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MY STORY if anyone can help

Posted by on Jun. 20, 2007 at 3:43 AM
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Hello My name is Marley I'm a single mother of a beautiful 18mo old daughter named Lilly I live in So Utah I work and go to school     and Im on assistance
Ive tried to google mothers rights and ALL I get a fathers right
SOOO here is my situation
ON 3/21/05 I became preg with my little girl at six weeks preg I found out
Ive loved my daughter from the begining even though I was very scared
her father would tell me things like "you did it on perpose"and"its not mine" "I just want to live for myself"and"you have ruined any chance for me to ever have a ligitamate child" 
So He shipped me offf to another state    you know out of sight out of mind
He never called and asked about how I was doing or even bother to show up for her birth or answer the phone while I was in labor for that matter
He takes no responsablity for himself and says that it is all my fault and he had a good reason to not answer the phone that day    completely guitless
5 mo after she was born he finally got the paternity test after me calling him once a WEEK to remind him to ( the courts said I could not set it up that it was his responsability )   she was 6 mo old when he came to see her for the 1st time and he sleept most of the time
then he didnt start pay child support untill AUG she was born in DEC
5 1/2 went by before he came to see her again and its only because I told him he should ( I wish I didnt ) in total he has seen her 4 times
the last time was easter 
He wants to take her to CO for how ever long 2 weeks a month how ever long
and doesnt see what my prob is with that because when he is here I will go to work and leave her with he doesnt understand that there is a differnce between me being 5 mins away and me being 9 hours away I told him NO  and I think it made him mad enough for him to try to take her from me
what should I do! I cant find any site about Utah mothers rights    Im very scared
She doesnt even know him I cant send my BABY 9 hours away with a complete stranger : /
help me please
by on Jun. 20, 2007 at 3:43 AM
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by on Jun. 20, 2007 at 7:53 PM
Don't send her.

He would have to get a court order for you to appear in court so that he can claim at least partial custody. And you can challenge that. Make sure you tell the judge about his non-involvement. And make sure to point out that he doesn't know how to take care or your daughter. Also, if you are still breast-feeding, he can't take her at all. AND, mention how far away(and out of state) he'd be taking her. My siblings and I were much older when my dad took my mom to court for custody, and we can't leave the state with my dad unless my mother says its ok.

You really don't have to send her with him! You have a choice. Don't let him bully you! You have more rights as the mother, and as the sole responsible party! Tell him no, and that he can take you to court if he really wants visitation.
by New Member on Jun. 21, 2007 at 1:28 AM
Even if he pays child suport?   He doesnt have any kind of orders for sustody and because he wasnt there for her birth he isnt on her birth certificate
I jsut cant find anything for this state....My cousin says she has a free legal # I can call she just needs to find it for me   Sometimes I pray that he will jsut forget about us
by on Jun. 21, 2007 at 2:52 PM
Even if he pays child support.

I know that in California if the father is not on the birth certificate before he can even file for custody he HAS to order a paternity test. And you can't do it, HE has to. Putting all the responsibility on him.

In my personal experience, thats too much responsibility for a guy to handle. Haha. But don't worry. He has no rights as he cannot at this time prove paternity of the child.
by on Jun. 21, 2007 at 6:30 PM
i am in utah as well and i've looked up on father's rights. he basically has none unless he fights for them and he will have to fight hard! tell him if he wants to take her, he'll have to go through court. chances are, from the sounds of it, he won't care that much and you won't have to worry. i have a friend who worked in the courts and she knows a lot of lawyers who would help you out for next to nothing.
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