This will be a post that everyone can share funny stories, jokes, emails and pictures.
You don't need to have a cat to see the funny in this one. You don't even have to
We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Year's Eve Party. We turned
on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet
and put the cat in the backyard.
We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and
we opened the front door to leave the house. As we walked out the door, the
cat we had put out in the yard, scooted back into the house. We didn't want
the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird. My wife
went on out to the taxi, while I went back inside to get the cat. The cat
ran upstairs, with me in hot pursuit.
Waiting in the cab, my wife didn't want the driver to know that the house
would be empty for the night, so she explained to the taxi driver
that I would be out soon, saying 'He's just going upstairs to say Goodbye to
A few minutes later, I got into the cab. 'Sorry I took so long,' I said, as
we drove away.. 'That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. I had to poke
her ass with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off, so
I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her
from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw
her out into the back yard! She'd better not shit in the vegetable garden
The silence in the cab was deafening.
After 35 years of
marriage, a husband and wife came for counseling.When asked what the
problem was, the wife went into a tirade listingEvery problem they had ever
had in the years they had been married.On and on and on: neglect, lack
of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness,Feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire
laundry list of unmet needsShe had endured.Finally, after allowing
this for a sufficient length of time, theTherapist got up, walked around the
desk and after asking the wife toStand, he embraced and kissed her long and
passionately as her husbandWatched - with a raised eyebrow.The woman
shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze.The therapist turned to
the husband and said, "This is what your wifeNeeds at least 3 times a week.
Can you do this?""Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and
Wednesdays, but onFridays, I play
Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: 'And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?' the reporter asked.. She simply replied, 'No peer pressure
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