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What's the hardest thing you struggle with as a Muslima? (Or religion of your belief if you're not Muslim)

Posted by on Mar. 12, 2014 at 11:09 PM
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For me, it's probably wearing hijab, sometimes I feel like I want to, and then feel like I don't want to be so noticed either. Also, being a revert to Islam. Every sometimes I feel like I'm supposed to prove how Muslim I am. And I find that difficult, bc I don't feel (as the Quran says) that religion is supposed to be a hardship, it's to bring you closer to God and your own faith in Him. It's between you and God.
The other is getting in the time to read Quran everyday and make every prayer. Even "making up" the prayer is difficult.
Those are my struggles :) what's yours.
by on Mar. 12, 2014 at 11:09 PM
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-Cassandra-
by on Mar. 13, 2014 at 4:06 AM

For me it's praying on time.  Everything else for me is easy.  Fasting in Ramadan... not a problem, hijab... no issues, but for some reason praying on time is the most difficult thing in the world for me.  I'm not very good with schedules and I tend to do everything when I get to it.  Sometimes that means I finish painting a room at 3am.  Or I eat breakfast at 4 in the afternoon.  Unfortunately for me this lax sort of schedule doesn't fit well with praying on time.  I forget and procrastinate some too.  Getting them done on time within their time windows (which become especially short in the winter with some windows being only about an hour long) is very difficult for me.

proud2bmom3 Group Owner
by on Mar. 13, 2014 at 6:26 AM
1 mom liked this

Assalamu alaikum dearest Cassandra... 

you know what helped me ? the snooze button.. lol.. living in the states we dont' get to hear the Adhan blaring every prayer time. so we rely on the calender we print out of our computer, unless you download an app that does the adhan for you.. so anyway.. what you can do, is set multiple alarms on your phone.. for the adhan time, then hit the snooze button ( which is about ten minutes) when the alarm hits again. drop everything and go pray.. between the first and second alarm you will get the chance to finish up what is in your hand.. if by the first snooze you didn't get to finish, then hit the snooze again.. 

living in the arab world you get two reminders.. the adhan and the Iqama, so you get the chance to remind yourself and consciously go to pray.. however. for me, Fajr.. sometimes because I have a tough night.. I don't hear the adhan. so what i do .. even now.. is set four alarms on my phone lol. that are within the allotted time.. for example: 5:00 then 5:15,,,,etc.. last one would be at least ten minutes before sunrise.. so I would still have time to pray even if I dont' wake up to the other ones. 

like you .. I sometimes lose track of time engulfed in whatever I may be doing.. so. I have to consciously set timers and alarms on my phone .. ( not every day,,  but when I have to do certain things.. ) like for example.. I have an appointment at twelve.. I know how long it will take me to get ready.. so let's say I wanted to do some chores, or whatever. I set the alarm ten minutes before the time it takes me to get ready.. if I am done by the time it goes off. then I go get ready. if not, then I hit the snooze for ten minutes and finish up and then go get ready..  LOL.. it may sound simple.. or crazy.. but it has worked for me.. because it is so easy to get distracted.. ( especially with Salat.. so.. timers, alarms, and snooze can help.. In Shaa Allah. :)

Quoting -Cassandra-:

For me it's praying on time.  Everything else for me is easy.  Fasting in Ramadan... not a problem, hijab... no issues, but for some reason praying on time is the most difficult thing in the world for me.  I'm not very good with schedules and I tend to do everything when I get to it.  Sometimes that means I finish painting a room at 3am.  Or I eat breakfast at 4 in the afternoon.  Unfortunately for me this lax sort of schedule doesn't fit well with praying on time.  I forget and procrastinate some too.  Getting them done on time within their time windows (which become especially short in the winter with some windows being only about an hour long) is very difficult for me.


Love and salaam (peace)

 (proud2bmom3 Muslim Moms-- Owner. 

proud2bmom3 Group Owner
by on Mar. 13, 2014 at 6:53 AM

Assalamu alaikum dear sister.. 

we all have our struggles.. and we all have different levels of iman , so what may be a struggle for me might come naturally to others, and the opposite is also true..  I am ashamed to say that some of the hardest things I am struggling with, are things I would like to keep covered.. . Islam tells us to cover our sins. and work hard on them. ( those struggles may not sound bad to others, but to me, they are something I would like to work on privately ). but I can share some of my other struggles , hopefully we can have some helpful discussions about them.. and help each other overcome them.. and remind each other that we are all human.. you are not alone in this. we all struggle.. alhamdulilaah.. it is our struggles and overcoming them In Shaa Allah what will raise us in the eyes of Allah.. so never lose sight of that.. 

ok.. 

like Cassandra.. I sometimes lose track of time. but alhamdulilaah I have overcome that by immediately praying.. whenever I hear the adhan. I go and pray.. if I am busy, I use the alarm and snooze method. it helps

fasting extra is a struggle for me sometimes.. Ramadan comes so naturally alhamdulilaah. but the extra fast. not always.. 

and memorizing Quran.. I have the memory of a Gold fish , and memorization is indeed one of my biggest challenges..

May Allah forgive us our shortcomings and guide us to what pleases HIM. Ameen

Love and salaam (peace)

 (proud2bmom3 Muslim Moms-- Owner. 

proud2bmom3 Group Owner
by on Mar. 13, 2014 at 7:46 AM

Assalamu alaikum dear sister.. 

Prove you are a good Muslim to whom? yourself? Allah, other people?? 

if it were other people.. dont' over-stress yourself.. those who want to judge will always judge regardless, so be who you are, work at your own pace.. if it is slowly or one baby step at a time.. so long as you are walking forward that is what matters most. 

if it were yourself.. then self examination is a wonderful thing. but not when it leads you to doubt yourself in a destructive manner.. self doubt should be a means to bettering ourselves.. and i think it is a wonderful thing because it is the basis of Taqwa.. wanting to do better.. or even feeling that what we are doing is not enough.. but steer it in a positive constructive way.. in shaa Allah. 

if it were to Allah Ta'aala.. then know that HE the Almighty KNOWS.. HE knows your faith, He knows your struggles, and HE knows your level of Iman.. you dont' have to prove anything.. you just need to be consistent.. and you need to keep trying to be a better Muslimah.. 

Allah, and His messenger have showed us that it is so easy to attain Allah's approval and Mercy by simply doing the five pillars of Islam and believing in the six pillars of Iman. and implementing all that is good in our lives.. so easy.. so dont' over think. don't over complicate.. all the other things will eventually fall into place when you build up  your faith my dear. 

as for hijab. what matters is who YOU are.. not who is looking at you.. we live in a society that molds us into creatures seeking approval.. since we  are little kids.. every one is so quick to throw at you their judgment and disapproval.. urging you to do what is proper and what is acceptable to society, even if that was the wrong thing.. such practices. even in the Muslim or Arab world have taken Islamic teachings and warped them into social practices that go against Islam.. for example: Mother's day.. a HUGE celebration in the Arab world. even though Islamically it is not acceptable ( as islam teaches every day is basically mother's day) but if you dont' celebrate it. you are seen as an extremist or an ungrateful child.. lol.. alhamdulilaah. my mom and dad raised us to follow what is right.. not what is socially proper or socially acceptable. sometimes it gets me in trouble because I tend to go against the "established correct" behaviour of our diseased societies and social practices lol.. so.. are you wearing hijab to please others? or are you pleasing Allah? it has to come from within so that the outside forces dont' matter. 

I read a quote some time ago that I really liked.. some say it's doctor Seuss some say another guy.. 

"those who matter, don't mind. and those who mind, dont' matter".  so stay true to yourself and your beliefs .. work on being the best you can be. 


 and lastly. the prayer issue.. I answered it in my previous two replies.. we have to try to live our day around the prayers.. not try to stuff the prayers in our busy day..  as for quran.. dedicate a set time.. that is just for you.. either after fajr, or after maghrib, or as you sit with your baby trying to sleep.. you will find the time.. make it a time when you are sitting and want to reach out to your phone to play bejeweled, or angry birds lol. click on your Quran app and read for ten minutes.. :) ]

like I said. you are not the only one struggling.. (((Hugs))) may Allah forgive us our shortcomings.. 'if I speak in error then it is from me. may Allah forgive me and guide us all to what pleases HIM. ameen. 

Quoting srehman: For me, it's probably wearing hijab, sometimes I feel like I want to, and then feel like I don't want to be so noticed either. Also, being a revert to Islam. Every sometimes I feel like I'm supposed to prove how Muslim I am. And I find that difficult, bc I don't feel (as the Quran says) that religion is supposed to be a hardship, it's to bring you closer to God and your own faith in Him. It's between you and God. The other is getting in the time to read Quran everyday and make every prayer. Even "making up" the prayer is difficult. Those are my struggles :) what's yours.


Love and salaam (peace)

 (proud2bmom3 Muslim Moms-- Owner. 

Ladydarksky
by on Mar. 14, 2014 at 9:19 AM
  • trying to read the Quran i can't find the book version offline and the online jumps around so much! everyone reads it from there memory and i can't read or understand anything but the word love in arabic.
  • Remembering i am only human and have limits.
  • dirty looks i get wearing my scarf lately i don't know why but some are down right vicious looks.
  • it's lent now so the fasting has started last week i nearly forgot, I wasn't able to for years because of how sick i was
  • i'm just i guess struggling to learn Islam maybe i am just trying to learn it all at once and need to stop getting so excited about learning something new and learn to take it one step at a time :)
Paranormal Romance Author under the pen name Ladydarksky
proud2bmom3 Group Owner
by on Mar. 14, 2014 at 10:27 AM
  • Quoting Ladydarksky
  • :trying to read the Quran i can't find the book version offline and the online jumps around so much! everyone reads it from there memory and i can't read or understand anything but the word love in arabic.

 Greetigs dear . if I may respond..:) .

as to your first point.. here is a good link http://quran.com/ and if you have a smart phone . .please let me know. there are very good Quran Apps in the App store, they have translations as well 

  • Quote:

    Remembering i am only human and have limits.

  • That, my dear sister, is by no means a struggle. it is a blessing.  knowing our limitations and recognizing them is a sign of strength, and growth. testing these limits is a sign of courage.. to me at least.. so. for this one dear.. keep your chin up lol. 
  • Quote:

    dirty looks i get wearing my scarf lately i don't know why but some are down right vicious looks

sorry about that I wish I can tell you you will get used to it.. or that it will get better.. but you will learn not be phased by those vicious ignorant people and will start appreciating those who are kind and greet you with a smile.. and thankfully, the good are more than the bad.


  • Quote:

  • it's lent now so the fasting has started last week i nearly forgot I wasn't able for years because of how sick i was

  •  is your lent just giving up meat, or is it something else? many of my Catholic friends have different forms of lent.. so how does  yours go if I may ask.   what helps us during Ramadan ( which is not eating nor drinking anything all day from dawn till dusk ) is that we dedicate it fully to God. and that it is a worship.. and that we do it in congregation.. so maybe if you find someone to fast the same way and same time as you.. it might help , sorry you were sick.. I understand how it feels to be in pain all day.. you are in my prayers. 

  • Quote:

    i'm just i guess struggling to learn Islam maybe i am just trying to learn it all at once and need to stop getting so excited about learning something new and learn to take it one step at a time :)
    don't struggle to learn Islam.. enjoy it.. lol.. take it one step at a time.. it is always wonderful getting excited about something new.. don't lose that  it  too is a blessing.. the challenge is pacing yourself so that you would not get tired of it too quickly lol.. 
  • we are here for you.. and we are glad you found us.. and it would be my honor and privilege to help you in this journey of exploring our faith.. please do not hesitate to ask (((Hugs)))

Love and salaam (peace)

 (proud2bmom3 Muslim Moms-- Owner. 

SlingsAndThings
by on Mar. 14, 2014 at 10:56 AM

Asalaamu Alaikum,

For me, my struggles change sometimes it seems from minute to minute, day to day, month to month, and year to year.  Sometimes I really, really struggle with Hijab.  Others it's prayer, right now Fajr is probably my 2nd biggest struggle because my baby just LOVES to party at night right now.  There are days where I feel like I'm going to fall asleep in sujood.

I have issues to right now with putting full 100% faith in KNOWING that Allah subhana wa t'ala has a plan for me and that I just need to trust him no matter how unknown or scary life changes happen to be.

Oh you who have believed, seek help through patience and prayer. Indeed, Allah is with those who are patient-



Al Quran 2-153

Ladydarksky
by on Mar. 14, 2014 at 3:35 PM

sadly i don't have a smart phone my cell phone is all i have and it seems to have issues working when it wants to :( but i will definately take a look at that link thank you so much

as far as fasting i'm actually doing this the old way of course because of my sugar levels that can drop i can have tea with sugar but nothing else during the day at all and today is my day off, i dont eat meat on friday so it's my first time struggle not many around here fast the old ways and pray and i was asked if i would like to try ramadan my issue would be i work nights and i sleep during the day so normal fasting just doesn't work, i have until easter sunday of fasting no meat on fridays at all prayer every day and of course i only eat at night time. I have found very few old fashioned roman catholics left i stubbled upon one who is so far far away in germany and then another handful still in poland, and with no family i'm on my own.

i don't mind though it makes me happy when i can learn and fast at the same time so i am always reading exploring gathering information for myself and helping a friend of mine her dad and i used to go out years ago she converted to Islam and no one helps her so i have been passing everything i learn to her as well to help her. I'm going to share this forum with her tell her to join here, she isn't a mom she works two jobs and hardly gets any sleep making me worry all the time but with all the amazing information you all share and how caring and loving and accepting she will no doubt be able to explore and learn and not feel so alone :)

Quoting proud2bmom3:
  • Quoting Ladydarksky
  • :trying to read the Quran i can't find the book version offline and the online jumps around so much! everyone reads it from there memory and i can't read or understand anything but the word love in arabic.

 Greetigs dear . if I may respond..:) .

as to your first point.. here is a good link http://quran.com/ and if you have a smart phone . .please let me know. there are very good Quran Apps in the App store, they have translations as well 

  • Quote:Remembering i am only human and have limits.
  • That, my dear sister, is by no means a struggle. it is a blessing.  knowing our limitations and recognizing them is a sign of strength, and growth. testing these limits is a sign of courage.. to me at least.. so. for this one dear.. keep your chin up lol. 
  • Quote:dirty looks i get wearing my scarf lately i don't know why but some are down right vicious looks

sorry about that I wish I can tell you you will get used to it.. or that it will get better.. but you will learn not be phased by those vicious ignorant people and will start appreciating those who are kind and greet you with a smile.. and thankfully, the good are more than the bad.

  • Quote:
  • it's lent now so the fasting has started last week i nearly forgot I wasn't able for years because of how sick i was
  •  is your lent just giving up meat, or is it something else? many of my Catholic friends have different forms of lent.. so how does  yours go if I may ask.   what helps us during Ramadan ( which is not eating nor drinking anything all day from dawn till dusk ) is that we dedicate it fully to God. and that it is a worship.. and that we do it in congregation.. so maybe if you find someone to fast the same way and same time as you.. it might help , sorry you were sick.. I understand how it feels to be in pain all day.. you are in my prayers. 
  • Quote:i'm just i guess struggling to learn Islam maybe i am just trying to learn it all at once and need to stop getting so excited about learning something new and learn to take it one step at a time :)
    don't struggle to learn Islam.. enjoy it.. lol.. take it one step at a time.. it is always wonderful getting excited about something new.. don't lose that  it  too is a blessing.. the challenge is pacing yourself so that you would not get tired of it too quickly lol.. 
  • we are here for you.. and we are glad you found us.. and it would be my honor and privilege to help you in this journey of exploring our faith.. please do not hesitate to ask (((Hugs)))


Paranormal Romance Author under the pen name Ladydarksky
-Cassandra-
by on Mar. 14, 2014 at 7:38 PM

That's pretty much what I already do.  I have the Athan program on my computer, my phone, and my pda and I set multiple alarms but I have to have about 5 alarms at different times and I have to start them 30 minutes before the next prayer.  I get easily distracted by other things and although I do alot of work on the computer I hardly ever look at the time.  When your in the middle of a project sometimes what seems like 5 minutes was actually an hour and I can't always finish it up quickly or even get to a good stopping point.  I've come to accept that this is probably my greatest challenge in Islam and that it's uite possible it always will be... sometimes getting my period is a big relief if I have big projects at the time since I can turn off the alarms and relax with the time and not worry about it.  In our house it sounds just like living in Egypt since there are multiple athans playing but they don't start at exactly the same time so they are offset a little.  That's exactly what it sounded like in Egypt last time I was there. ;)

Quoting proud2bmom3:

Assalamu alaikum dearest Cassandra... 

you know what helped me ? the snooze button.. lol.. living in the states we dont' get to hear the Adhan blaring every prayer time. so we rely on the calender we print out of our computer, unless you download an app that does the adhan for you.. so anyway.. what you can do, is set multiple alarms on your phone.. for the adhan time, then hit the snooze button ( which is about ten minutes) when the alarm hits again. drop everything and go pray.. between the first and second alarm you will get the chance to finish up what is in your hand.. if by the first snooze you didn't get to finish, then hit the snooze again.. 

living in the arab world you get two reminders.. the adhan and the Iqama, so you get the chance to remind yourself and consciously go to pray.. however. for me, Fajr.. sometimes because I have a tough night.. I don't hear the adhan. so what i do .. even now.. is set four alarms on my phone lol. that are within the allotted time.. for example: 5:00 then 5:15,,,,etc.. last one would be at least ten minutes before sunrise.. so I would still have time to pray even if I dont' wake up to the other ones. 

like you .. I sometimes lose track of time engulfed in whatever I may be doing.. so. I have to consciously set timers and alarms on my phone .. ( not every day,,  but when I have to do certain things.. ) like for example.. I have an appointment at twelve.. I know how long it will take me to get ready.. so let's say I wanted to do some chores, or whatever. I set the alarm ten minutes before the time it takes me to get ready.. if I am done by the time it goes off. then I go get ready. if not, then I hit the snooze for ten minutes and finish up and then go get ready..  LOL.. it may sound simple.. or crazy.. but it has worked for me.. because it is so easy to get distracted.. ( especially with Salat.. so.. timers, alarms, and snooze can help.. In Shaa Allah. :)

Quoting -Cassandra-:

For me it's praying on time.  Everything else for me is easy.  Fasting in Ramadan... not a problem, hijab... no issues, but for some reason praying on time is the most difficult thing in the world for me.  I'm not very good with schedules and I tend to do everything when I get to it.  Sometimes that means I finish painting a room at 3am.  Or I eat breakfast at 4 in the afternoon.  Unfortunately for me this lax sort of schedule doesn't fit well with praying on time.  I forget and procrastinate some too.  Getting them done on time within their time windows (which become especially short in the winter with some windows being only about an hour long) is very difficult for me.



muhajjirah Group Admin
by on Mar. 15, 2014 at 7:51 AM

Asalaamalaikum Srehman..

The most important thing for you keep your focus on is Salah. If you're salah is in order, everything else will come easier. When you're trying to cope with your struggles in hijab, reading Quran, dealing with the nonsense of people..Its like you're trying to deal with the "symptoms" versus the main issue. When you commit yourself to pray 5times a day, coping with these challenges becomes easier to overcome. Make your number one priority your prayer to Allah and strictly follow it. Logically, it doesn't take much effort. It's only 5 times/day and only lasts a few minutes each time. Do not let shaytaan arRajeem make you feel like it's the hardest thing to do or overwhelm you with your other challenges. 

Simple things along with that which will make it easier..

1. Listen to Surah Baqara in your home 1x/3 days

2. Give more in charity with purified intentions in doing it for Allah's Sake

3. Keep your heart and speech busy with "istighfaar"- asking Allah to forgive you

4. Duaa from your heart, always.

Starting today, don't make any excuses. It's easy to procrastiante, but when you commit yourself for salah for the sake of Allah Alone, subhanAllah procrastinating is what becomes harder because your conscious isn't comofortable. 

Id also like to say, with or without an adhan..if you have the sincere intention to pray to Allah on time and you put the efforts forward sincerely for His Sake..youll find yourself waking up and the effects of prayer on time are incredibly profound. Your life will be enlightened more by the permission of Allah and youll find doing deeds like hijab or dealing with the attitudes of people much easier inshaaAllah.

Even the Prophets, peace be upon them, who were the most righteous of people would ask Allah to guide them..and establishers of prayer...so keep the duaa up always.


May Allah guide you dear sis and guide us all.

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