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would you mind your husband taking another wife?

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Salam sisters!!! Last night my husband told me he loves me so much, and has no desire to have another wife, he said that even growing up in Iraq it wasn't something popular. I was happy. Because I was raised Christian and you had one wife, and you were to love and cherish her only. So even after I converted, it was hard for me to understand the permissibility of four wives. I find a man and women together something special and exclusive to each other only. But as I gained knowledge of Islam, I realized Allah s.w.t. had specific causes for taking more than one. So what about you? How would you feel if your husband came and said he wants to take another? Would you be sad, supportive angry?
by on Jun. 25, 2012 at 9:59 PM
Replies (11-14):
sonorared
by on Jun. 28, 2012 at 8:28 AM
1 mom liked this

I am 63 and, at this stage in my life, I do not believe it would bother me.  There would be another woman to help with the cooking, housework, dishes, etc. which would free me up for my writing. 

I was actually thinking about this same subject the other night and how the concept is one that would keep a man from straying into casual affairs. 

As a younger woman, it definitely would not be something I would have tolerated, however.

bozobean
by on Jun. 30, 2012 at 2:29 AM
Agree. Hey girl, asalaamu alaikum! Hope I spelled that right. Long time, no see! How are you?

Quoting MIA0223:

I would not be ok with it. Because my husband would not be able to do it and do right by another woman.
We have things in our marriage that need to be fixed, adding another woman would do no good.
It won't happen, even if he had a want to do it.

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mandamommy22
by on Jun. 30, 2012 at 9:15 PM

I can't say that I would be completely opposed, it is permissible for a reason. But, I would have a very hard time dealing with it!

Plus DH jokes, he can't imagine dealing with two women on their menses. lol

Umi6
by on Jul. 1, 2012 at 11:05 PM

When I was getting married a was a newly revert, I didn't know a lot, my husband agreed to put in the marriage contract that he wouldn't take another wife, his father said he didn't think you could do that so it was taken out.  My husband has randomly made a comment about another wife which bothered me endlessly. Having been raised in the US it is socially unacceptable and hard to imagine.  But, at a later point in time in just disucssing this aspect of the religion, my husband had a point.  He said something along the lines of women who are totally against it are going against something that is allowed in their religion, I wish I could remember his exact words because it really made me think!  So I started looking into why it is allowed, etc. to understand it  and subhanAllah it started to make sense to me.  Men prior to this had many mutliple wives, to the point that they didn't remember some of them.  All Prophets (may Allah be pleased with them) had multiple wives except Isa AS I think, some even hundreds.  This restriction is not actually a weakness for women but a strength, it's not an advantage for men but  a restriction that they have to do right by us.  There are also very tough standards a man must live up to if he takes on another wife, if he does not treat them fair and just he will come on the day of judgement with half his face (or body) paralyzed.  I came across a book around that time too that I would like to read, "From Monogamy to Polygyny: A Way Through" written by co-wives I think.  I randomly came across it and happened to read the reviews, subhanAllah women on there said they are now open to the idea of polygyny based on that book.  To answer the question though I think it would be hard but I would try to comply for the hassanat LOL  Allah SWT knows best and may He give us no more than we can handle insha'Allah.

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