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Commandments of Marriage

Posted by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 3:34 AM
  • 13 Replies

Commandment 1 
 Marriages are made in heaven.
 But then again, so is thunder and lightning.

by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 3:34 AM
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frndlyfn
by Heather on Apr. 30, 2012 at 3:34 AM

 Commandment 2 
If you want your wife/husband to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, 
 talk in your sleep. 

frndlyfn
by Heather on Apr. 30, 2012 at 3:34 AM

Commandment 3 
Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least a 100 grand! 

frndlyfn
by Heather on Apr. 30, 2012 at 3:35 AM

 Commandment 4 
Married life is very frustrating.
 In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
 In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
 In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

frndlyfn
by Heather on Apr. 30, 2012 at 3:35 AM

Commandment 5 
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing:
 Either the car is new or the wife is. 

frndlyfn
by Heather on Apr. 30, 2012 at 3:35 AM

Commandment 6
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one;
 The trouble starts when they try to decide which one. 

frndlyfn
by Heather on Apr. 30, 2012 at 3:36 AM

 Commandment 7 
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said 
 After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish. 

frndlyfn
by Heather on Apr. 30, 2012 at 3:36 AM

Commandment 8
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook.
 But the law allows only one wife. 

frndlyfn
by Heather on Apr. 30, 2012 at 3:36 AM

Commandment 9 
 Marriage and love are purely a matter of chemistry.
 That is why one treats the other like toxic waste. 

frndlyfn
by Heather on Apr. 30, 2012 at 3:37 AM

Commandment 10 
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.

frndlyfn
by Heather on Apr. 30, 2012 at 3:37 AM

BONUS COMMANDMENT STORY

A long married couple came upon a wishing well. The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. 
 The husband decided to make a wish too. But he leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. 
 The wife was stunned for a moment, but then smiled, 'It really works!
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