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How do I get back my faith in god and my religion when I have been such a bad Muslim?

Posted by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 12:54 AM
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I go through these phases where I'm praying and all over Islam and at times, I act like I have no idea what being a muslim is. Why? I'm going through a rough time in my life right now and I know all I need is god by my side. Why am I not trying to pray and be a good Muslim??? Why am I ignoring the fact that I need to feel close to god to be able to feel better and to go through this rough patch. Everytime I want to pray, It's like something tells me not to and I feel as if I am chocking!

Tonight, it hit me ! We were going over some quran with the kids and I heard it and tears started coming down ! Just like that ! No reason.... Nope, I'm lying.... It's because I felt guilty.... I felt ashamed! I felt a sudden relief!

FYI, I am 100% Arab and Muslim. So this should all be easy for me. Don't get me wrong, In no way do I ever want to be to the extreme. I just want to feel like I am doing the right thing.

 

by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 12:54 AM
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Replies (1-5):
muhajjirah Group Admin
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 7:02 AM
shaitan is on to you..seek refuge in Allah from shaitan, increase your thikr& purify your intentions of the good things you do for Allah- not family, work etc. and keep up with the duaa.
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Amirah786
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 12:15 PM

Asalaamu Alaikum Sis, I think I know exactly what you are going through. When I first took shahadah I wanted to be the best muslim I could be, but over the years I slipped and went back to old habits, including sins that I felt were horrible. Now I'm trying to get back to my deen and I'm STRUGGLING!!!! Sometimes I'm on top of my prayers and reading and sometimes I'm not.....I've always tried to do what I felt I could, such as if I wasn't making salaat, try to do acts of charity or kindness. But once you do bad, the only thing to get that out of your heart is to read Holy Quran and establish salaat. This was the advice given to me by a good friend:

Sin and good will cancel each other out in your heart. Only one can exist, so if you are doing major sin, stop and repent. Instead of listening to music, listen to Islamic nasheeds and lots of Holy Quran. Non Islamic music erases Holy Quran, but the more Holy Quran you read, the less you'll be distracted. Listen to the Manzil twice a day, in the morning and evening. Make your salaats on time and read Holy Quran, even if just a few lines, once a day. Take it slow, don't over do it and then go back to old ways....but if you integrate it slowly back into your life, it'll be easier...Remeber Allah knows your heart and your intentions, he knows what you can and cannot handle....hold fast to his rope and the sunnah of Prophet Muhammed (salla lahu alihe wa salaam) and remember dua is your weapon.....Use it.....These words helped me out so much, and maybe you've already heard them but sometimes hearing them over and over, will somehow make it easier to adjust....I pray for you all the best and for Allah to increase you in good deeds, iman and strength!!!!! Ameen

Nadia951
by on Jan. 16, 2012 at 7:40 AM

May Allah make it easy on you. Ameen  May he forgive your bad deeds and accept your good deeds.  Ameen

proud2bmom3 Group Owner
by on Jan. 18, 2012 at 8:39 PM

Assalamu alaikum dear sister.

first , let me give you a ((((((HUG))))))).. I am so happy to read your post.. not  because you are struggling. but because you recognize that you are doing something wrong. because I can see your remorse and guilt. and that  my dear sister is the first step, the first most important step .. wanting to do something about it, seeking help and support is the second most important step.. all that is left for you is take action, and be consistent..

Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him encouraged us to do what we can, according to our pace.. doing little on a regular basis, is better than doing a lot rarely and randomly.

my dearest.. no matter how you find yourself.. Salat, ( prayer) should be the ONE constant you should NEVER give up.. let that be the one thing that reminds  you that you are a Muslim every day.. Salat is the MOST important worship, and should not be compromised..

there are alhamdulilaah a lot of ways that can help rekindling your faith.. one important one, is the one that gave you the wake up call : Children.. 

we need to teach our children. and most importantly, we need to teach by example.. and our children are our responsibility.. how can we teach them to be good Muslims if we do not try to educate ourselves first, or be good example? remember, our children will not out do us..  you say you are 100% Arab. so I am guessing you were raised in Islam? your guilt shows me that you have the seed within you.. if you do not plant that seed in your children.. you will lose them.. because there will be nothing to pull them back once they lose their way.. know what I mean?

another reminder is reading Quran more regularly,, and trying to change some of your habits.. slowly,, but progressively, towards being a better Muslim.  for example: remove haram things from your house if you have any.. try to dress more modestly ( sorry,  I saw your picture, I am not trying to offend you,, just remind you.. and advise you, as a sister who wants nothing for you, but all that is good.. )

surround yourself with good friends.. Muslims who will add to your faith, not take away from it.. Muslim Moms is a good place to find support. but you also need sisters in real life.. maybe go to the masjid on jumaa, see if you can have play dates with some Muslim moms.. take your kids to Sunday school...etc.

try to keep your tongue moist with thikr.. and try to fight Satan .. Shaytaan feeds on our weaknesses. he makes the bad seem easy and pleasureable while worships seem hard and depressing. that is why paradise is surrounded with hardships and Hell is surrounded with pleasures.. meaning the road leading to them .. does that make sense?

and finally my dear. do not lose this feeling.. this is the seed of Taqwa.. and basis for Tawbah.. and trust that Allah WILL forgive those who seek his forgiveness with a sincere repentance. ( Tawbah nasooh) ..

hope this helps you.. sorry I did not get the chance to answer you before,, please feel free to message me, or ask anything on here.. we are all here for you. and know that we all love you purely for the sake of Allah.

  you will be in my dua..

if I speak in error then it is from me, may Allah forgive me and guide us all to what pleases HIM Ameen.

 

Love and salaam (peace)

 (proud2bmom3 Muslim Moms-- Owner. 

muslimah4life Group Admin
by on Jan. 22, 2012 at 10:43 PM

salamo alikom sister

I have to agree with my sisters. try to stay away from sin; read more quran; and remember to do your salat;

please come back and share with us how you are doing; we are all rooting for you

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