assalamu alaikum sisters,
bismillah
Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him told us that we should not shy away from asking about anything that relates to Islam.
but not every one is able to be open or blunt about certain things.
we have been on here for quite some time. and many of us have established personal relation ships with others. and so sometimes it becomes a bit harder to ask about things out in the open.
many times I read remarks like, thank you for asking this. I was afraid to do it..etc.
so I would like to offer a new idea . I was inspired by one of the other groups here on the cafe .. owned by one of our members. 40isfun. which is the anonymous post.
you can send me, or any of our admins, or any other sister you feel most comfortable with. via PM any question you feel you want an answer to. but do not want the other sisters to know it is from you.
and we will post it on here anonymously. no one will know.
and I promise you right here. in front of all the other sisters as my witnesses in front of Allah. that I will keep your anonymity. and that I will not talk about it, nor judge. insha' Allah. and I trust all my other wonderful sisters on here to do the same.
any one can put an anonymous post by the way. it does not have to be me.
Looking forward to hearing from YOU.
.....................................................................................................
here are the links to some of the anonymous questions that are NOT in this thread
-Wiping on head, wiping on Socks (wudu')
- Am I still Muslim? do I need to do shahaada Again?
- Is it shirk to ask someone to make Dua' on your behalf?
- Stuck in Saudi Arabia, Please Dua and advice
-Pressures from my Christian family about daughter's first birthday
- Loving for the sake of Allah: please explain
My husband or my children? please help
Love and salaam (peace)
(proud2bmom3: Muslim Moms-- Owner.
Group Owner
assalamu alaikum sisters,
we have our first set of Questions .. please help your sister in need and offer her supportive, accurate questions. I changed the font style and size. please post all questions in this format, so they be easier to read by all.
jazaakum Allahu khairan.
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1. What if you get married to a Muslim man and he doesn't like you sexually. I am guessing he wouldn't know the difference if he wasn't married before but if he was he may notice a difference. Would he be able to divorce if he was not satisfied?
Can this even be discussed? I read you should not discuss your bed matters in public.
2. How do you wash yourself every-time you use the bathroom? Must it be soap and water? Water only? Boy is this an embarrassing one LOL but I really don't know I just used toilet paper.
3. If you have your period are you not allowed to prayer? It would be hard to be totally clean even if you wash right before praying.
4. If you would not like your husband to have a co-wife can that be written into the marriage contract?
Group Admin
Quoting proud2bmom3:assalamu alaikum sisters,
we have our first set of Questions .. please help your sister in need and offer her supportive, accurate questions. I changed the font style and size. please post all questions in this format, so they be easier to read by all.
jazaakum Allahu khairan.
><>><><><><><><><><><><>1. What if you get married to a Muslim man and he doesn't like you sexually. I am guessing he wouldn't know the difference if he wasn't married before but if he was he may notice a difference. Would he be able to divorce if he was not satisfied?
Can this even be discussed? I read you should not discuss your bed matters in public.
This can be discussed with someone with authority in the Islamic community. that can help you, advice you and tell you the Islamic way of dealing with this. I do not think it is nice to discuss with your friend, mother, sister....or just any joe schmoe.
I read an ahadith once regarding a women who wanted a khula based onthe fact that her husband did not have what she wanted sexually. It was in riyah saliheen. And she discussed this wiht the Prohpet (SAW) I'll try to find it.
Even though divorce is discouraged it is perfectly halal and one does not have to have a specific reason other then just wanting the divorce.
2. How do you wash yourself every-time you use the bathroom? Must it be soap and water? Water only? Boy is this an embarrassing one LOL but I really don't know I just used toilet paper.You use your toilet paper as you would normally do then you can take a cup or a vase or your hand and put water into it and pour it onto your privates.
3. If you have your period are you not allowed to prayer? It would be hard to be totally clean even if you wash right before praying.
You are not allowed to Pray while on menstruation. However, you can read books of knowledge, make supplications and even read and recite Quran without touching the Musaf according to some scholars.
4. If you would not like your husband to have a co-wife can that be written into the marriage contract?
Yes you can stipulate in your marriage contract that you do not want a co-wife. It is not a sin. However, Allah has given the right to the man to have more than one wife and so as a believing woman we should learn to accept all of Islam however that can be difficult. If the marriage contract does stipulate that the husband can not marry more than one wife then he DOES get married to another or wants to and if trying to force you into it, YOU can ask for a Khula and it is usually granted because he is breaking hte marriage contract.
ps. All of these topics have been discussed on the board.. try to look them up by searching out the words.. and if anything i wrote is correct then it is from Allah and if it not then it is from my own self. and i seek forgiveness.
Group Owner
another question I recieved:
I read somewhere that when you have sex with your husband you must wash head to toe. Does that mean you must wash your hair every time you do that too?Yes, it is called Ghusl. you have to take a shower. and it is sunnah to make wudu' before ,but you don't have to. just make the intention in your mind that you want to make Ghusl, or wash up and just take a shower.
as for the question of the hair. there was a hadith about this. were women asked about their thick braided hair. and how it was difficult to keep washing it and braiding it. so the prophet peace be upon him answered them that they can keep their braid. as long as the water reaches the scalp. it does not have to reach the tips or ends of your hair. just your scalp..all of it.
on a personal note. you can wash your hair with just water to reduce chemicals on your head.
if I speak in error then it is from me, may Allah forgive us and guide us to what pleases him. Ameen
I leave you all in the trusted care of Allah..
Love and salaam (peace)
(proud2bmom3: Muslim Moms-- Owner.
Group Owner
here is another Question I received.. hope to see your replies .. thank you;
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hi are you a muslim? or is your husband? or both? are your children being raised to be muslim or a different religion? i am a chrisiten and my husband is a muslim we have been married for 4 years been together for about 5 and i have always celebrated my religious holidays christmas i put up a chirsitmas tree easter do easter baskets ect we have two kids together and i have two kids from a previous marrige anyways he does not pray five times a day he smokes ect and he recently told me (like a demand) that he doesn't want me teaching his kids my religious holidays anymore ...........i am so confused because he never said anything before in the last 5 years and i didn't even know he was suppost to pray until we went to saudi arabia to visit his family he prayed while we were there then stoped when we came home anyways i want our kids to learn both religions and now he is being rude to me by not talking to me and won't even go near me because i tryed to expalin to him that he is not being a very good rule model for them so how would they learn to be a muslim.............also i have been learning alot about Islam and being a muslim i have read many books because he is pushing me so much to do this but as of now i want to remain christen..............i just need some advice and i did post this quesetion in two different muslim groups and no one answered me thank you
Love and salaam (peace)
(proud2bmom3: Muslim Moms-- Owner.
Group Owner
hi are you a muslim? or is your husband? or both? are your children being raised to be muslim or a different religion? i am a chrisiten and my husband is a muslim we have been married for 4 years been together for about 5 and i have always celebrated my religious holidays christmas i put up a chirsitmas tree easter do easter baskets ect we have two kids together and i have two kids from a previous marrige anyways he does not pray five times a day he smokes ect and he recently told me (like a demand) that he doesn't want me teaching his kids my religious holidays anymore ...........i am so confused because he never said anything before in the last 5 years and i didn't even know he was suppost to pray until we went to saudi arabia to visit his family he prayed while we were there then stoped when we came home anyways i want our kids to learn both religions and now he is being rude to me by not talking to me and won't even go near me because i tryed to expalin to him that he is not being a very good rule model for them so how would they learn to be a muslim.............also i have been learning alot about Islam and being a muslim i have read many books because he is pushing me so much to do this but as of now i want to remain christen..............i just need some advice and i did post this quesetion in two different muslim groups and no one answered me thank you
Greetings,
yes, I am Muslim and my husband is too. we have three children and we are raising them to be Muslim of course.
your husband has the obligation of giving you religious freedom. he also has the duty of teaching you about Islam. not to force you to convert. but to teach you about it. so you know about Islam and so you be able to raise your children to be Muslim insha' Allah ( God willing)
but I agree with you. in order to teach something you need to know it first. so if your husband does not educate himself in his own faith . how can he expect you to raise his children to be Muslim? being Muslim does not happen by simply stopping the children from learning about Christmas or Easter. I hope your husband realizes that.
the first thing he needs to do is be constant with his daily prayers.. that is the most basic and fundamental requirement of the faith and the first thing that he is going to be asked about when he dies. not whether he allowed his children to know about Christmas. but that he did or did not pray.
so remind him of that. and I am offering this advice to him as a sister for the sake of Allah, I am not being judgemental or condescending. I am genuinely praying for his guidance.
as for your question. and please don't feel that I am putting your faith down. but as children of a Muslim. your children should first learn only about Islam. so they wouldn't get confused. there is no harm in them learning about Christianity as well. my son is now ten. and my other son is seven , and they know the differences between Islam and Christianity. ( of course my ten year old knows a lot more details that the younger one ) but I chose to teach them about it because we live in a christian surrounding.. our dear friends are Christians. and one of my sisters in Law is Christian. she too celebrates her holidays. but is helping raise the children Muslim. she still gets them gifts on Christmas.. but they know that they are Muslim and they celebrate Eid as well.
I hope you don't mind. I will post your question in our anonymous thread. to see if any other sisters have something else to offer.
I haven't seen you post on our group. ours was the first Muslim group on the cafe. here is the URL for it. if you feel like sharing with the sisters there. or if you feel like you can talk to us. please feel free to post .
looking forward to hearing from you again.
personal advice: Arab/Muslim men ( even men in general) don't like to be contradicted, or told that they are wrong. always be calm, and talk to him in a way that indicates that you know he knows best and that you just want to learn..etc.. you know our husbands are like children LOL. reverse psychology and baby talk works best.. LOL.. best of luck .
Love and salaam (peace)
(proud2bmom3: Muslim Moms-- Owner.
Group Owner
Quoting bfssmom:
someone wants to know why muslims are not suppose to play cards . could some one please explain.
Well, not only are they a total waste of time. time that could have been spent in worship, or doing more important things. there is also a lot of gambling. and luck involved. it has nothing to do with intellect. it is the luck of the draw..
when I was younger. my father would not allow us to play cards. and I never understood why.
until I saw one member of our distant family playing cards. almost twice a week with his friends. it almost got him divorced. as he got addicted to it. I know this might sound extreme .. but even now, I know a couple that play cards together. they forget to pray.. they fight. they lie to eachother. and they don't show any respect for eachother while playing. even though they are not gambling.
I will try to find a fatwa to that effect insha' Allah.
Love and salaam (peace)
(proud2bmom3: Muslim Moms-- Owner.
Group Owner
subhaana Allah, I found a fatwa to answer your very Question alhamdulilaah.
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Question:
My I have read in another Islamic website that you shouldn't play cards even if you aren't gambling. If this is true, I don't understand why, if you are just playing for the fun of it. If you would please explain.
Jazaka Allah Khairan.
Answer:
The reasons are:
Wasting of time in something which has no benefit in this life nor in the hereafter.
This game of cards is based on the idea of gambling, and it resembles playing with dice, which is clearly prohibited in Islaam, as related in the authentic hadeeth of the Prophet :
"Whoever plays with dice, would (resemble) one who has tainted his hand with the flesh and blood of a pig," narrated by Muslim (2260).
The playing cards include pictures of creations with a soul (the Jack and Queen …).
The rancor, enmity, bitterness, and/or ill-feeling which may occur between the players (shahnaa' wa-baghdaa').
The game promotes cheating, deception, and trickery (ghish wa-tahaayul).
It distracts from the worship of Allaah, and from salaat. Even if one performs salaat on time, and with the congregation in the Masjid, how would he escape the hadeeth of the Prophet :
"Everything other than remembering Allah is (considered) wasteful play except four: a man humoring his wife, a man training his horse, a man walking between targets (learning archery), and man learning swimming," narrated by An-Nasaa'i and authenticated by Al-Albaani (Sahih Al-Jami' 4534).
Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
Love and salaam (peace)
(proud2bmom3: Muslim Moms-- Owner.
Question:
My I have read in another Islamic website that you shouldn't play cards even if you aren't gambling. If this is true, I don't understand why, if you are just playing for the fun of it. If you would please explain.
Jazaka Allah Khairan.
Answer:
The reasons are:
Wasting of time in something which has no benefit in this life nor in the hereafter.
This game of cards is based on the idea of gambling, and it resembles playing with dice, which is clearly prohibited in Islaam, as related in the authentic hadeeth of the Prophet
:
"Whoever plays with dice, would (resemble) one who has tainted his hand with the flesh and blood of a pig," narrated by Muslim (2260).
The playing cards include pictures of creations with a soul (the Jack and Queen …).
The rancor, enmity, bitterness, and/or ill-feeling which may occur between the players (shahnaa' wa-baghdaa').
The game promotes cheating, deception, and trickery (ghish wa-tahaayul).
It distracts from the worship of Allaah, and from salaat. Even if one performs salaat on time, and with the congregation in the Masjid, how would he escape the hadeeth of the Prophet
:
"Everything other than remembering Allah is (considered) wasteful play except four: a man humoring his wife, a man training his horse, a man walking between targets (learning archery), and man learning swimming," narrated by An-Nasaa'i and authenticated by Al-Albaani (Sahih Al-Jami' 4534).
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
Quoting bfssmom:
someone wants to know why muslims are not suppose to play cards . could some one please explain.
Prayers for the people of Syria... and the martyrs of Houle
- proud2bmom3
(Group Owner) on Mar. 11, 2008 at 10:59 AM