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Is there any duaa i can read???

Posted by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 7:17 PM
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My inlaws are coming this summer. i am not going to say too much but i will say last time they came they treated me poorly. then i took that anger out on my husband and i dont like and want that...i want to ignore everything and everyone and just be civilized this time. however ever since i found out they r coming i am having panic attacks just thinking about how i was treated last time and it will happen to me again...i dont wanna see a psychiatrist and be on any kind of meds...is there any duaa i can read to give me peace???i do pray. is there anything i can do or read to not have those attacks anymore??? plz help me...
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by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 7:17 PM
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proud2bmom3 Group Owner
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 8:51 PM

Assalamu alaikum dear sister. and welcome to our group.

what can I say? subhana Allah. even if you were on very good terms with your inlaws. still a visit is bound to give any one a panic attack... lol.. we always feel like we are being judged.. and measured.. and so we stress ourselves to do everything perfectly.. we become more sensitive to what is said to us. by them or by our husbands just because we are in a defensive mode.. that is normal my dear and does not require you to go to a therapist.. or take medications..

one way to help in  having a tolerable visit with inlaws is having a heart to heart talk with your husband before they come.. tell him that you respect them, that you will show them nothing but respect. but he also needs to help you..  for whatever reason. I have noticed that the most macho man reverts somehow when his mother is around.. it bothers us.. though it should not.. so accept that he is her son. accept that his relation ship with her is different than it is with you.. and that you are not in a contest for his love nor respect.. he loves you both differently. and respects you both differently.. but make no mistake.. it is very rare that any man would accept his wife to be disrespectful to his parents.  and he will love you more when he sees you trying to please them just for his sake. and you do that for the Sake of Allah.

so,

treat them with respect and kindness. and pick your battles.  if she wants to cook, let her cook. if she criticizes your cooking. then ask her how she would have done it differently.. give them some time alone with their son.. complement her..   I have been married for close to sixteen years now.. and the best policy I found with my inlaws was being respectful, tolerant. and  patient, patient patient.. lol..

talk to your husband.. tell him that you will be as patient as you can. but he needs to be fair with you. he needs to respect you. and show his parents that you are to be respected in your own home.. and especially ,  that they not interfere in your and your husband's private life and decisions about your marriage. but say that in a calm, gentle manner to your husband. not offensive or as if you are threatening.

calm down.. my dear sister.. I will find you dua's that help when one is in distress. the strongest one is " hasbiya Allah wa ni'mal wakeel"  which translates loosely to putting all in the hands of Allah, and He is the best patron to straighten your affairs insha' Allah.

you are in my dua..  I leave you in the trusted care of Allah.

Love and salaam (peace)

 (proud2bmom3 Muslim Moms-- Owner. 

arshia05
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 11:13 PM
Thank you so much sister. you r right i will be respectfull and patient with them this time...it will be good for me, my husband and my daughter...i did talk to my husband couple days back and he said the same thing that as long as i m respectful with them he will back me up 100%...thanks for also giving me this dua...i will read it...i feel so much better talking to you...thanks:)

Quoting proud2bmom3:

Assalamu alaikum dear sister. and welcome to our group.


what can I say? subhana Allah. even if you were on very good terms with your inlaws. still a visit is bound to give any one a panic attack... lol.. we always feel like we are being judged.. and measured.. and so we stress ourselves to do everything perfectly.. we become more sensitive to what is said to us. by them or by our husbands just because we are in a defensive mode.. that is normal my dear and does not require you to go to a therapist.. or take medications..


one way to help in  having a tolerable visit with inlaws is having a heart to heart talk with your husband before they come.. tell him that you respect them, that you will show them nothing but respect. but he also needs to help you..  for whatever reason. I have noticed that the most macho man reverts somehow when his mother is around.. it bothers us.. though it should not.. so accept that he is her son. accept that his relation ship with her is different than it is with you.. and that you are not in a contest for his love nor respect.. he loves you both differently. and respects you both differently.. but make no mistake.. it is very rare that any man would accept his wife to be disrespectful to his parents.  and he will love you more when he sees you trying to please them just for his sake. and you do that for the Sake of Allah.


so,


treat them with respect and kindness. and pick your battles.  if she wants to cook, let her cook. if she criticizes your cooking. then ask her how she would have done it differently.. give them some time alone with their son.. complement her..   I have been married for close to sixteen years now.. and the best policy I found with my inlaws was being respectful, tolerant. and  patient, patient patient.. lol..


talk to your husband.. tell him that you will be as patient as you can. but he needs to be fair with you. he needs to respect you. and show his parents that you are to be respected in your own home.. and especially ,  that they not interfere in your and your husband's private life and decisions about your marriage. but say that in a calm, gentle manner to your husband. not offensive or as if you are threatening.


calm down.. my dear sister.. I will find you dua's that help when one is in distress. the strongest one is " hasbiya Allah wa ni'mal wakeel"  which translates loosely to putting all in the hands of Allah, and He is the best patron to straighten your affairs insha' Allah.


you are in my dua..  I leave you in the trusted care of Allah.

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proud2bmom3 Group Owner
by on Feb. 10, 2011 at 8:04 PM

assalamu alaikum..

I almost forgot.. another thing that also helps.. gifts.. get her a nice or simple gift.. something that she likes..

I always shop for my mother in law .. she does not have any daughters. and so when I am shopping for stuff for the kitchen that make life easier, I usually buy her one as well. like a jar opener, an electric knife sharpener, towels.. or a nice perfume.. she loved amarige ( very classy for for her age) .. comfortable shoes, warm socks. you know.. considerate things.. things that say you care..

and remember, you can always come here if you need sisters who love you only for the sake of Allah.

you are in my dua..

Love and salaam (peace)

 (proud2bmom3 Muslim Moms-- Owner. 

arshia05
by on Feb. 11, 2011 at 1:38 AM
Thanks I will do that...I think this is a great idea...gifts will definitely make her feel special.






quote name="proud2bmom3" id="0"]

assalamu alaikum..


I almost forgot.. another thing that also helps.. gifts.. get her a nice or simple gift.. something that she likes..


I always shop for my mother in law .. she does not have any daughters. and so when I am shopping for stuff for the kitchen that make life easier, I usually buy her one as well. like a jar opener, an electric knife sharpener, towels.. or a nice perfume.. she loved amarige ( very classy for for her age) .. comfortable shoes, warm socks. you know.. considerate things.. things that say you care..


and remember, you can always come here if you need sisters who love you only for the sake of Allah.


you are in my dua..

[/quote]
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