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I want to meet my grandparents

Posted by on Jul. 31, 2007 at 10:41 AM
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Hi, names Debbie. My mom was adopted into a wonderful loving family and our family is so wonderful, but I am curious about my mom's bio family. I asked her a few times as a child if she wanted to know her parents and she always said she would feel like she's betraying her mom if she did that, though I have a feeling she does want to know.

Now that I'm an adult, I have tossed around the idea of looking for them myself because I really do want to know all about them! but I dont know how, if I should, or even could for that matter. So, I guess I'm just introducing myself and asking for advice.

Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love,
that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days

Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us,
for as many years as we have seen trouble.

~Psalm 90:14-15

by on Jul. 31, 2007 at 10:41 AM
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LiamsSillyMama
by Member on Aug. 1, 2007 at 9:34 AM
First,  what state was your Mom adopted in?  Some states are CLOSED adoption states,  meaning:  Adoptees records are sealed until the people who put that person up for adoption agree to have the records unsealed,  or they die (losing right to privacy).   If it's not a sealed records state,  that is a good start. 

Second,  I'm not sure that you have any 'right' to get that info,  without your Mom's permission.  (Although,  I personally feel EVERYONE should know EXACTLY where they came from!) 

So,  do you plan on doing this whole thing behind her back?  It may be HARD,  and may bring up some SERIOUSLY PAINFUL EMOTIONS!  Rejection,  is EXTREMELY hard to deal with.....especially,  mutliple rejections....

With that said,  I will help you,  in any way I can think of......just send me a personal message.  Also.....go back and read the last message I posted....it is LONG......but,  you should follow the same instructions.  Start at the ISRR and register her. 

Good luck in finding YOUR history!
Amanda
lovemyguys
by on Aug. 1, 2007 at 1:52 PM
honeslty, the more I think about it the more I feel like I dont even really care if I meet them I just want the info. I want to know who they are, where they're from, that kind of thing. I just want to know who I am really. Like you said. thats much mroe important to me that actually finding or meeting them.

I know my mom was adopted when she was 3 months old in Shelby, Mississippi. That's it.  I dont know if thats a closed state or not. I doubt I have any right to do that with out her consent but I'd really like to know.

Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love,
that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days

Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us,
for as many years as we have seen trouble.

~Psalm 90:14-15

LiamsSillyMama
by Member on Aug. 1, 2007 at 3:46 PM
Debbie-

Mississippi IS a closed state for adoption.  

Here is another option,  that would at least give you SOME medical,  and some ethnic information.  You could try a blood test.  They have SO many different tests now,  but here is a great site with more info....

http://www.myfamilytreedna.com  Look at the tests that center around your Maternal line. 
The mtDNA Plus is one you might be interested in.  And,  this site is HALF as expensive,  if not less,  than any other site I have come across. 

On another note,  do you think there is any chance your Mom has Native American blood?  This test will let you know for certain,  too!  Although,  the full panel,  seems like it will tell you more about genetic mutations.  This one is $495,  and if I had the $$,  I would do it in a heartbeat! 

But,  this is at least an avenue which COULD potentially give you  info,  without you  having to bother your Mom!  Let me know if I can help in any way!
Amanda
onethentwins
by on Aug. 2, 2007 at 11:45 AM
It's perfectly natural for you want to know about your mom's birthfamily.  Just look at all the websites on genealogy. Wanting to know about your birthfamily is no reflection on your adoptive family.

There is a book called "The girls that went away" by Ann Fessler. She's an adoptee and interviewed a bunch of women who surrendered their babies in the 40's, 50's and 60's. It's a real "pageturner" and will give you some insight into why your grandmother gave your mother up and why she might not have  searched for her.

The book is now available in paperback. Here is a link that will tell you more about it.
 http://www.thegirlswhowentaway.com/ 
adopteeme
by on Aug. 3, 2007 at 6:59 AM
Overview of Mississippi Adoption Information
http://www.geocities.com/tmusso.geo/states/mississippi.html
In Mississippi, access to confidential adoption records is available by court order, only. Dom. Rel. 453.120. Adult adoptees can request a their non-identifying information from the agency that handled the adoption. Missississippi has an active (search and consent registry) system, likely with confidential intermediaries to do the searching. However, contact information is only released if the CI locates and obtains permission from the searched for party. Mississippi has an access veto/affidavit system in place. The adoptee or birth parent can place an affidavit affirming their wish to be contacted in the adoption file. ---------------------------------
Mississippi adoption search and support group(s)

Adoption Information Network, 601-482-7556
5917 5th Street, Meridian  39307-6126
-----------------------------------

ISRR - oldest, largest mutual consent registry
http://isrr.net/

---------------------------------------
mississippi reunion registry
http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Bluffs/3592/MS.html

adopteeme
by on Aug. 5, 2007 at 2:40 PM
Theres a new group on cafemom for Birth Grandparents

http://www.cafemom.com/group/15151

I found my family too late to know my Grandmother
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