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Help with daycare

Posted by on May. 21, 2011 at 12:41 PM
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Assalaamu Alaykum.  I am puzzling over something and not sure how to avoid this issue.  Actually we have puzzled over this since last year or rather I did.  Which was a big discussion in November about what to do with our baby and daycare and my college education. 

Point: We believe that music and art are haraam in Islam (see Muharramat Forbidden Matters People Take Lightly or Sura 31 on music/Muharramat Forbidden Matters Some People Take Lightly for the stance on art and drawing living beings). 

 

Fact as a I explained to my husband: Daycare/Preschool/Public School have art and music as part of their curriculum.  (Astaghiirfullah even one of the Islamic schools here in my state has "art" for preschoolers which did NOT make me pleased but it's too far away and too expensive to afford). 

I metioned to my husband about the fact that I highly doubt a teacher will take our religion into consideration and I don't see them reworking their curriculum for our religion (now there are Muslims here but they're all university students and let's just say.... there's no way I'd allow them to watch our child). 

Also mentioned to my husband that as an Early Childhood Education teacher in America how music and art are important in American schools.  That if I taught preschool/daycare I would be forced to engage the children in things we believe to be haraam. 

Now why am I going to college: 1. My husband has given me permission to go to school to further my education for myself, 2. I want to be a teacher (ECE/ESL) and help teach the Ummah/mainly women and girls in third world countries who are often DENIED an education due to their sexist patriarchial culture/country they live in, 3. so I can take care of myself and our kids should my husband die, 4. because if I manage to succesfully graduate college I'll be the first person on my dad's side to have gone to college, graduated, and got a degree so that is another big important reason for me personally, 5. because honestly I think i'll look like a hypocrite if I encourage/pressure my kids to go to college and don't have a degree myself. 

As a result of the above IF I Insha Allah get pregnant in December, I'll be taking off Autumn Semester (school is switching from quarters to semesters in summer 2012) which will mean our child won't be in daycare for 3 months (assuming he/she doesn't die of SIDS in that time). 

I realize I cannot change the curriculum or force the daycare to alter their curriculum because of our religious beliefs (sadly there's nothing of support here for the Muslims in my town) but what to do about this matter?  DH works so he can't watch child during day and all the classes at school are in the daytime and VERY FEW are online.  I think so far I've seen maybe 1 or 2 classes online, the rest are all on campus.  Should I get a letter from an Imam at a masjid to give to our baby's teacher or what? 

by on May. 21, 2011 at 12:41 PM
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Replies (1-8):
muhajjirah Group Admin
by on May. 21, 2011 at 1:38 PM

 asalaamalaiakum dear sister,

what is your issue with art? art is not prohibited in Islam- especially when used as a tool for teaching young children. does your child own stuffed animals with faces? its on the same level. many scholars have said faces with eyes are not permissible to posted on walls and such but kids playing its ok because this is how the learn about life.

in terms of music, yes many scholars are totally against all forms of instrumentals sounds. however there are a number of scholars who have made it permissible for various purposes in regards to education- again especially in regards to teaching small children.

sometimes we are faced when we have to choose the lesser of the two wrongs as well. would it be better for you not to complete your education or allow your daughter to participate in daycare as a learning process making the best of it- and giving you a means to point out what your family dislikes?

when we have to make a decision the best thing to do is for us to pray salaat istikhara. i know people who are on both ends/extremes of these rulings, Prophet Muhammad salAllahu alayhee wasallam taught us to be moderate. so if its just these issues that you are having a problem with..and nothing else (like trust factor or whatever else), then i suggest you allow Allah to choose for you and keep an open communication with your child about her environment whether she is in the daycare or not.

Allah Knows Best.

 

UmmSamoura
by on May. 21, 2011 at 3:26 PM

Salam sister, Just have to say that much of your post is "ifs" and "buts" and "hypotheticals" just rely on Allah more and pray two rakas to help guide you in any decisions you make in your life. All these hypotheticals, schools, daycare, etc and you have not even concieved a child yet. Am I correct about that just want to make sure I did not read that wrong. 

dusk90
by on May. 21, 2011 at 3:42 PM


Quoting muhajjirah:

 asalaamalaiakum dear sister,

what is your issue with art? art is not prohibited in Islam- especially when used as a tool for teaching young children. does your child own stuffed animals with faces? its on the same level. many scholars have said faces with eyes are not permissible to posted on walls and such but kids playing its ok because this is how the learn about life.

in terms of music, yes many scholars are totally against all forms of instrumentals sounds. however there are a number of scholars who have made it permissible for various purposes in regards to education- again especially in regards to teaching small children.

sometimes we are faced when we have to choose the lesser of the two wrongs as well. would it be better for you not to complete your education or allow your daughter to participate in daycare as a learning process making the best of it- and giving you a means to point out what your family dislikes?

when we have to make a decision the best thing to do is for us to pray salaat istikhara. i know people who are on both ends/extremes of these rulings, Prophet Muhammad salAllahu alayhee wasallam taught us to be moderate. so if its just these issues that you are having a problem with..and nothing else (like trust factor or whatever else), then i suggest you allow Allah to choose for you and keep an open communication with your child about her environment whether she is in the daycare or not.

Allah Knows Best.

 

My issue with art is that it can and does promote shirk. Look @ the Christians and how they draw images of the Apostles, Angels, and (astaghirfullah) what they think Prophet Isa (alayhi salaam) looked like.  All my Islamic books are at my grandmother's so I can't look up the issue with it, but I know that it's disliked (if not forbidden) to draw living beings because 1. Only Allah (SWT) can create thinking and 2. it can promote shirk so I see it as best to avoid.

dusk90
by on May. 21, 2011 at 3:45 PM


Quoting UmmSamoura:

Salam sister, Just have to say that much of your post is "ifs" and "buts" and "hypotheticals" just rely on Allah more and pray two rakas to help guide you in any decisions you make in your life. All these hypotheticals, schools, daycare, etc and you have not even concieved a child yet. Am I correct about that just want to make sure I did not read that wrong. 


You're correct, we don't have kids yet.  I just like planning things ahead so I know what needs to be done and I happen to take following Sahih Hadith and Quran very seriously.

HeatUSA-Tunisia
by on May. 21, 2011 at 3:45 PM

Pray istikara before every big decision.

I agree with Muhajjirah and ummSamoura.

aishanabuaisha
by on May. 21, 2011 at 4:04 PM

As far as I understood it and I have a link to back it up, it is only wrong to draw animate beings as oppose to inanimate. My husband and I were also having this discussion and have come to no conclusion except to homeschool which is what we will be doing, inshallah. As I know in schools that they will often draw humans and animals.

http://www.islamqa.com/en/ref/102277

 

From link: 

"The child’s guardian should raise him to keep away from making images and drawing animate beings, and he should explain to him that this is haraam. 

He should look for permissible alternatives that are available, praise be to Allaah, such as drawing vegetables, fruits, trees and oceans, and any inanimate objects."

madi1982
by on May. 21, 2011 at 4:14 PM

I asked a question simular 2 this & never got a good reply what about all those holiday activitys that they force the children to participate in @ the public schools? What am I supposed to do about that? Yes I know the activities are non-religious but thats pagan totally not allowed.

muhajjirah Group Admin
by on May. 21, 2011 at 4:17 PM

 

Quoting dusk90:

 My issue with art is that it can and does promote shirk. Look @ the Christians and how they draw images of the Apostles, Angels, and (astaghirfullah) what they think Prophet Isa (alayhi salaam) looked like.  All my Islamic books are at my grandmother's so I can't look up the issue with it, but I know that it's disliked (if not forbidden) to draw living beings because 1. Only Allah (SWT) can create thinking and 2. it can promote shirk so I see it as best to avoid.

 asalaamalaiakum-

subhanAllah i didnt even realize you dont have children yet. may Allah  you bless you with some :)

your dislike for art which imitates humans & angels is commendable.

HOWEVER

Islam has a VERY deep history with the Arts in general. google Islamic Art/ Islamic Mosaics and see what you come up with, or if you are on FB search there and youll see many things that are in total compliance with our religion- Art. many things within Art which are NOT HARAAM.  here in Madinah- the Holy City there is even an Art Museum right by the Prophet Mosque. its nothing to brag about but still..even in perhaps the most regulated conservative country in the world which claims to do everything by Islam (and that is another thread all together) Art is a course students in both boys & girls schools take regulated by the government here.

 

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