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My Private Thoughts

Posted by on Dec. 13, 2012 at 1:13 AM
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I have started to wear hijab for about a month now. In the process I have come up with some questions because I was so use to doin thing one way and we don't realize things until we learn something different.  So this is what I have come up with in the privacy of my own thoughts.

1. Earrings? Really you want me to put on earrings so my 2 yr old can pull them all day? LOL

2. Hair Salon?  Why spend money for hair that is going under the hijab? No one at home cares, its family.

3. Body spray, body wash, perfume and even smelling soap? 

4. Make up? I only wear lip gloss on occasion. 

I know that most everyone is going to say its for your husband. Does that mean you have to bars of soap? In the last month I dont feel sad or oppressed. I just feel that I dont have the stress of presentation for the public. I just throw on a long sleeve shirt, jeans and hijab and I am ready to go. No grooming needed. I haven't styled my hair in days.

Have I taken this, the wrong way should I put more into my appearance? Again I do not feel oppressed I feel like so what here I am, I am free. Plus I am saying money. Haven't been to salon, didnt buy those nice earrings I liked, and I really could use some nice smelling body wash right now. 

In America we do things to show status and to boost appearance.When that is gone you realize how much money you throw away.  Maybe right now I am just in a mood of accept me or leave me alone.  Just my thoughts.

by on Dec. 13, 2012 at 1:13 AM
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by on Dec. 13, 2012 at 7:22 AM
Salam alaikoum sister.
I know how you feel. Being an American myself I have found it hard to adapt sometimes. however I do use scented body washes. I still wear perfume but I apply it lightly. And on special occasions I do wear makeup. But it's not an everyday thing. my husband does not have any problem with these things.

I do not go to the hair salon either because I feel it is a waste of money. If I want to style my hair I do it myself. Although I do admit I rarely do it. Some days I don't even brush it, I just keep it in a bun.
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by on Dec. 13, 2012 at 9:08 AM
I use bath and body works shower gel its not strong enough that ppl will smell it and I use the matching lotion. I wear perfume when I know I'm not going out or at the end of the day bc I love it. Ear rings I keep a pair of diamond studs in all the time, I wear necklaces and bracelets also I love accessories. I go get my hair done bc its for me I like to look nice and it makes me feel good. Make up I put on foundation and lip gloss and then in the evenings or if I know I'm not going out the house.

I feel that just because I cover doesn't mean I can't look nice. Its sometimes a challenge shopping to find things long enough (I'm 5 10) but I can still follow islamic dress code and be fashionable.

by on Dec. 13, 2012 at 9:34 AM

 I love going to the salon and getting my hair done.  I go about every 6-8 weeks.  I love the way I feel and look when I leave.  It also gives me a few hours out of my house, away from work, and a general time to de-stress. I make it a point to keep myself up and looking my best for my husband and he does the same.  Just because I'm a plain at work at out doesn't mean I have to be at home. I love doing make up too.  My husband makes me feel beautiful no matter what- heck he even made me feel pretty all this week when I was a snotty sick mess lol.  But I do love looking beautiful for him too when I'm not a snotty mess.

Oh you who have believed, seek help through patience and prayer. Indeed, Allah is with those who are patient-

Al Quran 2-153

by on Dec. 13, 2012 at 6:50 PM

Well I wear hijab now maybe 8 months and sometimes I feel like you. But lately I like to do my hair and put nice make up at home  not really for hubby but mainly for me. Just to make myself feel beautiful. I have to cut my hair because I found only one hijabi  friendly place around here and I don't like how she cuts my hair. So I do it myself. I also dye my hair. I style it at least once  a week just for the fun of it. 

And I know it is a change sometimes to find nice hijab I clothes but I like to look fashionable . 

by on Dec. 13, 2012 at 7:35 PM
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Salam Alikom,

I am the opposite. I spent a lot of time effort and a reasonable amount of money on keeping myself up. I do it for my husband and for myself. Even when I go out I make sure I am well groomed without transgressing the limits set forth. Its very easy to go from being modest and conservative to letting oneself go.

by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 3:26 PM

I like putting a little makeup on some foundation eyeliner n mascara usually thats good for me and my dh. I am a convert and am still struggling with what I ams supposed to wear Islamically as far as clothing but I do try and this is going to get harded because now I pregnant. lol

by on Dec. 21, 2012 at 3:58 PM
Just remember that you want to make Allah SWT happy and doing a little fashion every now and then would not make Him mad.
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by on Dec. 21, 2012 at 4:29 PM

I have never styled my hair much or gone to the salon other than to get it cut ocassionally (I only do that 1-2 times a year).  I always just pull it back either into a ponytail or a bun(bun if I'm putting on hijab for sure).  I don't and never really have worn jewelry much.  Ocassionally I look at all my jewelry and think what a waste because I never wear it so what I've been doing with it lately is taking one earing and putting it on my hijab near where I pin it (most are the hook type backs) which adds a little sparkle and interest to my hijab but isn't everly flashy.  I don't do much makeup at all... I haven't since I was maybe 18-19?  But I do wear it for special ocassions like our anniversery, the eids, taking a family picture (we do one every year), weddings, etc... Other than that in the summer I do wear foundation but not really lipsticks, lip glosses, mascara, etc... I do Khol around my eyes and this I'm told is halal even in public.  I do foundation only because my skin is so pale that in the summer I need more protection from the sun so I don't burn and sunscreens are too harsh on my face, add to much oil so I break out like crazy, and tend to run into my eyes and sting.  the foundation has some spf in it.  Is gentler on my face, some are lightweight and non-greasy, and they are made to stay put better so they don't run into my eyes.  If it weren't for that though I wouldn't wear anything except the occasional Khol.  I do wear perfumes and use scented body wash.  I am a stay at home mom though and I don't go out very often so usually the only people who smell me are my immediate family.  I don't really put it on much if I'm going out.  In general most of the time I don't do anything special but when I do it really is for my DH so I don't think it's an issue

by on Dec. 21, 2012 at 4:37 PM
I am not really a girly girl, but I do like wearing earrings, make up and getting my hair done nice for myself.
Earrings and make up are at home only.
Nobody at home may care, but I do. I don't go to the extreme and wear make up daily, but it is a good pick me up sometimes.
And I mix it up with perfumes and smell good soap for me and DH. He has said in the past he likes how I always smell different. Lol.
As far as hair, my sister is a stylist. So I get whatever I want done for free from her. Lol. And she does an amazing job!
So it's not about money or status.
It's about self esteem. Modest doesn't have to mean frumpy.
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by on Dec. 28, 2012 at 1:34 PM

Sorry I am so late responding to each of you.  I feel that it is a waste to get your hair done then10 mins later you put on hijab. 

I never did wear make up and since there is no at my home to impress such as husband or any other family members then i really dont do any sprucing up. I am a stay home mom  so I only get dresses if I have somewhere to go. My family is 8 hours away so I am not expecting any vistors. 

I think even if I had a husband I would not do anything for him.  I am a "plain jane". He will just have to get over it. 

I have always been the type of person that do not put my self esteem into someting you can buy. 

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