that's what you do, at parties.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
This might be a good time to decide what you want to be when you actually do grow up. I'm guessing that you'd be best off as either a yodeling oceanographer, or possibly a bovine pathologist.
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 4:07 AM
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Replies (1-4):
daiseymae2
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 4:39 AM

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Due to a bump on the head today, you will lose all memory of what you did with your keys. Or at least, that always makes a dandy excuse.
jenniferw10
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 1:50 PM
Thanks!
frndlyfn
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 3:01 PM
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
This might be a good time to decide what you want to be when you actually do grow up. I'm guessing that you'd be best off as either a yodeling oceanographer, or possibly a bovine pathologist.
 
She is only 5.  I think we have time to figure out what she wants to be growing up.
melaniecerise
by on Feb. 13, 2012 at 8:59 AM

Aquarius- I dont like weasels

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