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Advice dealing with hijab and teasing...

Posted by on Aug. 28, 2013 at 6:15 AM
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My 10 yr old niece just started wearing hijab all the time last week, and now wears it to school (starting on the first day of tschool his year).  Over the summer she toyed with it, sometimes wearing it, sometimes not, but decided herself to wear it once school started.  

Yesterday she told me that the older kids (those dratted 6th graders; she's in 5th) were making fun of her.  Now she didn't hear anything specific, but they were staring and talking in the lunchroom and so on.  It could be nothing; they could be simply curious.  SHe  and her brother, as far as we know, are the only Muslims in this public school.  Her close friends don't care at all; she's had no problem with them.  One younger boy said something about an "African hat" and she brushed it off because it was just a ridiculous comment from a little kid.

Her mom is out of town until Sat, (her mom also used to wear hijab all the time, but now does so infrequently; to work in the Islamic Center she covers, but not always outside of work) so I've been picking them up after school and staying through hw and dinner times (and we pray together when they get home as well as asr, maghrib, isha) until their dad my brother in law gets home.  Their grandparents are also there until next week when they are going back to Gaza inshaallah.  Last night I told my husband about it so he could inform his brother.  

I did talk to her about how she will always come across people who are being stupid and ignorant, and how inshaallah Allah will bless her more for wearing hijab since it is harder for her.  

Just looking for any additional advice to share with my 10 yr old niece.  I teach at an Islamic school where grades 5 and 6 wear hijab to school as a school rule, and I started wearing it around 5 yrs ago when I first converted, so my experience with any teasing or negativity is different than hers.

by on Aug. 28, 2013 at 6:15 AM
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Replies (1-9):
jjames1990
by on Aug. 28, 2013 at 6:22 AM

This post came up in my news feed, I am not a member, nor am Muslim.  However, I teach religion classes for this very reason.  My classes cover 10 religions, the basic teachings, so that people can understand other religions and grow acceptance.  I am sorry your niece is having a rough time, as I tell my students what usually drives intolerance is the lack of knowledge.  

Is your niece of the personality to be able to walk up to these students and ask them if they have any questions or comments that they would like to address directly to her?  We are Jewish by heritage, Pagan by teaching and traditions.  My children have had several run ins with Christians in the past and they both just faced them head on.  Surprisingly, once they did this, and answered questions, showed them they were not afraid, they were left alone.  

Good Luck to your niece. As I said, I only responded because your post spoke to me, as I live my life daily  and try and teach others to accept all religions.  

Laurin283
by on Aug. 28, 2013 at 6:50 AM

Thank you for your insight.  She's bold with those she knows, but being as these are the "older" sixth graders, I think she's embarrassed and shy.  I will talk to her about this, though, and see if it's something she thinks she can do.  THanks again.

jjames1990
by on Aug. 28, 2013 at 7:01 AM

Your welcome.  I hope it works out.  I commend her for deciding to support her beliefs and traditions in such a public way.  


Quoting Laurin283:

Thank you for your insight.  She's bold with those she knows, but being as these are the "older" sixth graders, I think she's embarrassed and shy.  I will talk to her about this, though, and see if it's something she thinks she can do.  THanks again.



Laurin283
by on Aug. 30, 2013 at 4:22 PM

BUMP!

proud2bmom3 Group Owner
by on Sep. 6, 2013 at 4:46 AM

Assalamu alaikum dear sister. 

would the school allow for you to come give a talk about culture? NOT religion.. I know  a lot of schools do not allow talks of a religious nature, though in Louisiana that was not a problem. but if they allow you to talk about the Arab culture, you can do a power point that shows pictures of major cities in the Arab world, pictures of weddings, hijabi women, traditional clothes, traditional foods.. bring some traditional foods for taste..etc. i  have given this talk at my kids school and even at the local highschool for some of my youth group classes.. it was a hit. and they always asked about the hijab.. and once they saw the pictures of muslims doing normal activities. and once they understood hijab is just a form of thanking God and worshiping him.. i think that made a big difference ( so the students told me..) 

i have my slide show on my computer.. would be more than happy to share.. and even though it is not a talk about islam.. it breaks down a lot of misconceptions.. those misconceptions and stereotyping is what causing the kids to react negatively.. 

I try to take advatage of our eids.. educating the kids about the different ways different people celebrate around the world . ;)


Love and salaam (peace)

 (proud2bmom3 Muslim Moms-- Owner. 

MYBABYANDI
by on Sep. 23, 2013 at 1:43 AM

that is so sad   i know the feeling though   i wish i could were a hijab  im just not comfortable doing it right now and that is sad 2

Jadamay
by on Sep. 27, 2013 at 9:50 PM
I give her so much credit Masha'Allah! I've always loved hijab and wish I had the courage when I was younger. I wear it now and as a grown up still get a bit disturbed by people that misjudged me. I think sister Proud's idea is great and I should even use her idea!
Jadamay
by on Sep. 27, 2013 at 9:55 PM
I love and wish there were more people like you!

Quoting jjames1990:

This post came up in my news feed, I am not a member, nor am Muslim.  However, I teach religion classes for this very reason.  My classes cover 10 religions, the basic teachings, so that people can understand other religions and grow acceptance.  I am sorry your niece is having a rough time, as I tell my students what usually drives intolerance is the lack of knowledge.  

Is your niece of the personality to be able to walk up to these students and ask them if they have any questions or comments that they would like to address directly to her?  We are Jewish by heritage, Pagan by teaching and traditions.  My children have had several run ins with Christians in the past and they both just faced them head on.  Surprisingly, once they did this, and answered questions, showed them they were not afraid, they were left alone.  

Good Luck to your niece. As I said, I only responded because your post spoke to me, as I live my life daily  and try and teach others to accept all religions.  

RaniNY
by on Sep. 27, 2013 at 9:59 PM
I think this is a great idea, and I think the school and the kids would love it!


Quoting proud2bmom3:

Assalamu alaikum dear sister. 

would the school allow for you to come give a talk about culture? NOT religion.. I know  a lot of schools do not allow talks of a religious nature, though in Louisiana that was not a problem. but if they allow you to talk about the Arab culture, you can do a power point that shows pictures of major cities in the Arab world, pictures of weddings, hijabi women, traditional clothes, traditional foods.. bring some traditional foods for taste..etc. i  have given this talk at my kids school and even at the local highschool for some of my youth group classes.. it was a hit. and they always asked about the hijab.. and once they saw the pictures of muslims doing normal activities. and once they understood hijab is just a form of thanking God and worshiping him.. i think that made a big difference ( so the students told me..) 

i have my slide show on my computer.. would be more than happy to share.. and even though it is not a talk about islam.. it breaks down a lot of misconceptions.. those misconceptions and stereotyping is what causing the kids to react negatively.. 

I try to take advatage of our eids.. educating the kids about the different ways different people celebrate around the world . ;)



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