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Is the wife obligated to pay the bills even if the husband is working?

Posted by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 2:10 PM
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The wife has a right of Food, Clothing and Shelter.
The Quran says Men are the protectors and maintainers of women.
My situation is different, my husband works and I work because I have a child from a previous marriage whos father doesnt help out financially. There have been months where my husband will not pay the bills and I am forced to pay them. What he does is wait until the day that the bills are due and tells me "I dont have the money" This has been the issue for 3 years, he knows that I am going to pay it and he takes advantage of me because I have a child to take into concideration and I wouldnt want my child to be without shelter, gas, lights or food. I have asked him why does he wait until the day the bills are due to tell me he cant pay them? He says "I dont have to tell you my financial business" telling me " There is not one marriage that the wife does not help out the husband and if the husband pays all the bills then there is something wrong with that marriage"
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by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 2:10 PM
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proud2bmom3 Group Owner
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 5:16 PM
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assalamu alaikum dear sister.. 

just a quick note before I head for bed.. and insha' Allah will come back tomorrow with evidence 

a wife is not required to pay for the house, the bills, the cloths, or food from her own money, unless before she went to work she agreed with her husband to chip in.. if at the time of marriage the wife stipulated that she wants to continue to work and the husband agreed with no strings attached then  he has no right in your money at all. 

islamically, your husband is encouraged to help support your son, but he is not obligated.. but he is indeed obligated to provide for you.. 

as to his final remark?  I say,  " if the husband does NOT pay for the bills, then there is something wrong with that marriage" plain and simple.. 

sorry my dear sister you find  yourself in such a situation. may Allah aid you and guide you. may HE almighty soften your husband's heart and guide him to what is right.. 

if I speak in error then it is from me . May Allah forgive me and guide us all to what pleases HIM ameen. 

Love and salaam (peace)

 (proud2bmom3 Muslim Moms-- Owner. 

black_rose19
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 6:14 PM
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Salam dear sister,

I am a stay at home mother, and my husband does indeed pay all the bills. Buys all food and household necessities. He wouldn't dream of asking me or telling me to pay anything.

He feels it is his duty both as a man and Islamically. I hope you will be able to talk with your husband and find a solution.
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Laurin283
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 8:04 PM

I know this can be a difficult situation.  When I was married previously, my ex and I both worked and put our money together jointly and I would find that the bills would still not be payed or there would be no money left in the account for rent.  Granted that although we were both Muslims at the time of our divorce, he is not what I'd call "a practicing Muslim."  

ALhumdulilah, my husband is so different from my ex.  I work out of necessity.  I call it necessity because although he tells me all the time that if I truely want to stop working he has no problem with that, the one summer I was not working we were basically living off credit cards, or so it felt.  I work the 9 school months at the Islamic school, and then last summer I helped working at the summer camp at the masjid for about 5-6 weeks.  SO there was SOME income from me.  However, although I DO put my whole check into the joint account, I know he would never try to tell me that I couldn't do what I wanted with my money.  I actually did ask him a couple weeks ago if I could buy something from an Islamic bookstore, and his response was something llike "when have I told you no?", but I asked because it was a large amount of money, and most of the items were for my students at the school (although some were for home).  

Also, although he is not in any way obligated to pay for ANYthing for my son from my first marriage, HE is the one paying for school, and soccer, and tae kwon do, and clothes/food/etc.  I can remember my ex giving me exactly $50 for my son since we've separated and divorced, and it was on his 3rd birthday (we divorced when he was 2.5 and now he's 6).  My husband actually said in the beginning that he doesn't want any money from him, and if he offers it, to use it solely on my son.

I pray that your husband wakes up.  If you have family or friends you can stay with in an emergency, then I recommend NOT paying the bills the next month, and if he actually does let something like the electric or heat get turned off, stay with them until they're back on.  I don't mean this to be cruel, but I feel as though if you keep paying them, he will keep up the game.  So get yourself a backup plan in case he's not man enough to pay them when you refuse.  

lovingislam
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 10:24 PM
InshaAllah Allah makes your situation easy on you soon. I would look for the evidence in Quran and sunnah to present to you're husband on the rights of spouses pointing out what you do for him and what he is supposed to do for you. Then I would also find the evidence as to the punishment for one who violates those rights. Then it isn't you nagging/complaining so much as you trying to save him from a great punishment as Allah Himself has set the rules. But I agree that you should not pay the bills and let him see what happens. Maybe even talk to the imam to see if he can better explain your husband's obligations to him.
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